Love/hate women opinions..

ci_newman said:
Inb4 closet gay
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haha nah man, I wish :P I've been to a gay club once with 3 colleagues that were lesbians, I stayed an hour and had to get the hell out, too much to handle lol. also speaking my closest friend is gay, 0% attraction to dudes :P
life would be simplier if i was gay right..? lol
 
elmarko said:
You are basically still a child at 22.

Once you grow up you will learn how to handle your emotions without playing silly games (pushing them away) with people you feel affection for. This requires a reasonable amount of relationship experience for some people, so get back on the horse, stop over-thinking & just see how it goes.

Acting like an idiot to push away a women because you are scared of them leaving you is ultimately pointless, essentially you are manifesting the very conditions you subconsciously fear.
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I can't disagree with you there, still have the babyface :P The thing is i cant handle my emotions, its my weakness..it's always been like that growing up as a child, due to the bullying in school because of my tourrets, you know kids are kids. hyper sensitivity i'd say, and over thinking is something that's mandatory for me, I cant stop it
 
You're aware of it though, this is the strangest part. The problem with this sort of thing is that the people doing what you're doing aren't aware of how they're acting, and dismiss other people's attempts to point it out.

So, you're aware of it but you still allow it to happen, how strange!

I think for you, the number one thing to continue to think about and remember is that you should be treating women as people, before treating them like women, because gender shouldn't rule who you are as a person.
 
lawrence281 said:
I can't disagree with you there, still have the babyface :P The thing is i cant handle my emotions, its my weakness..it's always been like that growing up as a child, due to the bullying in school because of my tourrets, you know kids are kids. hyper sensitivity i'd say, and over thinking is something that's mandatory for me, I cant stop it
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You will though.

A vast majority of men mellow with age, as you start to hit your mid to late 20's it's likely you will have more experience & after repeating the same mistakes (pushing away women you love) you will eventually learn the hard way.

The only way to avoid learning the hard way this is to make a definitive effort to change your behaviour, really appreciate that the person you are in that situation isn't who you want to be - or the kind of person you would want to be with.

I didn't mean it with judgement btw, I was also stupid at around that age in some respects - but grew up significantly in my mid 20's.

Once you truly understand that if somebody wants to leave you, they will. By acting like a moron you only increase the chance of it occurring.
 
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lawrence281 said:
But doesnt explain
Why the first 2 months with her were amazing, nice days out, honeymoon feeling, felt like nothing could ever go wrong
and then one week, I go and ruin it
and pretend like she doesnt exist, or care about her in any way possible, she could get hit by a car, and i woudnt blink
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You sound immature and narcissistic (don't worry we all were to some degree) you basically need to mature and understand what a loving relationship is really all about.

I would say get out into the world, follow your passions, travel, become confident in your own skin. While you're doing that you will probably bump into an awesome girl doing the same.
 
[FnG]magnolia;28253902 said:
Aren't you the chap with Tourettes who was dating a furry or self-harmer or some other broken person, in their first relationship, and barely into his twenties?

You don't need therapy, you need to let life happen to you.
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A furry isn't a broken person, a female furry can be lots of fun ;)
 
You should be somewhat applauded for your self awareness - you recognise that the problem is within, which is a good step to owning and solving/controlling it.

You're a step or three ahead of most women-hating nutjobs ;)

With a history of tourettes, bullying, what sounds like early-experience trust-affecting women issues (and mother issues?), you probably have some unwinding to do of why you don't let yourself get too close to partners. Therapy might help, but generally understanding the roots of your issue and keeping it in mind when getting twitchy in relationships can probably get you a long way.

Also, you're only 22 - not many have long and successful relationships at your age.
 
I think the OP needs professional counselling. These 'destructive' phases he has are anger from earlier experiences and until he deals with those he will struggle to have a 'normal' relationship.

IMHO.
 
lawrence281 said:
I'd say I was pretty attached to her as well as she was me, I was nothing but myself to her. we were only together for 2 months, and did had one of the best amazing days out/memories....but idk I feel like i could have commitment issues just from being played over the years by girls?
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Or you could simply have commitment issues because you are not ready for commitment - relationships, no matter how great, always involve comprimise and sacrifice which can cause frustrations and leads to you sabotaging your relationships in order to once again be in full control.
At 22 it is very natural to want your freedom, very much 'your life is your own', essentially you like the idea of being in a relationship (everyone always does) but when it actually happens you likely find it rather suffocating, pretty natural to be honest.
Obviously some people get into serious and happy relationships by 22 or even earlier, but I would say they are the minority.
 
cheesyboy said:
You should be somewhat applauded for your self awareness - you recognise that the problem is within, which is a good step to owning and solving/controlling it.

You're a step or three ahead of most women-hating nutjobs ;)

With a history of tourettes, bullying, what sounds like early-experience trust-affecting women issues (and mother issues?), you probably have some unwinding to do of why you don't let yourself get too close to partners. Therapy might help, but generally understanding the roots of your issue and keeping it in mind when getting twitchy in relationships can probably get you a long way.

Also, you're only 22 - not many have long and successful relationships at your age.
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I've been self-aware, for maybe 4 years or so, and i tried to fix myself or just ignore my issues and let it vanish, but I guess it doesnt work that way. I guess I've had women issues in the past, My mother was an alcoholic during my chilldhood, but were on good terms for few years now since she stopped
 
George Hincapie said:
I think the OP needs professional counselling. These 'destructive' phases he has are anger from earlier experiences and until he deals with those he will struggle to have a 'normal' relationship.

IMHO.
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I did have counselling as a child, to learn to control various things, and was seen by a psychiatrist during my childhood to get a grip of my tourret's, learn to control it and such. Most of it was linked to my behavioural problems . I'm wondering if it still is, I'm waiting to get a referral as we speak anyway
 
lawrence281 said:
I did have counselling as a child, to learn to control various things, and was seen by a psychiatrist during my childhood to get a grip of my tourret's, learn to control it and such. Most of it was linked to my behavioural problems . I'm wondering if it still is, I'm waiting to get a referral as we speak anyway
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Good luck then. Stick with it.
 
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