Buying a house with girlfriend ?

Basically goes like this - option 1 you save half as agree & get named on the property with me and we share it or option 2 I pay the deposit myself and own the house myself , it's a 50 - 50 and statistics say it's a 50 / 50 chance you won't be together in the next 10 years. If you can own it yourself
 
fire_munki said:
Get a deed of trust, that's how we've done it as I put in the deposit. We own the house 50/50 but if we were to split up I get my deposit back before we split the rest.

All safe and good and we're happy, we are equal in our relationship I just happened to have the money saved.
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This is how we have done ours, it makes sense in my mind, some people might not agree but each to their own :)
 
I have the opposite problem, my GF (wife from September) is really good with money whereas i'm a spender.

I just let her control all the money.

Works for me :D
 
baz178 said:
She did say yesterday that she would pay the full mortgage and utilities every month and just use my wage to live on.
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Consider this...if she does pay all of the mortgage, who will own the house if you split up?

You must consider the possibility of splitting up. It's at least as sensible as getting house insurance. My advice is to take legal advice before doing anything. You're betting a significant part of your life on something you have no control over. You'd be silly to not have some sort of plan for losing that bet.
 
baz178 said:
She did say yesterday that she would pay the full mortgage and utilities every month and just use my wage to live on.
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So now she suddenly is able to save enough money to pay the mortgage and bills once the house is purchased...

But unable to save anything before for the deposit?

Wow the sly fox...Not even subtle about it.:eek:
 
tintin82 said:
One of my mates has been saving like crazy over the last 2 years to get a deposit together for his first house. This saving coincided with him meeting and getting engaged to this bird who is now moving in with him. He has tried to get her to contribute to the deposit (she is a well paid solicitor) but she blows her wage on £2.5k handbags on a regular basis! She has a flat in her name, yet will not contribute a penny to the soon to be marital home.

I shake my head and shudder when he tells me this, he nervously laughs it off saying 'she is just terrible with money'.

Love really is blind I guess.
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I'd like to say I feel sorry for him..But he's clearly being a chump.


I know someone who was Jobless....He lost his flat and moved in with one of his mates for a bit....This didn't work out and finally he found a GF who he moved in with for a bit...She lived alone and had a couple of young kids already.

Anyway few months later after trying desperately to find a job he was unsuccessful.And his GF basically turned around to him and said I don't love you any-more and I want you to leave..

"You're constantly on that computer, you're a Lazy fat slob, in fact if you don't move out I'll get my brothers to kick you out."

OK well fair enough...We see that he is just a free rider...

But what he didn't tell her was that he was working on apps for the App Store and was suddenly making loads of money...After a couple of months he came clean and told her. He said he now had enough money to buy his own house and would happily give her a few thousand for what she did to help him.


Guess what? She now wants desperately to marry him. He wants to move out and get a place of his own as she has told him many times she doesn't love him.. but he now feels guilty and is on the verge of saying yes...

She wants to buy her rented house with him. Get married and live happily ever after...

What is on the cards is that he buys her house...Gets married and 3 years down the line she fleeces him for all he's got thus keeping the house the new car etc..
 
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You are right, he is being a chump, and I think he knows that deep down. I think however he is settling for what he sees as the best he can. All his mates around him have settled down, having kids, while he is still the bachelor with an ever decreasing pool of bachelor mates.

Pains me when I see such a great guy walking headfirst into a minefield like this. Fast forward 10 years and I wouldn't be surprised he is out of his house, paying her maintenance for a kids he never really wanted as well.
 
easyrider said:
I'd like to say I feel sorry for him..But he's clearly being a chump.


I know someone who was Jobless....He lost his flat and moved in with one of his mates for a bit....This didn't work out and finally he found a GF who he moved in with for a bit...She lived alone and had a couple of young kids already.

Anyway few months later after trying desperately to find a job he was unsuccessful.And his GF basically turned around to him and said I don't love you any-more and I want you to leave..

"You're constantly on that computer, you're a Lazy fat slob, in fact if you don't move out I'll get my brothers to kick you out."

OK well fair enough...We see that he is just a free rider...

But what he didn't tell her was that he was working on apps for the App Store and was suddenly making loads of money...After a couple of months he came clean and told her. He said he now had enough money to buy his own house and would happily give her a few thousand for what she did to help him.


Guess what? She now wants desperately to marry him. He wants to move out and get a place of his own as she has told him many times she doesn't love him.. but he now feels guilty and is on the verge of saying yes...

She wants to buy her rented house with him. Get married and live happily ever after...

What is on the cards is that he buys her house...Gets married and 3 years down the line she fleeces him for all he's got thus keeping the house the new car etc..
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Shes after one thing and that's his money. Massive gold digger.
 
tintin82 said:
You are right, he is being a chump, and I think he knows that deep down. I think however he is settling for what he sees as the best he can. All his mates around him have settled down, having kids, while he is still the bachelor with an ever decreasing pool of bachelor mates.

Pains me when I see such a great guy walking headfirst into a minefield like this. Fast forward 10 years and I wouldn't be surprised he is out of his house, paying her maintenance for a kids he never really wanted as well.
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No kidding.

A shame younger guys can't learn from those that gone before.

Unfortunately he seems like the type you're just not going to convince so let him crack on. It's his money to lose, not ours.

What I would do if I were him is buy a house on his name and put it in a trust. Shouldn't matter to her as she didn't save or contribute anything anyway. Both get to live there and when it goes pear shaped, she leaves with what she came in with. Nothing.
 
baz178 said:
I don't know not my money to ask that question.
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Dear god my boy. I've only read the first page of this thread and can already see that you need to go sit down with a towel over your head and think long and hard.

Hope it works out for you and you wise up.

Good luck
 
My God there's some cynical and bitter people here! By all means keep a clear head and and don't rush into things but at some point you have to make a full commitment, including trusting someone completely. Isn't that what people do prior to moving in / marrying each other? y'know figure each other out a little? I happen to put more into the deposit which I would get back if things ever went sour, however some of you sound like you have book keeping on your partner's toilet roll usage.
 
Moses said:
Isn't that somewhat naive when 42% of marriages fail? and you say people should just figure each other out... what proportion of that 42% rushed into things/didn't think they were completely in love and expecting nothing to go wrong?
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Did I not say "don't rush into things"? so I'm not sure what your point is?

I read that stat as 58% of couples got it right.
 
if she has not saved anything and has "issues" saving money, you will live the rest of your life paying for everything and not have any money, and then if you split up she gets half of everything, **** that
 
postbox said:
It wasn't to be taken literally.
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I know but no one has really mentioned personal spending in a relationship in this thread.

We are talking about the bigger picture on life changing events when buying a house or moving in with someone.

There is a huge difference with buying the meals out all the time over not pulling your weight in deposit building etc...
 
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