Weird neighbour keeps moving our pram.
- Thread starter FutileBreadMachine
- Start date
I have. you're being selfish and unreasonable
I live in a communal space so I speak from experience of having to deal with what different people believe to be right and wrong. It's a bit different to an apartment block in that we share a few acres of land, but there are 14 properties that share this land and have all signed up to the same lease and the terms within it. I also have the added challenge of being a Director of the Management company we set up to maintain the site and uphold the terms of the lease so know better than most the challenge afforded by such a task.
It makes me laugh when I see the term "I can't understand what's wrong with X" because I hear it all the time when AGAIN someone decides they don't need to abide by the lease THEY signed up to. They also forget that MOST of the people who moved here did so BECAUSE of the terms of the lease as well as the fabulous environment we have open to us. We don't want ball games on our nice big lawns. We don't want sheds in gardens blocking our views of fabulous surroundings. We don't want everyone adding conservatories to our Victorian buildings, or swapping their windows out for plastic ones, or painting their doors pink when everyone else's matches. We don't want loud music after 11pm, we don't want cars driving in quickly, people just popping in to "have a nose". We don't want parking in front of our houses "for 15 minutes", that's why we have visitors spaces. Put simply we paid a **** load of cash to NOT live like everyone on an estate does, with limited controls and freedom for people to do pretty much as they please in their little part of the world.
You see, if you don't want to abide by what makes the place special then sorry, move. People view leases as "that's great, well until we disagree then we will do what we want" and it is utterly tiresome. This thread shows people who believe "well I think it's OK so there" is a reason to do something and sadly when leases and obligations within them are concerned that isn't going to stand up in court.
READ YOUR ******* LEASES if you live in a communal location BEFORE you move in. If you have an issue with it, don't move in but if you do and forget/don't abide by it someone will take issue, maybe not at first, but in time. When this happens the answer is YOU ARE WRONG and just because the masses support you it doesn't mean the people who live there with you do and sadly that is all that matters. It doesn't matter how hard your life is if you don't do something, you signed up to the terms, abide by them or if you are unable/unwilling canvas to get them amended, move or abide by them.
It makes me laugh when I see the term "I can't understand what's wrong with X" because I hear it all the time when AGAIN someone decides they don't need to abide by the lease THEY signed up to. They also forget that MOST of the people who moved here did so BECAUSE of the terms of the lease as well as the fabulous environment we have open to us. We don't want ball games on our nice big lawns. We don't want sheds in gardens blocking our views of fabulous surroundings. We don't want everyone adding conservatories to our Victorian buildings, or swapping their windows out for plastic ones, or painting their doors pink when everyone else's matches. We don't want loud music after 11pm, we don't want cars driving in quickly, people just popping in to "have a nose". We don't want parking in front of our houses "for 15 minutes", that's why we have visitors spaces. Put simply we paid a **** load of cash to NOT live like everyone on an estate does, with limited controls and freedom for people to do pretty much as they please in their little part of the world.
You see, if you don't want to abide by what makes the place special then sorry, move. People view leases as "that's great, well until we disagree then we will do what we want" and it is utterly tiresome. This thread shows people who believe "well I think it's OK so there" is a reason to do something and sadly when leases and obligations within them are concerned that isn't going to stand up in court.
READ YOUR ******* LEASES if you live in a communal location BEFORE you move in. If you have an issue with it, don't move in but if you do and forget/don't abide by it someone will take issue, maybe not at first, but in time. When this happens the answer is YOU ARE WRONG and just because the masses support you it doesn't mean the people who live there with you do and sadly that is all that matters. It doesn't matter how hard your life is if you don't do something, you signed up to the terms, abide by them or if you are unable/unwilling canvas to get them amended, move or abide by them.
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- Joined
- 7 Feb 2008
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- 2,377
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- Surrey
I'm being unreasonable after I've agreed to stop leaving it there in the morning? And your first reaction on seeing someone's pram in the hall is to tip it over? And why are you talking about my flat being small when I've said several times I only take it down to help out my wife.
He's done nothing wrong by moving your pram. It hasn't been damaged, he simply moved it whilst it was left in a communal space.
Don't want people to touch your stuff, don't leave it where its not supposed to be.
I know GD attracts the absolute worst kind of people, but the level of angst and aggression from some of the people in this thread is incredible. In my tenement we have 3 prams, 2 bikes and a tree stump in the communal area and I don't know anyone that has a problem with it.
If anyone did then I'd expect a polite note through the relevant letter boxes would sort things out.
If anyone did then I'd expect a polite note through the relevant letter boxes would sort things out.
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Your first reaction to someone moving your pram was to hide and film them, you fruit!
When you get to my age you realise the only way to get people to stop others from being prats is to call them out on it. I've knocked over bikes and all sorts of crap in hallways and guess what? After a few times of doing it the hallways become clear.
