What is the most freakish accident you have ever had?

At Reading festival when I was 16 I jumped up and down on our campfire at the end of the weekend (yes it was unlit and had been for a day or so) but unfortunately a glass bottle had been placed next to it which, when I stepped off the campfire I managed to step on and it broke. A shard of glass went into the side of my foot which I had to sterilise with Vodka and stem the bleeding with toilet roll. Needless to say the journey home was rather uncomfortable and I still have a noticeable scar 17 years later.

Another one was when I was about 12. I had a swing that had broken but we'd tied the 2 ropes of the swing together, forming a loop at about head height. I was chasing my next door neighbour who ran past this loop causing it to swing back and as I got to it, it caught under my chin and I basically garrotted myself. It only caused a rope burn but everyone at school during the next week was a bit concerned that I had tried to hang myself.
 
Probably at primary school.

Was chasing my friend through the playground into the side playground, which has a smallish metal gate in between, he decided to close the gate to try stop me not realising how close I was. Top of the gate was level with my forehead so hit me flat in my face.

Never seen so much blood appear so quickly :eek:

EDIT: I lied, I went ice skating 3 years back and stupidly tripped myself up and spun, cracked the side of my eyebrow on the ice... lots of blood everywhere!
 
smogsy said:
got used to it now days. got high pain threshold because of it :D

i forgot the time i ran to work and landed on my arm, worked for 3 hours till my boss forced me to hospital, broke my elbow & wrist...
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Whilst it's clear you've been cursed by a gypsy witch (sorry, entrepreneurial, heather wholesaling mystic), I do get the whole "I'm not going to the hospital mentality. I was picking up the shards of a broken glass candle jar and managed to swipe my hand across it, I just shoved a plaster on it until I got to work where a colleague who happens to be a trained nurse suggested I go to A&E. Put it off for another two hours until the badgering got too much, even then I called every medical centre below the acute hospitals in an effort to avoid going to A&E, even minor injury units don't like dealing with hand wounds. Turns out gashes around the knuckles are quite serious due to the tendons in the area, had to have an xray before getting stitched up.

Would have been much happier if they'd just left me alone to fashion a dressing out of napkins and selotape though. Interfering busy bodies.
 
Grating on the edge of a swimming pool collapsed and I nearly fell in one of the suction pipes. Saved by a woman who was too fat and got wedged but managed to grab my hand. Water park in Tenerife somewhere. Was 6 at the time.
 
Removing concrete plinths/base after heavy machine was uninstalled, I was cutting out the steel re-enforcing bars, when I stood one I'd just cut, went clean through boot and foot. I didn't realise until I went to move and my foot didn't move. Got a Tetanus Jab thats all. no, stitches. Was like a scalpel apparently. Wasn't really that painful, then or since. Just aches now and then.
 
I was trimming my pubes with one of those hand blenders (as you do) when a small piece of hair went up my nose and made me sneeze violently.
 
when i was around 9 i broke my arm and had to have a plate and 6(4?) screws in my forearm. left a scar around 3/4 inches. Anywho, went on holiday a few weeks later (Caloose Caravan Park in Cornwall) riding my pushbike over a speedbump really fast, tankslapper on landing, came off the bike and re-opened the scar. MUch blood. Think it knocked my dad physically sick while my mom cleaned it up and covered it up :(
Wasn't allowed back out on my bike that day :p
 
- Way back in nursery, I was running around like a nutter and managed to smack my face on an exposed nail - right between my eyes. It needed stitches and I still have a slight scar. These days, that'd probably be a compo claim.

- Age 7 or so, I managed to poke myself in the eye with a screwdriver and had to wear an eye patch for ages. No lasting damage.

- Age 14 or so, we were at a mate's house at lunchtime and he was messing about with a home made blowdart. He was aiming at the cushion I was holding in front of my face, but he was taking bloody ages to fire it, so I lowered it, and of course, that's when he fired the dart which went through my upper eyelid and right into my eyeball. I pulled it out by the 'flight' (a bit of plastic bag) and it had missed the iris by about a millimeter and was so close that the colour actually leaked into the hole.
The eye hospital did a load of digging around to make sure there were no metal fragments or anything, but it miraculously turned out fine.

- Age 15, I slid for the base in a game of baseball and when I got up, my wrist was snapped into a new shape. Scared the living **** out of me!
Had it put into a wrist to elbow length cast under general anesthetic, but a week later, I could slide the cast up and down slightly and feel the broken bones rocking back and forth, so back under I go to have it pinned together with a cast up to my armpit. Fun times.
 
Went over to see my mum as she had family visiting, wife had agreed to drive which meant I could have a few beers. We all went out to the local pub, much beer was consumed by all with the exception of my wife who wasn't feeling great so had decided to stay at my mums and have a sleep. It got fairly late so I decided to walk back to my mums, wake the wife and go home.

