Housemates girlfriend / boyfriend

Guest2

Guest2

Guest2

Soldato
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6 May 2009
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Does anyone else have a housemate that has a girlfriend or boyfriend that is constantly around your house? I don't mind it a 2 or 3 times a week but when its almost everyday it starts to grind on me.

I think its because my housemate has literally never stayed a single day / night around at his girlfriends house but she stays here constantly.

When I was seeing someone a year or so ago It was 50/50 and I started feeling bad staying at hers more and more (and think she felt the same)

Anyone else have housemates with biyfriend / girlfriends staying around to often thats starting to boil your ****?
 
Yes, ended up getting my own place eventually due to that and other small problems with housemates. It's more expensive but worth it in my opinion.
 
Do they use the front room or stay in their own room? If they are using the comunal space, then definately should be paying a larger share.
 
MooMoo444 said:
If she's round constantly, everyday as you say, then she should contribute to the stuff, y'know?
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That's all well and good, but if you are in a share with just 2, suddenly you are outnumbered!!! From experience, once you reach 22 or so, the money that's extra (as mentioned in an earlier post) really is worth it.. When I look back on my student days of 4+ years sharing, yes there were great times, but there were some seriously ugly ones too.. No way I could go back to sharing now..
 
Im not bothered about the communal space. More the bathroom being taken in the morning when im trying to get ready and cooker/hob being in use when im trying to cook. She did say something like this the other day "you need to get more cooking utensils" to which i replied "you need to cook at your house" ...she looked annoyed and stomped off
 
Aside from the issues with shower and cooking space, is it unpleasant having her around? I'm guessing that it isn't (or wasn't, until you made that snippy remark).

Given that she's presumably paying full bills at another place and the amount of extra it is costing to have her in your place is minimal I'd let the cash part of things go personally. Obviously if she's essentially living there then it's a different matter and perhaps something that needs to be discussed.

However, I think the more important thing is to discuss what's really causing you a genuine issue - i.e. showering in the morning, cooking, other communal area stuff. It's possible to discuss this without it turning into a massive drama, especially if you don't discuss money at the same time. Just approach her and your housemate, apologies for snapping and explain the issues with communal areas. Ask if there's some way you can all reach a compromise. You're not being a pushover by doing this and you very likely will make your life easier in the short and medium term.

After things have settled down a bit you can then approach about money if you decide that it's an issue.
 
Yep it ended up badly, with her moving in, me complaining. Him being a dick then a a little scuffle.
She was a **** though. Came home to find her watching crap on tv when he wasnt there and just making a mess etc.
 
put yourself in the other persons shoes, how would you feel if you had a significant other and your housemate was being rude to her despite the fact you pay rent and bills to be there...
 
Guest2 said:
Does anyone else have a housemate that has a girlfriend or boyfriend that is constantly around your house? I don't mind it a 2 or 3 times a week but when its almost everyday it starts to grind on me.

I think its because my housemate has literally never stayed a single day / night around at his girlfriends house but she stays here constantly.

When I was seeing someone a year or so ago It was 50/50 and I started feeling bad staying at hers more and more (and think she felt the same)

Anyone else have housemates with biyfriend / girlfriends staying around to often thats starting to boil your ****?
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Does her presence reinforce your loneliness?
 
Rich1988 said:
put yourself in the other persons shoes, how would you feel if you had a significant other and your housemate was being rude to her despite the fact you pay rent and bills to be there...
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Would you be using other people's stuff and staying over when the person you are meant to be seeing isn't there, and didn't ask you to do them a favour such as collect a delivery for them whilst out?

She's a guest and should act like one, she doesn't live there, and neither is she entitled to anything regardless of her relationship with the flatmate.
 
Rich1988 said:
put yourself in the other persons shoes, how would you feel if you had a significant other and your housemate was being rude to her despite the fact you pay rent and bills to be there...
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I have been in the other persons shoes. When I was seeing someone I would be around her house as much as she was at mine - I saw it as fair that way and also not getting in the way of my housemates.

I get on with my housemates girlfriend fine but when she starts staying over almost all week and neither of them say anything on the lines of "do you mind that she / I stays over or stays around here" then it sort of feels like taking the ***REMOVED*** a bit.

End of the day I suppose I can just move out
 
I would be annoyed about the shower thing alone. I'm minding my own business, getting ready for work, only to arrive 20 minutes late because someone was hogging the shower. Then I get pulled up by my boss because it starts to become regular. Yes there will be replies to my post saying "why not just wash your face in the downstairs loos?" Nope, I'm the type where I have to shower every morning or it doesn't feel right.
 
Pawnless Endgame said:
I would be annoyed about the shower thing alone. I'm minding my own business, getting ready for work, only to arrive 20 minutes late because someone was hogging the shower. Then I get pulled up by my boss because it starts to become regular. Yes there will be replies to my post saying "why not just wash your face in the downstairs loos?" Nope, I'm the type where I have to shower every morning or it doesn't feel right.
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I would want to shower every morning too. That said, I'd still speak to the person involved to try to remedy the situation.

People often don't think..and also don't magically know everything you know. Simply making them aware of a situation can help.
 
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