Anxiety/worrying

Rudeboy1

Rudeboy1

Rudeboy1

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Hello guys,

Not sure if you would call this anxiety? Basically I worry about pretty much everything on a daily basis, could be things at work such as, where I've messed something up and thinking i'm going to get the sack or not wanting to go to certain places/restaurants incase I see certain people and even though most of the time things turn out to be okay, something else will come up and always sit in the back of my mind.

Just wondering if anyone else is the same and what they do to help ignore it?

I try to tell myself, if it's not going to matter in 5 months, don't spend longer than 5 minutes worrying about it!

I know this may sound petty to some people, but it's one thing I find really hard to deal with.

Just thought I could make a thread to discuss things with everyone!

Not meaning to bring doom & gloom to people's day :D
 
I used to be exactly the same. It took me a long time to drill it into my mind that everyone worries about all kinds of things, and that in the end, the worrying is often lot worse than the actual outcome.
 
Best decision I've made to combat anxiety is looking after myself. I forget now it even existed. I just worry about small calves now.
 
I think this very very common. I "suffer" from this also, and find myself worrying a lot, particularly about what people think of me or say about me. I am 32, I appear fairly confident, I am quite a good laugh at times.

I have over recent years slipped into periods of depression. I'm kind of in the middle of one at the moment. This makes my anxiety worse.

I have some social anxiety too. As an example, this evening I have a wedding reception/party to go to. I've been apprehensive for about 3 weeks thinking about this. I settle down once there probably although still not feel 100% comfortable and relaxed.

I'm not sure of what advice to give you, as I struggle myself with this. I recently did start to think about seeking counselling - I had some around 6 years ago over a period of several months and found it really helped me get out of a period of depression.

Good luck OP
 
Turn a negative into a positive - worrying about everything means you have the potential for great attention to detail. A useful skill in the world of work. Even better if you can identify problems early and potential solutions.
 
Attention to detail is my major anxiety problem. Literally lose sleep, appetite and lifes joys worrying about work. Nothing to worry about really but like things done right (my way). I even dread holidays as im not making sure work runs right. I am tapped in the head :-( .
 
I suffer from this a lot.

Things which I worry about ;
  • Performance at work
  • Whether or not I've interacted with people effectively enough (mainly at work)
  • Whether I've spoken to people nicely enough or offended them (this often results in me being overly polite to people, even when they are being unpleasant or patronising towards me).
  • The perception others hold of me
  • Whether I've locked my front door
  • Leaving appliances turned on and coming back to a burnt out house

At 35 years old, I doubt that I'll ever be able to shake this off. I am highly neurotic and have OCD tendencies. I also went through a period of suffering from false memory OCD (eg thinking I'd punched someone when walking out of the office).

I suspect that my anxiety and nervousness stem from my childhood - my Dad was a very aggressive and overbearing person and had a violent temper too. Thankfully I have not inherited those character traits, though I am not going to have children in case I ever become like that, or impose my own negative character traits onto my child.

None of the above has stopped me from being successful job wise, though I do wonder what my life would be like without being a hyper-anxious, OCD nutter!
 
mindfulness as mentioned above, in addition to the book there are things like the headspace app you can get on your phone

I also joined a yoga/meditation group which has the additional side effect of being quite a nice social thing to be involved with too. Not that you should use yoga to pick up women, that would be pretty cringe-worthy if a primary aim but you will likely make new friends.

lastly, if it is still causing problems, you can always see your GP and get prescribed something for a bit to help deal with it
 
More people suffer from this than you think it's just that we don't like to talk about personal issues so everyone pretends they're fine and that's why you feel alone in your fears. I suffer with it to the point I get very little done. I worry if someone gives me instructions to do something I might not have heard them properly and do it wrong.

There are loads of self help books out there. It's just about facing your worry and working through it.
 
I used to be pretty bad especially in my 20s. A lot of it was a lack of life experience I think.

