Sister emotionally blackmailed away mums pension

WOW What a pair! They sound like a guy I work with and his scumbag missus. Both parasites, she is constantly getting a job, losing a job, getting a job losing a job because she is a lazy cow and they spend more time texting each other than they do actually working.

Anyway, You HAVE to tell your mum to stop giving her money immediately. Your sister and her bloke are taking advantage of your parents. The sooner it stops the better. She will put them in an early grave!
 
Mattyjw said:
Is your parents money kept separate or has your mum been spending everything they have, your dad must know if so.
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My dad is the type that lets mum look after the finances. I really hope not, but it's not impossible that it's my dads pension she's been spending. He's retired you see and already has his pension cashed out.

It was a good one as he worked for the prison service.
 
Did your sister always get her way when you were children?

Sometimes I think to myself I’m a bit of an arse, then I read about people like this and I think I’m slightly less of an arse.
 
Mason- said:
Did your sister always get her way when you were children?

Sometimes I think to myself I’m a bit of an arse, then I read about people like this and I think I’m slightly less of an arse.
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I think she has mental health issues.......every time I see her she has a new illness and a reason why she's off work. If something happened to her in the past to cause this, I don't know about it.

Can't think if she always got her own way, but she's the type to give up easily. If she faces a difficult task in life she asks for help, and if she can't get help she gives in.

Don't want to keep bad mouthing her, but she's pregnant and lives on full sugar ribena. Now I'm no health expert, but I wouldn't have thought that was too good for the baby. When I say she lives on it, I mean she drinks it like water......she doesn't like water so drinks that instead.
 
TheOracle said:
I think she has mental health issues.......every time I see her she has a new illness and a reason why she's off work. If something happened to her in the past to cause this, I don't know about it.

Can't think if she always got her own way, but she's the type to give up easily. If she faces a difficult task in life she asks for help, and if she can't get help she gives in.
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Perhaps, I don't know and I don't want to offend you either. But are there times when mental health issues are misdiagnosed laziness (and conversely where laziness is misdiagnosed as mental health issues)?

I can't fathom treating my parents this way, and you can't either which leads me to believe that perhaps it wasn't your parents parenting but perhaps it is mental health issues, that or they held different standards for the pair of you. Is there a large age gap between you and your sister? Perhaps she justifies her actions towards your parents by blaming them for her life issues?
 
Mason- said:
Perhaps, I don't know and I don't want to offend you either. But are there times when mental health issues are misdiagnosed laziness (and conversely where laziness misdiagnosed mental health issues)?

I can't fathom treating my parents this way, and you can't either which leads me to believe that perhaps it wasn't your parents parenting but perhaps it is mental health issues, that or they held different standards for the pair of you. Is there a large age gap between you and your sister? Perhaps she justifies her actions towards your parents by blaming them for her life issues?
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only 18 months between us

same school, same secondary school, same college

parents have always been together, grew up in a nice small village

sounds like the perfect family
 
First thing I'd have done it blocked your sisters email in your mums account, or put a rule in to forward emails to myself. Sneaky but necessary.

Secondly, and this is going to be very very hard for you, it's time to be the parents to your parents. You need to take a drink round, sit down with them and tell them what you've seen, you need to ask them what is going on, ask them what finances they have, what they've got invested in the house etc. Ask them about their relationship and more importantly, what are they planning for the future.

Your sister sounds like a parasite and her husband a complete waste of skin.

Once you've got an understanding of the current situation, you need to make them realise that if they don't stop supporting her it's going to leave them with nothing, and she will never ever learn to stand on her own. Worst part is, they'll end up supporting the grandkids because their parents are useless.

People just accept the way things are until someone comes along and makes them realise that this isn't right. I'd also get used to the idea that your relationship with your sister is over as soon as you take her gift horse away.
 
Christ I thought my sister was a pain in the arse, deciding to have 3 kids and constantly dumping them on my mum (who is still working 9-5, 5 days a week and would really appreciate some downtime of her own).

On reflection my problem is tiny and I would definitely go down the 'kick her in the minge' route :mad:

Seriously though, dad needs to know if he doesn't already. I suspect he's probably got an incline but no idea of the full extent.
 
TheOracle said:
Yes, I honestly do. My parents have always made a point of treating us equally.

Unless at that age I was oblivious to it.

I'm certain there was a trigger point, and they are keeping it from me.
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Speculation obviously. My great uncle/aunts daughter is similar in this way, she is in her 40s and has drained all of their finances, they've remortgaged their house for her etc. and she's a heroin addict they are in their 70s and are bringing up their granddaughter when they are both clearly very tired. Any chance you think your sister is on drugs? If not then yeah, if you were both brought up with the same conceptions of what your parents regard as right and wrong behaviour then I find it strange that she deems it reasonable to treat them this way and you don't.
 
Speak to your mum first but tell her you both need to discuss it with you Dad after that.

I echo most of the above comments, your sister and her fella sound like absolute wronguns!
 
What I don't want to do it over think this and turn it into something it isn't

I'll get the facts (if I can) and work with that.......although it's obvious something not right is going on
 
Scary and thoroughly unpleasant what your sister has been doing, and it smacks of being a pretty awful person.

You do need to deal with it, and good suggestions have been posted. The thing is, your sister has been using/abusing the bank of parents since day 1, and she's never been in the situation where she's not able to get money out of them. Hopefully they haven't given her too much of their pension(s), but my gut feeling is they may probably have very little left - and eventually, at some point, your parents WILL run out of money to give to your sister, and they'll be eyeballs deep in debt themselves with literally no way to get out of it, as they have no income potential.

That's going to be a massive system shock to your sister and her child if it's allowed to occur, so regardless of what arguments it may cause, you do need to take action. Best of luck with it!
 
Mason- may be on to something as both me and my brother were brought up equally, or so I thought but I looked back on our childhood once I realised how he's more driven than I am and realised I was afforded more opportunities than he was, I wasn't spoiled but just the odd thing here and there I was given over him.
 
Ayahuasca said:
Mason- may be on to something as both me and my brother were brought up equally, or so I thought but I looked back on our childhood once I realised how he's more driven than I am and realised I was afforded more opportunities than he was, I wasn't spoiled but just the odd thing here and there I was given over him.
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Maybe. I have always known what I wanted right from the age of 9. To work with computers. That was always my focus right through childhood. Nothing else mattered.
It was always computers, computers, computers.

I still don't think she knows what she wants to do.

Maybe that is a small part of it.
 
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