12 years of marriage

Without reading anything more than the first post it sounds your predictability and doting is boring her. Some women take comfort from it, some become tired of it. There is not one rule works for all in any relationship as people are all very different but I suspect she has power over you and has lost a little respect.

Many ways that can be fixed, but it might be best to start with rekindling some old friendships and having a few lads nights. Nothing raucous and don't cause an issue with her nights out at this point, but start doing stuff on the spure of the moment and if she moans do what she did to you.

"Tough, see you later".

It will either shake her up (which may take time and pain) or blow your world apart but if that blows it apart it's past broken I'd suggest and might be time to move on.
 
You just need to sit down with her when the kids are in bed and talk it out. Make a point of suggesting a time and a date, and stick to it. It could be the make or break so it is important you both take the time to do this.

Whilst I can't condone her behaviour bringing up 3 kids on her own is no walk in the park either. She sounds as frustrated as you. But you have the power to make a difference. So communicate!
 
Housey said:
Without reading anything more than the first post it sounds your predictability and doting is boring her. Some women take comfort from it, some become tired of it. There is not one rule works for all in any relationship as people are all very different but I suspect she has power over you and has lost a little respect.

Many ways that can be fixed, but it might be best to start with rekindling some old friendships and having a few lads nights. Nothing raucous and don't cause an issue with her nights out at this point, but start doing stuff on the spure of the moment and if she moans do what she did to you.

"Tough, see you later".

It will either shake her up (which may take time and pain) or blow your world apart but if that blows it apart it's past broken I'd suggest and might be time to move on.
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Couldn't of said it better. You don't work for her it's a partnership.

No disrespect, but man up and take a little bit of your life back
 
Do you take time to talk to her, involve her in your life, ie take her out regularly (not shopping where you spend loads on her as some sort of compensation) so she has a life away from your house and 3 small kids? Its incredibly boring being stuck at home all day and no adult contact. Sounds like shes been craving a life for a while and now she has one shes not going back.
Most women will try to shunt your mates aside eventually, dont be so weak.
 
well we had another fight :(
she went next door.
guy next door came round we had a good chat.
i am totally ruined by his by the way.

wife comes back round now after 2 hours or so., shee does not want to talk.

bangs head against wall,. i must be the ******** for actually giving a **** about our family and not myself.

i just said i will go, she said she does not want to talk about it now, am i missing something.
these are all my life and it hurts so so bad.
 
teenwolf said:
well we had another fight :(
she went next door.
guy next door came round we had a good chat.
i am totally ruined by his by the way.

wife comes back round now after 2 hours or so., shee does not want to talk.

bangs head against wall,. i must be the ******** for actually giving a **** about our family and not myself.
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She went around to the neighbours house? :confused:

Talk to her or **** her off. Not sure how old you are but the sooner you get rid the sooner you can find someone truly awesome and be happy.
 
we had a row, she blew up and so did i , you know when you get the feeling that you are the only one fighting for it that your own life means nothing.
i love them all and my kids thats all i do what i do.
 
slap her with demands, tell her you are a partnership and a family and you want your partner and the family to spend time together. And if she had her priorities right she would know that you and the kids mean more than her gym friends.

Its no good as shes constantly getting her way, you want to talk she throws a temper tantrum and walks out. So she doesn't have to face it. If you ask me someone who does that knows they are in the wrong.
 
teenwolf said:
thank you i know that,
but she is my life and more so my kids :(
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It's not the end for your kids just because you and your missus break up. As people have said, it's probably worse for them when you're at each others throats/resent each other a lot. Obviously, the choice is yours. Think carefully before you make any decisions.
 
Setsuna said:
slap her with demands, tell her you are a partnership and a family and you want your partner and the family to spend time together. And if she had her priorities right she would know that you and the kids mean more than her gym friends.

Its no good as shes constantly getting her way, you want to talk she throws a temper tantrum and walks out. So she doesn't have to face it. If you ask me someone who does that knows they are in the wrong.
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Lol.

Great advice if you want to end your 12 year relationship.

Assuming she hasn't met someone else and there is still something worth fighting for other than the children - even the slightest glimmer of affection from her.

You need to allow her to carry on doing her thing, but find some common ground and try to win her back. Choose something you both enjoy doing and hopefully she will enjoy it too.

The 'rot' has took 12 years to set in, FFS don't make demands and try to change things over night.

I am speaking from the position of someone who has been married 15 years.
 
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