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TL DR 2:
- Housemate made a mistake not haggling with a tradesman who doubled the quote from £90 to £180 for waste removal even though he was reminded to haggle.
- He's offered to pay more, but only if I send a text apologising to him and admitting he got a fair price for £180 (full message below).
- I am saying that if the situation was reversed, i'd have offered to pay more, without requiring an apology text message.
Note that the apology text message is like a Facebook apology when you lose 5-0 on FIFA. It's banter more than anything.
Which option is more honourable?
Slightly embarrassing crafting this forum post, as the people involved (including myself) are almost 30. But...
Having a massive (albeit banter fuelled) argument with housemate regarding who was right. And I'd like some impartial opinions.
Backstory.
Housemate decides it's time to clear out the basement of a bunch of junk we have including: his old mattress, other housemate's exercise, misc. cardbox boxes and old furniture. He gets a quote from a guy on gumtree for £90 to take the lot. The assumption being the guy is going to clear all the junk out for us and dispose of it at the tip. The plan is to split the cost 3 ways £30 each.
The man with the van turns up yesterday and begins clearing out the basement. Half way through clearing it out, he tells my housemate it's actually going to be double the price as he didn't expect this much waste.
I overhear the conversation happening [edit: from the other side of the house] and find out later my housemate had agreed to pay £180 without putting up any argument at all or confirming if the others in the house are happy to stump up extra.
Couple of things to note:
- There was no way the junk was double the expected amount.
- When the truck was fill, there was still enough space for the 2 sofas the guy had to pickup from his next job
- We gave him a working exercise bike to take away he could comfortable sell
- All three of us helped load the truck - we originally thought the guy would do all the work himself (or there would be a couple of people turning up).
When my housemate goes to pay the guy once everything has been loaded up, I say "make sure you haggle that price down".
Housemate comes back into the house a few minutes later and I checked whether he had brokered a better deal... his response "well I told the guy I couldn't be bothered to haggle with him and gave him £180".
I was fuming at this point, not only did my housemate not try to haggle at all... he proactively told the guy that he "couldn't be bothered to haggle". There was very little chance the guy would not accept a smaller deal... like £130 or £150. The truck was fully loaded, and it was free cash for him.
So we've been arguing about the above situation for a day now.
I said that if the roles were reversed I would have:
1) Definitely haggled price down
2) If haggling didn't work, or even if it did... apologised for getting the wrong quote and hoped other housemates would understand and be happy to split the fee 3 ways
My housemate has said
1) "I didn't want to haggle as I thought it was a fair price, I had quotes for £200 from elsewhere... you can't be anchored at the £90 price point"
2) Said he would only apologise on the assumption the objective was to get the lowest possible price.
I don't know about you... but when is the objective not to get the lowest (and hence best) price?
All I am looking for is an apology... he's not budging.
This morning after I almost got an apology out of him for not attempting to haggle and making a mistake with the quote estimate I receive this message on whatsapp:
"Being the honourable man that I am..I have a deal to strike with the deal maker extraordinaire (armyofharmony). I will pay 80 pounds, other housemate and armyofharmony can pay 50. However, I wish to receive a separate text from armyofharmony apologising for his behaviour this morning. If I receive this text without qualification, the deal is struck. The text is to read 'Thank you Jon-Paul for sorting out the waste removal. I apologise for not helping out more yesterday. Furthermore, I accept you secured a deal for us at fair value, a sensible and rational action. My behaviour this morning was inappropriate. Yours, armyofharmony".
The "behaviour in the morning" he is referring to is the fact we were debating this topic in the morning... there was no animosity or violence etc... just verbal debate with both sides refusing to back down.
The whatsapp message might seem quite childish... but that's the level of banter in this house. My argument is this. The honourable person would offer to pay the extra... but not attach conditions to this gesture. And as someone who is also honourable, I would accept apology and still split the cost 3 ways despite the mistake.
Important to note: Neither of us are socially awkward. So not having the balls to haggle is nothing to do with this.
TLDR:
To summarise my question... who's approach is the most honourable?
My approach:
If situation was reversed I would 1) Have haggled price down 2) Apologised to housemates 3) Offered to pay difference or a bit more if housemates seemed miffed... with no attachments.
Housemate's approach
1) Increased our price by 100% and proactively avoided haggling with van man even though it's not just his money he's dealing with
2) No apology in sight...
3) Sends the above whatsapp message.
To ensure this post isn't too one-sided, my housemates arguments are:
1) It was a fair price against other quotes he received, we would be "ripping the guy off" for £90... even though that was the quote.
2) I should have refused to pay the price as soon as my housemate mentioned the price was double. Note that I did say he should haggle it down as it's ridiculous.
I think the fact he's offered to pay more means he knows he is wrong... but his far too proud to admit this and has tried to obfuscate this point with the ridiculous requirement that I need to send a text I disagree with 100%.
Thoughts welcome!
