Cockblocked by co-worker

If the topic was about abortion, I would have the common sense not to jest about anything. As aforementioned, she made talking about the weather difficult. I'd sit with Jen and we'd have a laugh and when she sat down with us, it would be dead. Almost as if her mother sat down next her.

I'm not even thinking about Jen anymore, just had a date with another girl. Went well. :)
 
platinum87 said:
You can ask a girl out once a week for years without being obsessive..

The obsessive part of it comes from, thinking about it constantly, posting about it on forums, and starting to believe another person is the cause of your problems.
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Not in the work place, you can’t. If you persisted after clearly being turned down just the once and the girl went to HR, you’d be read the riot act and get at least a verbal warning along with a place on an anti-harassment course.
 
Terminal_Boy said:
Not in the work place, you can’t. If you persisted after clearly being turned down just the once and the girl went to HR, you’d be read the riot act and get at least a verbal warning along with a place on an anti-harassment course.
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Yea you don't want to get #MeTooed
 
Nasher said:
Yea you don't want to get #MeTooed
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It's really interesting comparing my current office environment to the one I worked in as a young apprentice.

I'm not saying it's common across the whole workforce but there is definitely an air of caution now when it comes to women you don't know or don't work with on tea breaks or lunch. We joke all the time about, "careful or you'll be up in front of HR!" but in reality that comment highlights a climate of subconscious fear.
 
Roar87 said:
It's nice that you've got the full transcript available to tell the OP that he should definitely not pursue because she's clearly not interested, despite the fact that what we do know is they got on really well and she gave off signs that she almost certainly liked him at one point.
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It doesn't require a transcript to decide that when someone declines an offer 3 times they really are declining it.

What people here may not understand is that it's better to run with the assumption that a girl likes you and be wrong, than run with the assumption that she doesn't like you when in fact she does. In the former all that happens is that you get rejected or look a bit silly, in the latter you miss an opportunity that you might regret.
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I don't understand that because it's not true.

In the former, you run the risk of losing your job, your career, your reputation or all three. Even if you don't, you're being a problem when you act on the assumption that she wants to have sex with/go out with you and she doesn't.

In the latter, you run the risk of getting involved with an unstable and dishonest person who may cause you harm.

If I make a person an offer and they decline but they're actually interested, it's up to them to say so. The ball's in their court and they'd better have a good reason for lying about it.
 
Narj said:
It's really interesting comparing my current office environment to the one I worked in as a young apprentice.

I'm not saying it's common across the whole workforce but there is definitely an air of caution now when it comes to women you don't know or don't work with on tea breaks or lunch. We joke all the time about, "careful or you'll be up in front of HR!" but in reality that comment highlights a climate of subconscious fear.
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Which, of course, is the point of the campaign - to increase the divide between men and women and to make the workplace a hostile environment for men.
 
Kaiju said:
Okay, so I built a good rapport with a girl at work, let’s call her Jen; we had mutual interests, laughed at each other’s jokes, frequently smiled at each other, eye contact, physical intent, everything you’d want from initial escalation but when a new female colleague (Tracy) started realising I was giving her attention, she started to make things difficult. For example, she’d wait for her every night when going home when she knew me and Jen would leave work together.

I saw the cockblock starting so I made an effort to befriend Tracy. Just general topics, nothing taboo. Big mistake, she ate everything I said and spewed it out like I was a monster. She literally made me uncomfortable talking about the weather LOL. Then one day at work, we were talking about something random and she just started crying out of the blue.

Later I told Jen that Tracy just randomly started crying but you can imagine what side she took. A few days later I saw Tracy in the elevator and she said hi to me with a smirk. She never said hi to me before. After that, Jen began to cold shoulder me and they started to spend more time together. I’m now sitting here with my dick in my hand and scratching my head with the other.

Backstory, Tracy is a Psych major and very aware of her surroundings. The girls at work all flock to her as she has a neutral voice, calming and she regularly shoulders them if they have any problems. I’m pretty sure the deal is that she took offence that I was flirting with Jen at work, especially as she just started working here. She’s also quite unattractive, fat, acne, basically a great friend to have as she makes everyone else look more attractive.
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Are you a scriptwriter on eastenders ?? :p
 
Diddums said:
Considerably more entertaining than the drivel you post tbh.
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I just give my opinion and back it up with reasoned arguments. I couldn't really care less if people on here tell me I'm wrong about women, most people here's relationship advice is shocking. We had a guy in the thread talking about how to ask out women when he's had 1 relationship in his entire life, like seriously? I give advice that I myself have used and know it works. Sorry I don't back down to the jibes from people who's posts have zero content and contribute nothing of interest or value.
 
To be honest the OP sounds like the office pest.

Did you ever think the girl laughing at your jokes talking etc was just her being nice and trying to get on with a co worker.

You asked her out 3 times and she knocked you back 3 times, once should have given you the clue. but 3 times asking.. that's just creepy

You never think that she asked the other girl to run interference to get you off her back.

And all you do is run to your boss and try and get the other girl fired.

How weird is that a thing to do.

Back off get your head down get on with your job and stop pestering the girls at work.
 
Read between the lines much?

Why would Jen let me take her home after work for months? Why would she be comfortable when I showed physical intent? Touch her shoulder, push her jokingly. I've dated girls where I've had to back off, it's not rocket science. Observe, body language, willingness to talk.

I asked her out over the course of a couple of months. That's after the Tracy incident, before that we would hang out often. I have a 3 strike policy but even I know you have to cool down and escalate before asking out again.

Jen was cool with me until Tracy played the sympathy card. Complete 180. My boss is like my mum, we talk about everything as I was with her when she started the company. You could say we've gone through a lot in 10 years.

My interest in getting her fired was in jest, evidently by the laugh we had the next day at work. Unprofessional, yes but this isn't Disney, rainbows and bunny rabbits.

Your willingness to construct a narrative while admirable is ultimately quashed.
 
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Now that they're friends you could ask them what the chances of a three-way are? :D. Might be good to have a new job lined up first, just in case.
I echo what others have said - keep work and personal lives separate, or at least don't go chasing after work colleagues looking for romance. Or if you really do like someone and they're into you, they'll have no problem suggesting doing something together.
 
No idea Kaiju, sounds like a minefield but you should be screenwriter or something :D Sounds like office politics, way too much hassle to be bothering with. I wouldnt go out on a limb and maybe she'll change her mind on her own anyway some time in the future
 
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