Abortion/termination - anyone ever had one?

I personally don't think this is a place to discuss this. But I have been through a similar situation around 10 years ago, Where my self and the girl i was with had went through for the abortion due to our age college and what not. Least I can say it was right thing to do at the time how ever I do also wish we didn't. As we could have so many other options for the little one. However now I have two beautiful kids who I couldn't live without any of the two of them.

Do whats best for you both and all the best!
 
20 years ago, my partner at the time fell pregnant. We made the decision to abort and it is something I have regretted ever since. We are no longer together but I often think about what my son or daughter would have been like.

Not an easy decision.
 
To be honest I think you already know in your mind that you would prefer the abortion option, what you're looking for from this thread is people to validate you if she decides against it and you get lumbered with the result.

At the end of the day, you have been using (unsuccessfully) contraceptives. That there is pretty much your argument done and closed, you didn't want a child and so you tried methods to avoid having one.
 
EliotG said:
Only if it splits, which is virtually never. Not hard to check.

I'm sorry that I'm being judgemental, but after seeing my brother going through it all it just makes me angry.
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Condoms are only 98% effective, so they are far from fool proof.

http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception-guide/pages/male-condoms.aspx
If used correctly every time you have sex, male condoms are 98% effective. This means that two out of 100 women using male condoms as contraception will become pregnant in one year.
 
The question you need to ask yourself is "do you want to be with this woman for the rest of your life?". I don't know about you but I would prefer to be with the mother of my children for life. I don't want them to have a broken home.

Everything else can be worked around (e.g. delay Uni for a year, etc, etc).

Your biggest problem if you do decide that now isn't the right time is that she basically holds all of the cards. Either way you don't want it to turn ugly. I honestly can't guide you on how to have that conversation without her turning on you.

Best of luck with whatever you decide.
 
Spuddy said:
You're not wrong no, Im not sure if it will go the distance. Do I love her, yes undoubtedly but Im still not sure we'll be together forever..

I have a support network of friends and family fortunately, yes.

To be honest, its probably the relationship not being fully fledged but the timing around my career goals/opportunities just adds to the problem. Im finding it hard to commit saying "yes I want to live with you forever and have a family starting NOW" which will change my life completely.
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To me this is the question
You shouldn't stay with someone (or put pressure on yourself) to stay with someone if you don't want to
If she wants to keep the baby I would expect her to support you emotionally in your exams. As in not make you feel guilty in putting yourself more into that (as it's a very short term in long run, as well as her decision to keep)

Do you know if she feels the relationship at same point as you feel? Ie, not definitive?
I suppose it's possible that she sees this as a 'trap'? People play all sorts of games.

No baby involved but I think my ex stayed with me years longer than she loved me for, and I find myself 30,single, alone rather than 27 single and with a few more friends. It's very easy to 'go with the flow' and even more so in your case.
If you don't want to stay I'm sure resentment will only grow, as it did in her case towards me
 
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I feel for you OP. Very tough decision. All I can say is that if you commit to your GF and new baby you will find a way to make it work. When we decided to have our second child the timing was awkward; I was a (very) mature student and the baby was due right on finals, and obviously I didn't have a "proper" job either. Baby was slightly premature, got through finals (excellent grades), straight into a new job, all with hardly any sleep :p It was awesome though, to be honest. We were both 100% committed to making it work, and it was a amazing motivation for me as well. Looking back I can't believe we made it through, but it's something I'm proud of beyond words.

Obviously your situation is very different, but the point is that IF you can make this all work, it will be something immensely life-defining. You will come out of it a much stronger and wiser person, and I can pretty much guarantee you will love the little guy/girl unconditionally. Of course there are no guarantees with your relationship, but hey, there are no guarantees for anything.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I certainly wouldn't judge you if you felt this wasn't the right time.
 
Shampoo said:
Must be alt account conspiracy!

I wasn't aware of post count correlating to being pro/anti life. We all don't live on internet forums.
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After the ******** that joined yesterday to post a thread about Muslims, clearly being an already existing member just using an alt account so his repugnant views wouldn't be on his main account, you can see what type of scumbag this forum generates.
 
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