However, this might come off as controversial but although I lacked confidence and was a worrier I recon I had a bit of an ego on me too. Basically when you spend too much time in your own head and not in the moment you develop a kind of narcissism. This is an ego that is self protective and tends to adversely effect you more than others. But basically it tells you that you're important and need special treatment and protection.

It's quite hard to explain, but a lot of getting over my anxiety was about telling myself to man the **** up and stop being so self obsessed. The best advice I can give you is put yourself in the difficult situations because 9/10 they turn out to be positive and not negative. Sometimes the fear can turn into a buzz if you can learn to enjoy it.

Keep a diary of your fears before an event then report back afterwards and compare the two. You will be surprised.

Remember nobody ever solved anything by worrying, it is useless, only actions in the real world effect anything. Also the world doesn't revolve around you.
 
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I am a very bit stressor. I find it gets better with age, just dont turn to alcohol. Fear of failure I think can cause a daily stress on you
 
MookJong said:
I used to be pretty bad especially in my 20s. A lot of it was a lack of life experience I think.

However, this might come off as controversial but although I lacked confidence and was a worrier I recon I had a bit of an ego on me too. Basically when you spend too much time in your own head and not in the moment you develop a kind of narcissism. This is an ego that is self protective and tends to adversely effect you more than others. But basically it tells you that you're important and need special treatment and protection.

It's quite hard to explain, but a lot of getting over my anxiety was about telling myself to man the **** up and stop being so self obsessed. The best advice I can give you is put yourself in the difficult situations because 9/10 they turn out to be positive and not negative. Sometimes the fear can turn into a buzz if you can learn to enjoy it.

Keep a diary of your fears before an event then report back afterwards and compare the two. You will be surprised.

Remember nobody ever solved anything by worrying, it is useless, only actions in the real world effect anything. Also the world doesn't revolve around you.
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Great post. A lot of that resonates with me also. I'm focusing more on the people around me and the things I need to do rather than how it makes me feel, which seems to be giving me a much more positive outlook and direction in my life.
 

I find this helps.

Looking back on my life, sadly im 40 now, i can identify with times like this.
Stop trying to please everyone, if you do.
99% of people go through the same stuff as you, some hide it better.
Worrying is completely pointless. If something is in your power to change then you can try. If you don't want to try then that's a whole nother ballgame. :D
 
twist3d0n3 said:
Great post. A lot of that resonates with me also. I'm focusing more on the people around me and the things I need to do rather than how it makes me feel, which seems to be giving me a much more positive outlook and direction in my life.
Click to expand...

Very cool to hear that someone can identify with that and I love the way you put it. "Focus on the people and things you need to do and not how it makes me feel". That is it basically.

The problem for me with a lot of self help and sitting reading about how to get over anxiety is that it makes you even more introspective. The best thing is to stop second guessing and just "see what happens". Speculative thinking can be highly addictive, trying to guess how a situation will play out before it happens is like a form of control and comes back to the ego thing.
 
Also one thing I haven't seen mentioned is - if it gets really bad don't be afraid to seek help... I went through a period a year or so ago of extreme anxiety and panic at work and in general, but kept telling myself it was nothing and eventually it had gotten so bad it was making me miserable and having an affect on all sorts of things...

Unfortunately things like this are sometimes just going to happen - chemical imbalance in the brain and all that... there doesn't even need to be a cause (certainly in my case I was enjoying life, happy with my job, no major sources of stress etc. I could identify)... In the end after trying some counselling and mind-fullness type stuff I was still struggling so now am (slightly reluctantly) on medication which just takes the edge off as I try to work through it...

My only other advice would be talk to people you know about it, as uncomfortable as it seems. It can help just knowing that those around you know what the situation is...

Nothing to be ashamed of - best of luck to you :)
 
Thank you guys! Yes locking doors is one I struggle with too, always checking the handles 3/4 times to make sure they are locked!

Definitely going to check that book out, even though I'm not a reader, I'll pick it up!

Type of person I am, I would never speak to people face to face about how I am feeling, I always say I'm fine no matter what, hence why posting on here for a bit of advice, but thanks guys, means a lot:D
 
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