Funny things kids say

Guru

Guru

Guru

Soldato
Joined
8 Jun 2005
Posts
5,275
Hi all,

My kids come out with some absolutely classic stuff, without even meaning to be they are hilarious.

My daughter came out with this yesterday after I made them a den in their room.

Me: "How is the den"

Her: "Good like a bountiful penis"

Could not believe it lol

She's six!.

Turns out the Simpsons Movie may not have been a great idea.

It also turns out that on the parents guide in IMDB when it says "Spoilers!Spoilers!Spoilers!Spoilers!Spoilers!Spoilers!" you can hover your mouse over it and it shows more text! doh!

Cheers,

G
 
My son did a rather witty/honest observation a few years ago.

We were at Butlins for the day, middle of summer. A rather large lady was standing in front of us and was wearing a very tight fitting white top - I believe the term would be a muffin top, most of her body has begun to emigrate south and my son, as honest and naive as children are said :-

"Daddy that woman looks like a snowman melting" - loud enough for her to hear and deadpan enough for me to fail miserably at stifling the smile and chuckle as she turned around with a gob full of a Burger King feast.

I had to get the wife to explain why as I was hit by a very bad cause of the giggles.
 
The missus teaches year 2 at a primary school and some of the work she brings home is comedy gold! I've got a few NSFW pics of stories they've written with accidental C bombs and unfortunate drawings.
 
Over the road having dinner on Friday with neighbors. The guy is ok, his Mrs is stay at home, high maintenance, looks down at most people type.

Home made Fish pie served. I know this isn't going to go down well with my 2 year old girl.

She immediately pushes it away. "I don't want it, it's yucky, and it's got poo in it".

Que death look from lady :D.
 
JOSH86 said:
My son did a rather witty/honest observation a few years ago.

We were at Butlins for the day, middle of summer. A rather large lady was standing in front of us and was wearing a very tight fitting white top - I believe the term would be a muffin top, most of her body has begun to emigrate south and my son, as honest and naive as children are said :-

"Daddy that woman looks like a snowman melting" - loud enough for her to hear and deadpan enough for me to fail miserably at stifling the smile and chuckle as she turned around with a gob full of a Burger King feast.

I had to get the wife to explain why as I was hit by a very bad cause of the giggles.
Click to expand...

haha brilliant!!!

That reminds me of when I was at KFC with my son and he goes "Why do all the black people eat at KFC?"

Awkward doesn't even come close.
 
Driving with my son in the back, playing on his Vita.. LEGO game..

James: Dad look at this.

Me: I cannot, I'm driving.

James: I just want to show you something.

Me: In a few mins James, I am driving.

James: Just look with one eye dad, look..

Almost 4 and he has me in bits with his logic sometimes :D
 
On saturday...

Daughter : Daddy how do you get a sperm in your hair ?

Me : *blank look*

Daughter : A Sperm daddy ! in your hair

Me : *blinks* A what ?

Daughter : To make it curly !!

Me : PERM !! you mean a PERM !!
 
Can I sidetrack with a 'parents do odd things' story. Yesterday I was in a restaurant, ordered my dinner. I was on my own (on holiday) and sat at a table for two. A couple sat down at the table next to me with their child. They dismantled the pram so they could store it and not clutter up the area too much. They then sat their child on the floor in his basket as if it was a normal thing to do! :confused: I thought that the baby would be more likely to be knocked / stood on on the floor than in his pram so asked if they wanted to set him on the chair opposite me so that he would in my opinion be safer. They acted as if I'd done the kindest thing in the world. But it just seemed like common sense to me!
 
One from my 9 year old neice the other day whilst in Superdrug as she walked past one of the counters with her mom, "Why would anyone want a vibrating ring?"
 
In the chip shop getting an easy tea, I ask No1 daugher what she'd like.

No1D "Can I have a [what John Snow is] sausage?"
Me "... A battered sausage? Of course! :D"
 
I went to collect my son from after-school club when he was 5 or 6 years old. The woman who managed it was called Leoni and had that really dark black skin common to people with central African heritage. However, the actual day-to-day stuff was overseen by a white lady so my son had never met Leoni. My son and I happened to bump into her one day (not long after he'd apparently done some school work about Africa and it's peoples) and I said "Hi" and she also said "Hi" (by name) to my son (she knew him from records etc). My son then turned to me and said "Dad, how does this African know my name?" Luckily, Leoni thought it was hysterical.
 
In the chip shop getting an easy tea, I ask No1 daugher what she'd like.

No1D "Can I have a [what John Snow is] sausage?"
Me "... A *battered* sausage? Of course! :D"
 
I've heard a kid shout this at someone in the street once, not me I hasten to add.

"**** off you pedo ****"
 
When taken to the supermarket by his mum, my brother in law would wait until she was getting something down from the shelves and claim to passers-by that he'd been kidnapped. Every time.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom