emails you get from people at work.

jumpy

jumpy

jumpy

Soldato
Joined
6 Nov 2004
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Yesterday I received the following:

Jumpy, could I these as Dwg as we have Cad our bits onto these as well.

This was from a company director.

Bro, do you even English?

What sort of doublespeak do you lot get, anything worth pointing at and laughing?
 
Have you ever had a dream that you, um, you had, your, you, you could, you’ll do, you, you wants, you, you could do so, you , you’ll do, you could, you, you want, you want them, to do you so much, you could do anything?
 
I used to deal with depots abroad quite a lot, which gets you emails like:

"Please revert soonest"

"This is top urgent"

"Thanks to make checks with the local truck"

"Undel because the driver run out of thyme"

"Your escalation is totally illegal and wrong"

That sort of thing.
 
Nah, one of our subcontractors.

But I do enjoy a game of ******** bingo with our directors. ...
"By cop" "in the box" "we've got to action this going forward" and all of the rest.
 
Nothing really.

Sometimes you have to do a double read when getting emails from my non-native English colleagues from around the world where they've misspelt a word or used it in the wrong context.
 
I friend of mine, bored and alone in the office one day, was watching some adult videos on his computer.

His computer, however, had no sound output and, wanting some aural stimulation to accompany his visuals, he emailed the videos (this is about 10 years ago) to his boss' computer - which did have audio.

He then viewed the smut, engrossed in glorious mono sound, before deleting the emails and returning to his desk.

What he hadn't banked on, was that his boss's computer had two versions of outlook on it - and his manager tended to use the other one. He sits down at his PC, "oh, I've got some emails from you - what are these videos?", friendo realises what's happened and starts to come clean

"it's porn"
"Why are you sending me porn Robert?"
"Er, well, your computer has speakers you see"
"..."
"I don't think you should be doing that"
"won't happen again"

No further action. It was never mentioned again :D
 
so ur wid ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the voice is "wut r u doing wit my daughter?" U tell ur girl n she say "my dad is ded". THEN WHO WAS PHONE?
 
My boss puts question marks at the end of pretty much every sentence when he emails... even when making a statement or answering a question. Makes him look like such a moron.

Example:

Me: 'I am sending over the received results to the customer now via email and I will phone to explain'

Boss: 'I will discuss this with the client on Monday when i return? I will see what lee-way there is? I don't foresee that being a problem? I am just about to get on my plane?'

He also uses the term 'sense check' by which he means proofread or check his work for him... which makes me want to punch him in the face.
 
Sounds perfectly reasonable for computer-aided design speak. You should hear how he speaks to his wife. :p
 
Excellent! Can i play?

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Since our management and clinicians started using iPads I've found the quality of e-mail in general has been going down the toilet. I frequently get one liners which are full of acronyms, many of which are incorrectly spelt but I'm expected to decipher.
 
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