Taking advantage of human kindness

Your young and found out an unfortunate life lesson. I was 21 when my girlfriend decided to cheat with me. It sucks that it happens to people I almost want to say trust no one but yourself but yo can't can't go through life with this mindset.

Next relationship you will be a lot wiser =)
 
It's these theophany posts you cant help but read all the way through, no matter how long the post is. Unless its repeated for all to see for the billianth time ofcourse.
 
Ah the 'ol one two switcharoo!

I used find & replace to change 'girlfriend' to shrek, and 'joe' to the rock AKA Dwayne Johnson. Made it 17% 9001% better
 
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Atlas23 said:
Ah the 'ol one two switcharoo!

I used find & replace to change 'girlfriend' to shrek, and 'joe' to the rock AKA Dwayne Johnson. Made it 17% better
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I don't know how you calculated that, but i think you should look over it. Anything with The "People's Champion" Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson makes it at least 32-45% cooler depending on the current economical climate. Also, Shrek is love, Shrek is life. So i would say that you made it anywhere from 43%-51% better.
 
Wow, Hey Alex. This is the last place I thought I'd bump into you!

I guess I owe you an apology about what happened with Debbie, but you just weren't giving her the attention she craved, and you know, I was around, and one thing led to another. Neither of us really meant for you to get hurt, things just happened, and obviously when Debs got pregnant, it was kind of difficult for us to keep it from you any more.

I don't know if it makes it better or worse for you, but we got together properly after she left you, and we've been married 3 years now. Jacob is 4, has just started school and he's getting on really well, looks just like his dad, and Debs is pregnant with his little sister!

Anyway, hope you're well, and don't hate me too much! (I had to have stitches on the eye, and would rather not get another one...)

Sorry again mate.

Joe.
 
HecFam said:
I don't know how you calculated that, but i think you should look over it. Anything with The "People's Champion" Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson makes it at least 32-45% cooler depending on the current economical climate. Also, Shrek is love, Shrek is life. So i would say that you made it anywhere from 43%-51% better.
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Doh! Didn't take the economical climate into account! I knew my equations looked a little small. Will update
 
Haggisman said:
Wow, Hey Alex. This is the last place I thought I'd bump into you!

I guess I owe you an apology about what happened with Debbie, but you just weren't giving her the attention she craved, and you know, I was around, and one thing led to another. Neither of us really meant for you to get hurt, things just happened, and obviously when Debs got pregnant, it was kind of difficult for us to keep it from you any more.

I don't know if it makes it better or worse for you, but we got together properly after she left you, and we've been married 3 years now. Jacob is 4, has just started school and he's getting on really well, looks just like his dad, and Debs is pregnant with his little sister!

Anyway, hope you're well, and don't hate me too much! (I had to have stitches on the eye, and would rather not get another one...)

Sorry again mate.

Joe.
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Well, I guess I have to respect you for apologising Joe, even if, because of you, I'd have been married a long time ago. But, where did you go, cotton-eyed Joe?
 
TBH u kind of deserve that happening to you for being a pork pie faget
shrektongue.png
 
Theophany said:
So when I was 21 I had started working for a company a long way from home. I'd just moved in with my long-term girlfriend at the time. Everything was great and whilst we didn't have much money, we had great times together. Around this time a new guy called Joe started working at my company. Like me, he'd come a long way from home to make his fortune but quickly found he'd overstretched himself. Within a couple of months he was unable to pay the rent on his flat and was essentially kicked out by his landlord. I'd gotten to know Joe pretty well over this time, he was a similar age to me and we'd often go out to the pub after work. After talking it through with my girlfriend, who had met Joe once or twice, we agreed to let him sleep on our sofa for a while until he found a new place.

After a couple of weeks my girlfriend told me she was pregnant (just what every 21 year old wants to hear, NOT!). Being young, naive and in a blind panic I decided that I should probably marry her. I went out after work the next day, scrabbled together what little savings I had, bought her a modest ring and steeled myself to pop the question.

I only had to wait a couple of days for an opportunity to ask and, if I'm honest, I was kind of praying that my girlfriend would miraculously come on her period and all would be well. One night, when Joe was out of the house for the evening I popped the question over dinner. Shocked, my girlfriend started crying and naturally I had to ask what was wrong - or more accurately, what had I done wrong. That's when she landed it on me.

Apparently she'd slept with Joe when I'd been out of the house; the baby wasn't mine and as such she didn't want to marry me. I was floored and felt utterly numb. My girlfriend went on and on, trying to make up excuses, reasons and all the rest of it but I was so shocked I couldn't listen to it, it was just noise.

Like the responsible adult I am, I got blind drunk whilst she left to stay with a friend until everything calmed down a bit. By the time Joe got back to the flat I was lit up like a Christmas tree. When he came through the door I punched him as hard as I could, his eye swelled up like a cotton ball. I managed to drunkenly land a couple of extra hits before he managed to grab his car keys and get the hell out of there. That was the last I ever saw of the guy, he never appeared at work again and I've not heard of him since.

Predictably the girlfriend and I broke up in horrific fashion, a long and protracted 'maybe we can fix this' type affair that was ultimately buggered beyond any hope of repair. My brother came down to stay with me shortly after she moved out and noticed I was a bit down. He asked me why I was so mopey lately. I told him that if it hadn't been for cotton-eyed Joe, I would've been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton-eyed Joe?
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(I tell a lie, I did laugh - then died a little inside :D).
 
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