I have barely seen my cat for 3 weeks. I see him sitting on the fence outside sometimes looking as happy and delighted with life as normal but for the past 3 weeks I have noticed he hasn't been in to eat his food and has clearly not been home overnight for days on end.
So after close monitoring of the situation, I establish that he has to be eating, well, because if he wasn't, he would die. So he must be eating something/somewhere else as he isn't touching what I leave out for him. And it's good stuff! Whiska's and Go Cat, because he pretty much told me to do one when I put Asda own brand "TIGER" down to him a couple months back.
There is no way he is sleeping rough either, because he is a complete and utter pussy and would barely venture outside as it's cold and rainy out there. So he has to be spending the night with another human.
So who has stolen my cat? Immediately attention turns to my next door neighbour..... The oldies who wake me up by doing gardening at 5AM every single morning of the week. This being the same guy who said "oh, well I have a gun for that" when we first moved in and I told him we have a cat. His wife however, is a cat fanatic/moron, who has never been alowed a fluffball or her own as husband hates them, and wants to shoot them, it seemed.
So my cat has flounced. Good and proper. She must be feeding him fresh fish and/or mice every day although probably not mice, he usually prefers to eat their heads only and just leave guts everywhere. He probably does have a human bed provided in the spare bed room. With a memory foam matress and electric blanky. But honestly, what a total **** of an animal, how could he bring himself to disregard the past 8 years of loving ownership? And how do I approach the neighbours who have groomed my cat and persuaded him very easily into their lair?
My dog would never do this. He's a good lad. But the cat... I'm not even that shocked at his behaviour. If he does get bored and comes home looking for the grand welcome from his original slaves, he'll get a nasty surprise at the Tesco own brand kitty food I am purchasing to keep in the cupboard just incase he does bother his fluffy **** to come home. I'm not spending the money on the good stuff, he might have perma-flounced.
TL;DR? - Cats suck.
So after close monitoring of the situation, I establish that he has to be eating, well, because if he wasn't, he would die. So he must be eating something/somewhere else as he isn't touching what I leave out for him. And it's good stuff! Whiska's and Go Cat, because he pretty much told me to do one when I put Asda own brand "TIGER" down to him a couple months back.
There is no way he is sleeping rough either, because he is a complete and utter pussy and would barely venture outside as it's cold and rainy out there. So he has to be spending the night with another human.
So who has stolen my cat? Immediately attention turns to my next door neighbour..... The oldies who wake me up by doing gardening at 5AM every single morning of the week. This being the same guy who said "oh, well I have a gun for that" when we first moved in and I told him we have a cat. His wife however, is a cat fanatic/moron, who has never been alowed a fluffball or her own as husband hates them, and wants to shoot them, it seemed.
So my cat has flounced. Good and proper. She must be feeding him fresh fish and/or mice every day although probably not mice, he usually prefers to eat their heads only and just leave guts everywhere. He probably does have a human bed provided in the spare bed room. With a memory foam matress and electric blanky. But honestly, what a total **** of an animal, how could he bring himself to disregard the past 8 years of loving ownership? And how do I approach the neighbours who have groomed my cat and persuaded him very easily into their lair?
My dog would never do this. He's a good lad. But the cat... I'm not even that shocked at his behaviour. If he does get bored and comes home looking for the grand welcome from his original slaves, he'll get a nasty surprise at the Tesco own brand kitty food I am purchasing to keep in the cupboard just incase he does bother his fluffy **** to come home. I'm not spending the money on the good stuff, he might have perma-flounced.
TL;DR? - Cats suck.
![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
My 3 cats only get dried Whiskas and the odd treat every week or so.