Telling women to smile is not OK.

You're straw manning here. The implication was that this woman is hypocritical in this instance, not that whistling and shouting at women is appropriate. Don't forget that as none of this is illegal, what is deemed as "Inappropriate" is subjective.

A totally ridiculous implication.

I wouldn't want some stranger on a train to leave me a note telling me to smile either... but because i do, that means i can't post a selfie on Facebook?

Telling a random person on a train to smile or cheer up is stupid and insensitive. Especially if you don't even wait around for their response. What if the person you had said that to just heard they lost a family member or pet or something like that?
 
No i wouldn't. Why would i want any stranger to be telling me whether i should be smiling or not?

Well, it's worth remembering that the note didn't just say "YOU SHOULD SMILE." it was in a message that was obviously complimentary and clearly intended to cheer her up, however unaware of the situation he may have been. I can't understand what it must be like to not understand that this was the intent.
 
Well, it's worth remembering that the note didn't just say "YOU SHOULD SMILE." it was in a message that was obviously complimentary and clearly intended to cheer her up, however unaware of the situation he may have been. I can't understand what it must be like to not understand that this was the intent.

It may have been a genuine attempt to be nice, it may not. How does he know she even needed cheering up? How does he know that the face she was pulling was not just her normal resting/bored looking out of the window of a train face?

It is full of presumptions and as shown, did the complete opposite of "cheering her up" (if she even needed cheering up at all).

If she genuinely looked really sad or distressed and the person was genuinely concerned, perhaps they should have asked her if she was ok and if she needed any help, rather than leaving a note and getting off the train.

If the person did actually find her attractive and wanted to talk to her/get to know her......maybe they should have, oh i don't know talked to her, rather than just leave?
 
A totally ridiculous implication.

I wouldn't want some stranger on a train to leave me a note telling me to smile either... but because i do, that means i can't post a selfie on Facebook?

Telling a random person on a train to smile or cheer up is stupid and insensitive. Especially if you don't even wait around for their response. What if the person you had said that to just heard they lost a family member or pet or something like that?

It's a preposterous implication. I've already given you her quote of her complaining about people commenting on her appearance and yet she's intentionally going out there to show off her appearance.
You can't have it both ways. Simple.

You're also only focussing on one aspect of the note not taking the whole thing in context. He paid her a compliment. He then left. Where's the discomfort? He didn't stand leering or sit staring. He left. Gone. Poof.
 
It's a preposterous implication.

Correct

I've already given you her quote of her complaining about people commenting on her appearance and yet she's intentionally going out there to show off her appearance.
You can't have it both ways. Simple.

She has taken objection to being told whether she should be smiling or not. That doesn't mean she can no longer show pictures of herself to people.

You're also only focussing on one aspect of the note not taking the whole thing in context. He paid her a compliment. He then left. Where's the discomfort? He didn't stand leering or sit staring. He left. Gone. Poof.

I am focusing on the part of the note she (understandably) took objection to.
 
It's a preposterous implication. I've already given you her quote of her complaining about people commenting on her appearance and yet she's intentionally going out there to show off her appearance.
You can't have it both ways. Simple.
Why can't you?

It's not like her online profile is related to her sitting on a train.

If she wants to invite feedback in one medium, that doesn't mean she wants it in all aspects of her life .
 
Why can't you?

It's not like her online profile is related to her sitting on a train.

If she wants to invite feedback in one medium, that doesn't mean she wants it in all aspects of her life .

Ah yes, you can talk to me. But only on Tuesdays, wednesdays and Thursdays between the hours of 11 and 9. All other times you must avert your gaze and not address me.
 
I guess this all comes down to how women see men and any predisposed ideas they may have, as we aren't all the same.

I've discussed this with my GF and she shared how that some of her female friends are vary wary of men through experiences they've had throughout their lives and as such react to, avoid and create situations in which they don't repeat the bad ones. Whilst she understands this, she doesn't act the same way and still has 'faith' in us guys still and doesn't see us all as potential abusers or misongyists unlike some she knows, she would be one of the girls to take this in the most postive way or even just shrug it off. I accept that some women will become very hostile towards men thanks to appaling behaviour from individuals who decide to abuse, harass etc, but I don't like this trend of plastering it all over the front page of the BBC news page everyday and forming a narrative against men as a group.

I do however think this comes down to a failure on guys as a group to police ourselves. There's been times I've let stuff go unchallenged from friends that's totally not cool, when looking back to my younger years I could have done something about it. I think this is where the message about innapropriate behaviour should be and could help young lads protect themselves from growing up into one of the despicible individuals that women have to deal with, and causes them to become so distructful and negative towards men.
 
This woman...

Photos of herself all over the internet. Selfies infact "look at me look at me look at me"

Someone looks at her "omg stop looking at me!"

This is exactly the problem with people like that. It's hypocritical narcissism really. Applies to both men and women of course, but mostly women. Men typically don't give a crap about talking to strangers or whatever.
 
I know there are guys on the spectrum on here, but this thread feels like there are a bunch who aren't even aware that they are.

Both my wife and best friend have complained about being told to smile by strangers when commuting, and it has only ever been men doing so. Doing it as a note ups the creep factor. The fact that some of you can't fathom that is telling enough. :p
 
Why can't you?

It's not like her online profile is related to her sitting on a train.

If she wants to invite feedback in one medium, that doesn't mean she wants it in all aspects of her life .
It beggars belief that people don't understand this, lol.
 
It beggars belief that people don't understand this, lol.

Bizarre isn't it.

Complaining about being told when you should/shouldn't smile by a stranger on a train means you are then a hypocrite if you then post a picture of yourself on Facebook/Instagram. Thread has gone full on ridiculous as usual.
 
I don't understand why BBC need to genderise the topic

Really it should say "telling people to smile is not okay" as it's rude and intrusive

Certainly not news worthy though
 
How would folk here feel if someone left them a similar note?

I'd consider my facial expression and why I have a face like a smacked arse. Then I'd probably be thankful for the compliment whether it was from man, woman, other.
 
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