Also another one is people in the gym leaving clean towels in the locker room. It takes up space and messes the place up so. It effects people use of the gym locker room. So i use them or chuck them in the towel bin, after a few weeks i've noticed that people aren't doing it so much any more. People by nature are selfish and when they abuse facilitates they need to be taken down a peg or two.
If you agreed to stop leaving the pram in the morning then you've seen the light. Don't do it again.
Soldato
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- 28 Oct 2003
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- 5,510
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- Worthington-on-sea
So much angry in here.
Just contrive to meet in the hallway while your pram is there. Say something like "I hope the pram isn't in your way, I just bring it down in the morning so my wife doesn't have to as it'd be a struggl with a small child." Either he has no problem, or he does have a problem but you being nice & polite will neutralise his anger and he'll be forced to pretend he doesn't have a problem. You going in with a frankly creepy video of him, asking "what the **** do you think you're doing? I'll make you wish you died as a child!" is just going to antagonise the situation and ensure that yes he does have a problem with you leaving your pram where you shouldn't.
Of course, he could just be a crazy, in which case resort to your original plan.
Just contrive to meet in the hallway while your pram is there. Say something like "I hope the pram isn't in your way, I just bring it down in the morning so my wife doesn't have to as it'd be a struggl with a small child." Either he has no problem, or he does have a problem but you being nice & polite will neutralise his anger and he'll be forced to pretend he doesn't have a problem. You going in with a frankly creepy video of him, asking "what the **** do you think you're doing? I'll make you wish you died as a child!" is just going to antagonise the situation and ensure that yes he does have a problem with you leaving your pram where you shouldn't.
Of course, he could just be a crazy, in which case resort to your original plan.
Then you are very naive as this thread shows. I'm sure a polite letter through the box of the OP would not have changed his view? The pram would still be there because, well, "who are they to tell me" is the common response.
I am using you as an example OP not because that is how you might react, I don't know your situation it lease terms.
OP: Sounds like your neighbour is a right ass but I can see his point of view. It's a shame some sort of compromise couldn't have been reached for the sake of 20 minutes. But ultimately the guy is right and if you can leave a pram there for a while what's to stop others leaving bikes, prams, toys etc in the hall too, its a communal space and needs to be kept that way. Sounds like a new lighter pram is on the cards.
I don't think I'm that naive. Been living in tenements and shared accommodation for over a decade.
A polite letter from the mad old codger through the OP's letter box (or left in the pram) to initiate a dialogue would have been a better opening move than messing around with the pram, no? You can't always talk people around, but dialogue is always a worthwhile first attempt in my book. Sadly a lot of people seem to jump straight to incandescent rage, I really have no idea why.
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It's not a GD thread until:
And then this. Absolutely this.
The guy could have a left a note saying 'please can you stop leaving this here', but instead he just moves it a little bit each day?
I have the ultimate plan for you (although it may cost a little bit):
>rent a small storage unit
>proceed to buy up lots and lots of cheap prams from ebay/gumtree/second hand shops etc
>store them all up until you have at least 30
>one night, rent a lorry to bring all of the prams to your block of flats
>stuff as many of these prams in front of his door as possible, then litter the rest around the building
>next morning he will be all MOTHER OF PRAMS
>??????
>profit
And then this. Absolutely this.
The guy could have a left a note saying 'please can you stop leaving this here', but instead he just moves it a little bit each day?
I have the ultimate plan for you (although it may cost a little bit):
>rent a small storage unit
>proceed to buy up lots and lots of cheap prams from ebay/gumtree/second hand shops etc
>store them all up until you have at least 30
>one night, rent a lorry to bring all of the prams to your block of flats
>stuff as many of these prams in front of his door as possible, then litter the rest around the building
>next morning he will be all MOTHER OF PRAMS
>??????
>profit
And why should the person who has a problem with it go through the trouble of having to send letters etc. when those items shouldn't be there to bother him/her in the first place?
How about those who put them there will ask for a permission FIRST, from EVERYONE, before assuming no-one minds?
I wouldn't care enough to move them or take action, but I would still mind.
I would think it's easier to write a short note or letter than to move the pram each day
You should have just left a letter explaining the reason, if he can't put up with a bit of inconvenience for a mother and her baby he's a bit of a ****.
Now that you've challenged him he is unlikely to back down and I wouldn't be surprised if he reports you to your landlord.
Now that you've challenged him he is unlikely to back down and I wouldn't be surprised if he reports you to your landlord.
Soldato
- Joined
- 25 Aug 2010
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- 3,030
best note I've ever seen like this was a note asking a guy (very politely) not to leave his bike in the stairwell just inside the door...
it was pinned to the wall with a knife! never saw another bike there!