Soldato
- Joined
- 27 Apr 2011
- Posts
- 5,607
- Location
- UK
Context is everything I think.
Computer parts fund for my Wife.
- Thread starter Calranthe
- Start date
Context is everything I think.
oi, i'm still lighthearted!! and lovely, very very lovely!! just can't be having some of the bs and faux nonsense that has been appearing up late
it's not argumentative when you're pointing out the truth (i read that in a fortune cookie btw)if i'm honest (and not trying to be argumentative
) while i commend the op for his devotion to his wife and strength of character - i wouldn't wish their situation on my worst enemy and they have my utmost sympathies - it doesn't sit well with me for someone to be accepting and actively encouraging (despite the protestations to the contrary) financial aid when it is apparently not exactly needed.but anyways, good luck to the op and his wife, i wish them nothing but the best and fair play to the guys who feel the urge or want to dip into their own pockets.
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I'm back, its all good, I took no offence to anything anyone has said on this topic, explained the situation where I can and now I will go about answering all the generous people who have offered help, one post at a time, I get it, its okay to be suspicious, I can provide proof going back 20 years, here is us 20 years ago -8 stone for me and minus a lot of grey hair. (posting this mostly just for fun of how long it has been)
We were actually on the front page of the Advertiser 2 weeks running back in 1998 wow
We were actually on the front page of the Advertiser 2 weeks running back in 1998 wow
Please do not put yourself out I know how much posting items like that can cost, your items would be a nice upgrade but as people have pointed out Paola's PC is okay my big concern is the mechanical hard drives which have been switched through 3 separate builds through the last 5-7 years and we have multiple offers of 500gb SSD which is amazing. Just switching the steam/ubisoft library from mechanical to ssd will give a big boost.
just for clarity fella, I for one am certainly not questioning the legitimacy of your wifes condition. I fully appreciate that it is real and as I said you have my heart felt sympathies. I just don't think you need my financial support.
Thank you for the offer, someone has already offered us a 500GB SSD much appreciated.
I can offer to arrange a courier to collect/deliver the kit. As long as it's all boxed up.
just let me have the address details & a date.[/Quote]
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This all seems to have steamrolled, I budget really well, you have to in these situations, yes I am always close to the line and I make sure parts get reused a lot, our computers are in good condition compared to some peoples but, these are not leisure items, My Birthday is mid November and I planned to spend 70% of the money given to me on a monitor(why do I need one because the last 3 upgrade sessions over the last 12 months got spent on creating a liveable bedroom out of the lounge and before that apart from VR which my uncle bought me) My current monitor is a 42 inch slightly damaged LCD TV that is at least 9 years old and the remote sensor is burnt out.
Money for upgrades also had to go on a smart house system, see when Paola is on Dialysis downstairs Alexa(echo) allows her to turn on the main light without moving, smart lights upstairs allows her to wake me up in an emergency, we even have the broadcast system of Alexa hooked up to my bedroom so if there is a dialysis emergency during the night she can broadcast a message to me, these work far better than the emergency lifeline we have also setup (most issues with the dialysis machine I can sort and the only reason I am able to sleep upstairs (no room downstairs is knowing she can contact me at a moments notice))
So I will not say that money is not needed, I will not say help is not needed, we will always be in a situation where I have to prioritise items for Paola, usually its Paola then Dogs then me lol.
Most of the offered help I say no to, the 500GB SSD even if second hand will be an amazing help and the offer of a Monitor is wonderful beyond belief what that means the £300 I have budgeted for my birthday and the hard drive, that will then go on 5-6 other items in the house which are on the "need to get sorted but can't quite budget for them yet pile".
[/QUOTE]
Thank you for the generous offer but her PC is okay as long as we can get one of the 500GB SSD that have already been offered its all good
I saw you naked
must have been quite a shock, its not often you get to see a human tripod
Soldato
- Joined
- 27 Apr 2011
- Posts
- 5,607
- Location
- UK
@Calranthe nobody is questioning your wife's illness or how difficult it is to deal with, I can't even begin to imagine.
I can't offer money, and wouldn't out of principle (done it before here, intriguing story to go with it but not the place for it) but all I can say is don't refuse physical help. If there's someone that can give you just an hour's rest take them up on it. You need a break as much as she does.
I can't offer money, and wouldn't out of principle (done it before here, intriguing story to go with it but not the place for it) but all I can say is don't refuse physical help. If there's someone that can give you just an hour's rest take them up on it. You need a break as much as she does.
you don't need to justify your spending to me fella. I haven't asked you to and I don't expect you to. I've seen all these posts before, they're very similar to those on some of the boating forums you've frequented. perhaps as @Diddums said above, something has changed in me and I've become a cynic (in fairness to me it's not without reason - I have first hand experience of a forum member receiving financial assistance then spending very differently to how was expected)
I just can't get onboard with someone having the funds to purchase a 5 grand boat (and previously been talking about a 200k budget) actively seeking out aid. perhaps and god forbid it happens if I found myself in your position my outlook would change. but genuinely (and I hope you believe me) I wish you no ill will and all the best for you and your colossus of a wife.
