grandparents not interested in grandchild after a row

Nodiggidy123

Nodiggidy123

Nodiggidy123

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Hi all.

I had a row with my mum 2 months ago about her favoring my bros daughters. I haven't spoke to my mum or dad since.

Last week my wife messaged them saying despite whatever issue they have with me or my wife, my son ( who is 1) Is missing out on his grandparents.

Well that was now 2 weeks ago and we have heard nothing. Personally I'm not that bothered about seeing them. I've never had a good relationship with my mother and my dad is her ######.

However i do worry for my son. His other grandparents are the most loving people I know and have been more parents to me than my real ones. Yet my mum and dad are not interested at all.

Do any of you guys have issues with your parents not being interested in your children? Any advice?
 
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If you've tried and done your 'bit', which it reads like you have, then I'd get on with your life - without them, at least for the foreseeable anyway.
 
The Grandparents are the ones missing out. Let them, if that is their choice. Just make sure your little boy gets all the love he can handle. It doesn't matter where that comes from.
 
They are your parents dude, they spent the best part of their health and wealth bringing you up - learn to forgive them in their old age.

You'll understand when your own kids grow up! (I don't mean that in a bad way at all bud, but its true - a lot of people don't realise how grateful we should be to our parents until its too late and their gone :(

EDIT: They're not angry with their grandson - they're angry with you!
EDIT2: before the grammer nazi's get me! :)
 
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zoomee said:
They are your parents dude, they spent the best part of their health and wealth bringing you up - learn to forgive them in their old age.

You'll understand when your own kids grow up! (I don't mean that in a bad way at all bud, but its true - a lot of people don't realise how grateful we should be to our parents until its too late and their gone :(
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This is very true. When we are younger we focus on their mistakes and inadequacies but never remember what they did do until you've been there yourself. We are here they did that and all parents make mistakes.

OP whether you are right or wrong it may be better to swallow some pride for the kid's sake.
 
zoomee said:
They are your parents dude, they spent the best part of their health and wealth bringing you up - learn to forgive them in their old age.

You'll understand when your own kids grow up! (I don't mean that in a bad way at all bud, but its true - a lot of people don't realise how grateful we should be to our parents until its too late and their gone :(
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Not all parents are awesome though are they? Mine are, and for that I'm grateful. But there's plenty of scum that don't give a damn about their kids.

And wouldn't worry about it OP. Try and forgive them, and if you can't, they have other grandparents. Some children grow up without any.
 
Gepetto said:
The Grandparents are the ones missing out. Let them, if that is their choice. Just make sure your little boy gets all the love he can handle. It doesn't matter where that comes from.
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It unfortunately happens. My dad was the same with us and our son. We spent the first 2 years going round as often as we could and they didn't seem to care. Strangely my brothers son was the talk of the family and we seemed to have been shunned due to a disagreement.

Stopped going round for just over a year and a half and now he's started taking interest.

Sometimes you have to let these things wallow and wait it out - it's only going to be the grandparents who are missing out and we didn't see the point in trying, so we didn't.

It's harsh and hard but they come round eventually.
 
adam98150 said:
Not all parents are awesome though are they? Mine are, and for that I'm grateful. But there's plenty of scum that don't give a damn about their kids.

And wouldn't worry about it OP. Try and forgive them, and if you can't, they have other grandparents. Some children grow up without any.
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I didn't have a great childhood. I can tell you for a fact my mother would be in prison today for some of the stuff she has done to me in the past. My dad was just a yes man and didn't get involved.

Things improved as i got bigger nand able to not let her hit me. And the last few years have been ok since I moved out. Perhaps I'm best keeping my boy well away.

I'm just wondering what do I tell him when he starts asking why he only has one set.
 
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Lifes too short, bang your heads together and get on with it and drop the petty stuff.

You'll all laugh about it in a few years. Family is priority regardless of arguments.
 
Xordium said:
This is very true. When we are younger we focus on their mistakes and inadequacies but never remember what they did do until you've been there yourself. We are here they did that and all parents make mistakes.

OP whether you are right or wrong it may be better to swallow some pride for the kid's sake.
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My pops always used to say to me - you'll realise when you have your own kids - and you know what? - HE WAS DAMN RIGHT!

My wife works at a care home part time and some of the stories she comes home with about kids not wanting to know about their parents just breaks my heart in two :(
 
TDLR version:

Back in 1987 my Mum and dad split and my Mum ordered me not see my Dad ever again (I was 29 and it was her fault). I refused and then announced me and Mrs Dimple were 3 months pregnant and she once again ordered the child never to see it's Grandad so I stopped seeing her. 1 week before the birth I told her I wanted two Grandparents and she went along with it for 18 months until one evening she stood at the door saying I could bring my 18 month old but I was to leave her at the door if I was still seeing my Dad. I broke it off with her, the new baby was born and she was the first person I rang "Hi Mum, we've had a baby girl and we're calling her *******" and she just put the phone down on me.
Six weeks later it was getting too much for me mentally so at 6 in the morning I got the baby's out of their beds and while they were still mucky I took them to my Mums. I told my Mum to never mention the 'Dad' word again and we've been OK for 27 years.

Short version:

Lifes too short, your parents are complete jerks so once you get that in your head everything else falls into place.
 
Dimple said:
TDLR version:

Back in 1987 my Mum and dad split and my Mum ordered me not see my Dad ever again (I was 29 and it was her fault). I refused and then announced me and Mrs Dimple were 3 months pregnant and she once again ordered the child never to see it's Grandad so I stopped seeing her. 1 week before the birth I told her I wanted two Grandparents and she went along with it for 18 months until one evening she stood at the door saying I could bring my 18 month old but I was to leave her at the door if I was still seeing my Dad. I broke it off with her, the new baby was born and she was the first person I rang "Hi Mum, we've had a baby girl and we're calling her *******" and she just put the phone down on me.
Six weeks later it was getting too much for me mentally so at 6 in the morning I got the baby's out of their beds and while they were still mucky I took them to my Mums. I told my Mum to never mention the 'Dad' word again and we've been OK for 27 years.

Short version:

Lifes too short, your parents are complete jerks so once you get that in your head everything else falls into place.
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wait are you saying yopu abandoned your dad that night or just told your mum not to mention him but kept seeing him?
 
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