ignorant parents and misbehaving children How do you deal with them ?

2013

2013

2013

Soldato
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29 Dec 2012
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ignorant parents and misbehaving children How do you deal with them ?
Mainly when your related,

I dont know what to do, never having to deal with this up close, My normal reaction has always been to just walk away.


What would you do in this case or any other ?

This is my issue,

My brother has 4 kids all boys and all are misbehaved.
We are a close family so my brother's family is around mine a everyday but because my parents live with me and for them we put up with a lot, my brother is not around mine as much but when he is things do get better.

The youngest 2 are the worst, the 2nd youngest, has a tantrum inc swearing, shouting and crying every few hours, the youngest 4 year old shouts and cry every 5 mins till he can get or do what he want,

My sister in law enables the misbehavior and lets them get away with things she would never allow around her own house ( inc damaging items sofas, walls doors, playing football indoors, leave bikes in the living room) minor parts like bikes we can deal with but my sister in law is not easy to put up with if we say anything to the kids or her she makes a scene my father has said things in the past and she made a scene, he has now stopped bothering.

We cant do much as we dont want to start a argument over kids and knowing her attitude she would cause a big issue over even the smallest thing we bring up, my normal reaction has always been to is to just walk away or stay away when possible, I even have a room to go to.


I know we are also enabling this and should have put a foot down years ago but expecting things to get better we never did.


What would you do, ?
 
Speak to your brother about it, hopefully you're close enough that he will know where you're coming from. It's up to him to speak to the mother of the children, obviously if she's wearing the pants you're ******.

If that doesn't help, distance yourself from the behaviour.
 
obviously if she's wearing the pants you're ******.
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It may have been different 1-2 years ago but I think this may be the case now,
I think he's been broken. Now if she says jump he has to say how high, you can tell he's a changed man.
 
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Put your big boy pants on and tell your brother that he's welcome to come around as often as he does if his kids are behaving themselves within reason. If they're not then he's not.
 
[FnG]magnolia;29595533 said:
Put your big boy pants on and tell your brother that he's welcome to come around as often as he does if his kids are behaving themselves within reason. If they're not then he's not.
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This. Your home, your rules.
 
[FnG]magnolia;29595533 said:
Put your big boy pants on and tell your brother that he's welcome to come around as often as he does if his kids are behaving themselves within reason. If they're not then he's not.
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This is what will happen for sure, I just wanted to see what option other had.
 
Tosno said:
He's at the bottom betaisation curve, do all the children look like him?
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Even if he wears the pant, it would just cause problems at his house

I think to keep his family together (which I can understand), he does not laydown but he bends back a lot more.

even if he sides with me it will just cause him issues and arguments in his house which I don't want to be the cause of.

So I never go and do things like that.
 
Kids in my house follow my rules.

Family and friends, I will discipline their kids if needed and I would expect them to do the same. Children are raised by a family and a community, not just by their parents.

Anyone who doesn't like that can jog on.

I'd invite them all round, have a chat to both of them about it and tell them that under your roof it's your rules (i've used that exact line on my mum in my house), if they don't like it they aren't welcome and your parents can go to them to visit.

Don't be scared of the conflict, if she kicks off and stops coming round problem solved :D
 
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2013 said:
Even if he wears the pant, it would just cause problems at his house

I think to keep his family together (which I can understand), he does not laydown but he bends back a lot more.

even if he sides with me it will just cause him issues and arguments in his house which I don't want to be the cause of.

So I never go and do things like that.
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He can not wear the trousers ever again with her. All he can do is fight her attempts to disrespect him, in an effort to slow down their increase in severity.

If he wants to wear the pants and have the good times back, he has to cut his loses and find another woman.
 
Your house, your rules. If the kids aren't showing you any respect, and the parents let them, then they are treating you with contempt too. Make a big deal of it, cause a family rift and tell them they are not welcome if they don't control their kids under your roof. **** 'em if they are treating you like ****.
 
AHarvey said:
Kids in my house follow my rules.

Family and friends, I will discipline their kids if needed and I would expect them to do the same. Children are raised by a family and a community, not just by their parents.

Anyone who doesn't like that can jog on.

I'd invite them all round, have a chat to both of them about it and tell them that under your roof it's your rules (i've used that exact line on my mum in my house), if they don't like it they aren't welcome and your parents can go to them to visit.

Don't be scared of the conflict, if she kicks off and stops coming round problem solved :D
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I think this is what will need to happen, if they cant respect themselves they should atleast respect others, I've given them the time change and give kids some manners.

I will now need to say something, I just wanted to see how other guys deal with similar things.
 
Tosno said:
He can not wear the trousers ever again with her. All he can do is fight her attempts to disrespect him, in an effort to slow down their increase in severity.

If he wants to wear the pants and have the good times back, he has to cut his loses and find another woman.
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Its different when my brother is about, the kids behave a lot more, its just when he's not about.
 
2013 said:
Its different when my brother is about, the kids behave a lot more, its just when he's not about.
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Then the mother is letting them get away with it.

Both parents need to be on the same page and when they are being punished by one, the other had to let them see it through.

Usually this is down to being spoilt or letting them off punishment.
 
Before they leave challenge them each to a contest to see who can down a four pack of redbull the fastest.
 
I'm with the big pants brigade I'm afraid. But what's interesting is that everyone is worried about causing a fuss in case your sister in law has a tantrum. That seems to be the common factor here.
 
Has your brother ever actually seen what his own kids are like though? You say they don't really do it when he is there.

Video them, otherwise he might not believe they are as bad as you are making out.
 
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