Bumped into an old friend today...

Jamesyboyjim

Jamesyboyjim

Jamesyboyjim

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Walking to Tesco on my lunch break to grab a bag of McCoys, somebody asked me for some change, I looked up, recognised the scruffy dirty guy looking at me, it was someone I used to be friends with at school, he recognised me too and we got talking.

He told me how he developed a drug habit and lost everything including his flat, how he was homeless apart from a friends sofa and has resorted to begging. I didn't have any change to give him (I didn't want to fund his drug habit anyway) but I offered to buy him some food, he said seeing me was like a blessing and a highlight and he said when he sorts himself out maybe we could have a beer together.

I told him to use his friends address as a base to look for a job and tried to advise him to keep away from anyone who'd drag him down and keep going to his drug councillor.

He remembered where I used to live but I told him I no longer lived there (is it wrong of me, I don't want him turning up at my door)

Other than best of luck and do you want me to buy you some food, I didn't know what else to say to him, I know from experience with my sister and the company she keeps drug addicts tend to lie, steal, latch on to whoever they might get something from and tend to owe money to all sorts of undesirable types so I really don't want much to do with him (the drug in question is heroin), I feel guilty about this but at the same time I know its what's best for me, my family and my other half.

Not even really trying to ask a question on here, just writing down my thoughts and to see what others think I guess, just thought its crazy how peoples lives turn out.
 
Sounds like you did the right thing to me. Offered some food and advice and followed your own advice of not letting anyone drag you down.
 
Things happen to people and they fall off the road, maybe something bad happened to him to start his drug addiction. However there's not really much more you can do. Offering to buy him food was a good move (rather than giving him money) did he take up the offer?

I don't blame you for lying to him about where you lived, best he did not turn up as a surprise guest.

I hope things work out for him and you both get that beer.
 
If he's destitute as he says he is it makes you wonder how he funds a drug habit. Heroin isn't cheap. He must be entitled to some form of welfare so maybe he squanders that. People don't need to be homeless, there are housing schemes or even hostels where he would be accepted.
 
Horrible to say but you did the right thing, do not get involved. Druggies will screw you over the first chance they get.
 
You did the right thing, the last thing you need is him turning up uninvited.

Offering him food was a nice gesture, I hope he sorts himself out.
 
So many love to have sympathy for these people and by all means do, however you said it correct, they will rip you off, steal and abuse you, keep a careful distance and direct them to professional services if need be.
 
Without a doubt did right thing

A friend of mine has gotten stuck helping someone by being nice and is now at the unenviable point of wanting to say sod off and get some help but feeling if they do something bad will happen
 
Good thread, a real eye-opener.

I would perhaps keep some of your curtains closed over the next few weeks in case he calls your bluff! O.o Maybe some net curtains as they do offer some privacy without having to darken the rooms.
 
I reckon you did everything right. You offered him food and good advice and as you say, addicts can latch on and he could turn up causing you hassle. You could keep an eye out just in case.
 
Jamesyboyjim said:
Walking to Tesco on my lunch break to grab a bag of McCoys, somebody asked me for some change, I looked up, recognised the scruffy dirty guy looking at me, it was someone I used to be friends with at school, he recognised me too and we got talking.

He told me how he developed a drug habit and lost everything including his flat, how he was homeless apart from a friends sofa and has resorted to begging. I didn't have any change to give him (I didn't want to fund his drug habit anyway) but I offered to buy him some food, he said seeing me was like a blessing and a highlight and he said when he sorts himself out maybe we could have a beer together.

I told him to use his friends address as a base to look for a job and tried to advise him to keep away from anyone who'd drag him down and keep going to his drug councillor.

He remembered where I used to live but I told him I no longer lived there (is it wrong of me, I don't want him turning up at my door)

Other than best of luck and do you want me to buy you some food, I didn't know what else to say to him, I know from experience with my sister and the company she keeps drug addicts tend to lie, steal, latch on to whoever they might get something from and tend to owe money to all sorts of undesirable types so I really don't want much to do with him (the drug in question is heroin), I feel guilty about this but at the same time I know its what's best for me, my family and my other half.

Not even really trying to ask a question on here, just writing down my thoughts and to see what others think I guess, just thought its crazy how peoples lives turn out.
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To quote a wow guild name of "Crit Happens" to some people, just way life turns out. They get involved with wrong people make some bad decisions and end up in sticky situations.

Heroin is a horrible drug, **** you Bayer for inventing it.

Either way you did the right thing to be honest... like you said people involved with drugs tend to have a lot of undesirable qualities, doesn't make them evil human beings but that's what drugs do to you and that lifestyle. It turns you out.

You can't save him, and your feeling of guilt is normal and no you are not a bad person for lying to him about where you live.

There is nothing you can REALLY do anyway. If he's seeing a drug councillor that is the best course of action for him.
 
Sounds like you played it quite well, cant say i'd have played it differently.

Sad to hear he fell off the rails, but remember at some point he will have been offered heroin for the first time and answered yes, so you cant feel guilty for trying to protect yourself from any possible issues that may arise from his current lifestyle
 
You should have locked him up in your cellar and make him go cold turkey. It has numerous benefits, you cure him of his nasty druggy habit, give him shelter, food, lower crime rate and take money away from drug dealing scum, it's what Jesus would do (if he didn't have the power of healing)
 
I had a similar situation last year, driving down a road and saw an old school friend trotting along, pulled up and asked how he was doing, he was all good, going to the police station to hand himself in as he was wanted by them... asked if I minded taking him (it was raining)... so... yea I did, that was weird. Don't know how long hes down for or for what.
 
Fair play for offering him food and advice. Sounds harsh but he's not your problem. If he wants to get his life sorted, it's down to him. Sounds like he might be trying to do that so fair enough. Maybe go for a beer with him once he is in a better place and not such a liability.
 
Thanks for the words of wisdom ocuk!

As for locking someone up in a cellar, I honestly wish some type of charity offered this 'service'. My sister who is a long term drug addict is just so self defeated and refuses to do anything about her situation, nothing is her fault, the whole world is to blame for everything in her life.

If I could have her locked away until she's withdrawn completely from drugs I would, not sure if this would also change her infuriating and childish attitude though.
 
Jamesyboyjim said:
He remembered where I used to live but I told him I no longer lived there (is it wrong of me, I don't want him turning up at my door)
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No, not wrong. He's entitled to benefits and ought to be able to get temporary accommodation then eventually accommodation of his own too. It is one thing to let someone crash on your sofa for a few nights initially but there isn't any reason for them to be there beyond that, if he's already got a friend who's allowed that then he ought to be sorting out temporary accommodation for himself shortly else he's just taking advantage of his friend.
 
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