On the way out of my mums, we step off the front doorstep and the wife goes down like a sack of spuds. As soon as I look at her I can see something is wrong and her foot's pointing the wrong way. Broken and dislocated ankle, practically bed ridden for 6 months, still can't walk without discomfort to this day. Still not really got any idea how it even happened. Moral of the story, never be the sensible sober one!

Oh and I've also nearly lost my left eye on 3 seperate occasions:

1) Don't remember anything of it as I was only a toddler but apparently I was chasing a ball around the living room and ran into a glass door. Put my head through it, much blood, scar above my eye.

2) At primary school during break, playing with a friend. There was a round brick incinerator, we were running around it, I think we were driving toy cars around the wall. Round incinerator had a square grate on top of it. Ran into the corner, much blood stiches in my eyelid and another scar.

3) At high school on a trip of some kind, other kids were throwing stones at each other. I get hit square in the middle of the lens on my terribly fashionable 80s wrap around shades. Would have been more than a scar had I not been wearing them.
 
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Flying down a steep grass hill on a quad bike straight into a pebble dashed wall. Woke up beside it with the engine still running minus one trainer :o
 
When I was 12 or 13 I managed to get stabbed in the leg by a car.

At the end of my road there is a big wall and we used to play cricket or squash against it. The house opposite used to do stock car racing and had a car outside covered. I was bowling and I ran up and caught the edge of the car which turned out to be covered as it was a wreck with lots of bits sticking out and one of those bits had stabbed me in the upper thigh. The metal went about 2 inches into my leg and resulted in 12 stitches. The really freaky thing was the tracksuit bottoms I was wearing never had a mark on them!
 
Last week I was cutting a cable tie with scissors while on the phone. Cue cable tie breaking and open scissors going into my left hand between my thumb and index finger. Fortunately higher than the tendons. Went to hospital as it hadn't stopped bleeding and ended up being operated on a couple of days later. Still in a dressing and stitches come out on Tuesday. Week and a bit off work for one cable tie!
 
Oh yeah, I managed to slice through about 70% of the tendon in my left thumb when forcing a tin into the recycling bin a few weeks ago :o
Was fun watching the surgeon stitch it back together. I say fun...
 
As a child, I decided to test if the iron was hot by placing my hand flat against it.

It was.
 
1982 I fell off a Tarmac'ing machine and bashed my head a bit so was bandaged up and given Aspirin, then it turned out I'm hugely allergic to Aspirin and went into Anaphylactic shock which meant a 3 week stay in Hospital.

1991 I was being chased down the corridor by the school bully and the Prefect manning the double doors to the playground had just bolted one of them shut, which just happened to be the door I ran into at full speed! I went through most of the top half of the wire infused safety glass, breaking my nose and left knee cap (which has never been right since), while the metal grid in the glass sliced the rest of my face to bits so I looked like Hellraiser with grid shape cut marks!

2003 I fell over my own feet whilst playing football and landed on my own fist breaking 3 ribs.

Not bad considering!
 
On holiday got a small sea urchins needle trapped under my eyelid somehow after playing in the sea. Eye was fine just felt like i had a huge eyelash stuck in there for 30 minutes.
 
When I was a boy, the front wheel on my bike locked up for some reason (I never did find out why) and I went over the handlebars...and landed on my feet, running. I was completely unhurt and didn't even fall over. Pure luck and instinct. I didn't even realise what had happened until afterwards.

The worst of it was that nobody saw me, so I didn't have the chance to pretend I did it deliberately and impress other kids. I would have been famous for weeks with that.

A few years back, I moved a light chair and somehow managed to break one of my little toes with it. That was a freak accident. The chair was made from tubing with a small cushioned seat on it. It weighed very little.
 
Picked up a blowtorch by the hot end just seconds after someone had put it down.

Fell onto a hollow plastic tube that went through the top of my mouth and stopped just short of killing me.

Cutting carrots... didnt stop when reaching fingers.

Gas bottle exploded making my entire arm look like grilled chicken.

Someone running with scissors, fell, I put my hand out to catch them, scissors through hand.

Angilion said:
managed to break one of my little toes with it.
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Ive broken my little toes so often I don't even go to see a doctor or anything anymore unless it doesn't go back in the right direction easily, just get some medical tape and a bandage and just stick it to the toe next to it.
 
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kindai said:
Ive broken my little toes so often I don't even go to see a doctor or anything anymore unless it doesn't go back in the right direction easily, just get some medical tape and a bandage and just stick it to the toe next to it.
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Which is what I did. The first time I injured my foot I went to A&E. I'd got up to pee in the middle of the night and got a protruding pipe from shoddy plumbing jammed between my toes. A&E was the only place open at that time and I had no idea how serious the injury was. The second time, with the chair, I knew it was a broken little toe so I did what they did in A&E the first time - strap it to the toe next to it. Nothing else useful to be done.

I was surprised after the first time to find out how much toes are used in walking, even the little one.
 
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