- Housemate made a mistake not haggling with a tradesman who doubled the quote from £90 to £180 for waste removal even though he was reminded to haggle.
- He's offered to pay more, but only if I send a text apologising to him and admitting he got a fair price for £180 (full message below).
- I am saying that if the situation was reversed, i'd have offered to pay more, without requiring an apology text message.
Note that the apology text message is like a Facebook apology when you lose 5-0 on FIFA. It's banter more than anything.
Which option is more honourable?
Slightly embarrassing crafting this forum post, as the people involved (including myself) are almost 30. But...
Having a massive (albeit banter fuelled) argument with housemate regarding who was right. And I'd like some impartial opinions.
Backstory.
Housemate decides it's time to clear out the basement of a bunch of junk we have including: his old mattress, other housemate's exercise, misc. cardbox boxes and old furniture. He gets a quote from a guy on gumtree for £90 to take the lot. The assumption being the guy is going to clear all the junk out for us and dispose of it at the tip. The plan is to split the cost 3 ways £30 each.
The man with the van turns up yesterday and begins clearing out the basement. Half way through clearing it out, he tells my housemate it's actually going to be double the price as he didn't expect this much waste.
I overhear the conversation happening [edit: from the other side of the house] and find out later my housemate had agreed to pay £180 without putting up any argument at all or confirming if the others in the house are happy to stump up extra.
Couple of things to note:
- There was no way the junk was double the expected amount.
- When the truck was fill, there was still enough space for the 2 sofas the guy had to pickup from his next job
- We gave him a working exercise bike to take away he could comfortable sell
- All three of us helped load the truck - we originally thought the guy would do all the work himself (or there would be a couple of people turning up).
When my housemate goes to pay the guy once everything has been loaded up, I say "make sure you haggle that price down".
Housemate comes back into the house a few minutes later and I checked whether he had brokered a better deal... his response "well I told the guy I couldn't be bothered to haggle with him and gave him £180".
I was fuming at this point, not only did my housemate not try to haggle at all... he proactively told the guy that he "couldn't be bothered to haggle". There was very little chance the guy would not accept a smaller deal... like £130 or £150. The truck was fully loaded, and it was free cash for him.
So we've been arguing about the above situation for a day now.
I said that if the roles were reversed I would have:
1) Definitely haggled price down
2) If haggling didn't work, or even if it did... apologised for getting the wrong quote and hoped other housemates would understand and be happy to split the fee 3 ways
My housemate has said
1) "I didn't want to haggle as I thought it was a fair price, I had quotes for £200 from elsewhere... you can't be anchored at the £90 price point"
2) Said he would only apologise on the assumption the objective was to get the lowest possible price.
I don't know about you... but when is the objective not to get the lowest (and hence best) price?
All I am looking for is an apology... he's not budging.
This morning after I almost got an apology out of him for not attempting to haggle and making a mistake with the quote estimate I receive this message on whatsapp:
"Being the honourable man that I am..I have a deal to strike with the deal maker extraordinaire (armyofharmony). I will pay 80 pounds, other housemate and armyofharmony can pay 50. However, I wish to receive a separate text from armyofharmony apologising for his behaviour this morning. If I receive this text without qualification, the deal is struck. The text is to read 'Thank you Jon-Paul for sorting out the waste removal. I apologise for not helping out more yesterday. Furthermore, I accept you secured a deal for us at fair value, a sensible and rational action. My behaviour this morning was inappropriate. Yours, armyofharmony".
The "behaviour in the morning" he is referring to is the fact we were debating this topic in the morning... there was no animosity or violence etc... just verbal debate with both sides refusing to back down.
The whatsapp message might seem quite childish... but that's the level of banter in this house. My argument is this. The honourable person would offer to pay the extra... but not attach conditions to this gesture. And as someone who is also honourable, I would accept apology and still split the cost 3 ways despite the mistake.
Important to note: Neither of us are socially awkward. So not having the balls to haggle is nothing to do with this.
TLDR:
To summarise my question... who's approach is the most honourable?
My approach:
If situation was reversed I would 1) Have haggled price down 2) Apologised to housemates 3) Offered to pay difference or a bit more if housemates seemed miffed... with no attachments.
Housemate's approach
1) Increased our price by 100% and proactively avoided haggling with van man even though it's not just his money he's dealing with
2) No apology in sight...
3) Sends the above whatsapp message.
To ensure this post isn't too one-sided, my housemates arguments are:
1) It was a fair price against other quotes he received, we would be "ripping the guy off" for £90... even though that was the quote.
2) I should have refused to pay the price as soon as my housemate mentioned the price was double. Note that I did say he should haggle it down as it's ridiculous.
I think the fact he's offered to pay more means he knows he is wrong... but his far too proud to admit this and has tried to obfuscate this point with the ridiculous requirement that I need to send a text I disagree with 100%.
Thoughts welcome!
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