As for me personally, I am trying to force myself to have some time to myself but its not easy, I can't VR at the moment because too much is going on for example 8-12am Dialysis then breakfast then lunch and Nurse visit every other morning, afternoons are full of deliveries from Amazon and pharmacies and the dialysis companies plus the VR room now has 7 stacks to 6ft of medical supplies, bit hard to do VR, 4-6 Tea time, 6-8 we watch the Arrowverse stuff) 8pm to 9pm I go in the back yard and incinerate the cardboard boxes the Dialysis stuff comes in, 9pm-10pm get Paola setup on Dialysis and then I am free but shattered.
Hopefully once the Dialysis is tweaked things will settle down, the main problem is if the cycles change or the type of fluid then its new items have to arrive, to put it in perspective they arrive on an large truck on multiple pallets plastic wrapped and chilled.
When the Dialysis is sorted Paola will have a little more energy and be able to do more herself even if that is just playing in VR or getting a drink for herself, she may start painting again and at that point I can have some time to myself during the afternoon lol.
Hopefully once the Dialysis is tweaked things will settle down, the main problem is if the cycles change or the type of fluid then its new items have to arrive, to put it in perspective they arrive on an large truck on multiple pallets plastic wrapped and chilled.
When the Dialysis is sorted Paola will have a little more energy and be able to do more herself even if that is just playing in VR or getting a drink for herself, she may start painting again and at that point I can have some time to myself during the afternoon lol.
Ahh now I get it remember I tried to explain back then I took some very bad advice from people I thought knew better than me it took me months to figure out what was right and what wasn't the 200k figure was told to me for coastal cruising "why take your wife on canal get her on a coastal boat and visit all the amazing places" and so I fudged it badly, the irony is the advice I got on those forums pointed me in the right direction but it took awhile after all the romantic in me had visions of motoring down the coast While Paola was still well.
I know I was wrong I even went back to those forums and apologised (for the record 99% of that money would have come from selling our house) now as to why I could "blow" 5k last year on a boat and now how trouble upgrading computers, you haven't asked me to explain but I do not mind and no im not trying to convince you on anything, before my mums dementia kicked in badly she set aside certain funds and we had some spare funds too, then it got bad and she went into a home and money she had set aside for us well if you know the current care home system and how it drains cash.
At the same time we were advised by occupational health that Paola would be better off in a Bungalow and when we had our house valued it came to 70k *laughs* which with the price of bungalows in the stoke on trent area being between 160-250 for a 3 bedroom version, every bit of cash and savings I had access to went on instead turning the lounge into a bedroom for when Paola got home from hospital.
No offence taken and you well wishes are gratefully received.
Soldato
- Joined
- 21 Oct 2011
- Posts
- 22,530
- Location
- ST4
I'm back, its all good, I took no offence to anything anyone has said on this topic, explained the situation where I can and now I will go about answering all the generous people who have offered help, one post at a time, I get it, its okay to be suspicious, I can provide proof going back 20 years, here is us 20 years ago -8 stone for me and minus a lot of grey hair. (posting this mostly just for fun of how long it has been)
We were actually on the front page of the Advertiser 2 weeks running back in 1998 wow
Bloody hell, The Advertiser. That takes me back.
Yeah, back then we were really not sure once the treatment started she would survive and the treatment trials were so brutal that we went to wales for a holiday lol.
are you getting any respite support? you being burnt out full time caring is no good to you or your wife.
The problem is and I've heard this from other full time carers every time I leave the house I worry if she is okay, even if someone else is helping her its very hard for me to switch off, funnily enough chatting like this on this forum is great for me, its a break, its interesting and I love these kind of discussions, I've been doing this for 20 years I tried to take a break once and I was so unhappy thinking of Paola that I ended up back home.
I have started playing Assassins Creed Origins, so technically for 2 hours a night I am spending time in Egypt that's gotta count for something.
Also 3 times a week Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday an AMG nurse (we pay) comes and helps for an hour, washing Paola's hair and such like.
you don't have to leave the house or disappear completely - just having someone there to take over for an hour or 2 so you can step outside for a breath of fresh air, stretch you legs in peace (relatively speaking) not sure diving headlong into computer games is the healthiest way to relax (says me with multiple 1000's of hours under my belt!) - you end living in a fantasy world (such as thinking for 2 hrs a night you're spending time in Egypt
)mind if I ask if you have a strong family/friends network. are you able to sit and chat with real people in the real world (not other carers etc)