Sister emotionally blackmailed away mums pension

oh damn, forgot one important point!!!!!

My mum and dad have got a lodger living with them. He's polish, he's actually a decent bloke. Works on video games doing the english to polish translations.
I guess that was to bring in extra money.
 
TheOracle said:
oh what a mess....I might actually ring mum this afternoon for a chat
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maybe gently tell her that you know what's going on and you feel you must intervene to put a stop to it. she's probably got to a place where, like the failed gambler, she's throwing good money after bad in an attempt to protect the house they bought your sister.
something's got to give, for your sake and your parents I hope it's not their relationship or health that gives!
 
You'll probably find they have mountains of credit card debt and loans...

I just found out my sister has nearly 30K debt. She doesn't own any property so she might just go bankrupt.

My parents certainly aren't bailing her out.
 
Sometimes the only way to make people see light is for **** to hit the fan.

Tell your dad and they need to sort themselves out and it might take hitting rock bottom for that to happen.

People shouldn’t go into owning their own homes until they have tried living on their own first and sorting out finances. Its a huge investment.

If your sister cant hold down a full time job for long periods of time i would not have thought she would be on the mortgage especially if they do have debt.

In the short term your going to look loke the bad guy but you’ll be doing everyone a favour.
 
Thought my sister was going to go down this road but around 31-32 or so she started taking a lot more responsibility.
 
Well I'm really pleased I saw that email. Tried ringing mum, she's not at home. Calendar says "go to bank for xxxxx"
Jesus Christ!!!!!

Got her on the mobile. They are taking the lazy husband to a hospital appointment.
 
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You need to sit your mum down, tell her to cancel anything she's paying for them and cancel and commitments to giving them money. Tell her you'll have her corner when the useless ***** inevitably ask what's going on, and tell her that if she doesn't do it, you're telling dad what's going on and she can answer to him then.

Do this today.
 
Two options.

1) Do nothing. Unfortunately your parents allowed this to happen to them

2) Go nuts (possibly whilst drunk) let the cat out of the bag, tell everyone exactly what you think of them.

2 might lead to you falling out with your parents (never good) however I would rather that then burying my head in the sand. But that's just me.
 
Difficult one.
You need to sit down with your Mum and Dad and discuss with them what you know. Mum already knows so it wont be a surprise but Dad will probably be pretty upset that its been kept from him.
suggestions welcome! said:
You need to sit your mum down, tell her to cancel anything she's paying for them and cancel and commitments to giving them money. Tell her you'll have her corner when the useless ***** inevitably ask what's going on, and tell her that if she doesn't do it, you're telling dad what's going on and she can answer to him then.

Do this today.
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Dad needs to know.
Talk to Mum first, explain your concerns and tell her that you are going to tell Dad together. He needs to know.
 
You have to be careful with situations like these as it can easily be manipulated by others and then you're seen as the bad guy esp in situations involving women as some people excuse their behavior regardless what they do.
 
G J said:
You have to be careful with situations like these as it can easily be manipulated by others and then you're seen as the bad guy.
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Christ, yeah, tread carefully.

Saying that, you need to grab your mum and dad and have a sit down with them to make sure they're on the same page.

Sounds like your mum needs a little bit of sense talked into her (not in a cruel way, but she's blinded by love for her children) and your dad might be that voice of reason if given the chance. Having you around while that happens might also make sure the conversation doesn't get too out of hand with blame being put on your mum.

I think a lot of people forget as well that parents don't get infinitely wiser with age, if anything it starts going the exact opposite much sooner than you might think.

My partner is mid twenties and used to constantly feel like imposter when involved in "adult" conversations, feeling like didn't have the experience to understand the decisions the adults around her were making. Slowly I've helped her realise she isn't stupid and, if anything, the reason she could never make sense of what her parents and older members of her family were saying because they had such nonsensical ideas and ultimately uninformed and bigoted opinions about things.
 
Your sister sounds like a sociopath, both from her greed and inability to hold down a job, and from the sound of it she has no personal code of honour to replace her conscience She will bleed your parents dry ans you'll end up picking up the pieces unless you step in, or if your also a sociopath then just walk away and let them all burn.
 
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