Church Wedding (for non church goers)

muttclugg · 20 Jan 2019 at 14:31

We're getting married in a nice church later this year and next weekend we have a meeting at the church for a 'Wedding Preparation meeting'. It's a 3hour meeting with other couples who are also getting married throughout 2019 at the same church.

We're not church going people and I wondered if anyone has done a similar thing and had some idea of what to expect next week at the meeting?

Thanks

dowie · 20 Jan 2019 at 14:36

I've not but a friend of mine who isn't a church goer (or even particularly religious) got married in a Church (more for the sake of her parents) and she and the groom were expected to attend some Church services before hand.

Brizzles · 20 Jan 2019 at 14:46

They try and recruit you.

Take a small vial of rats blood and a chicken foot with you, should be safe then

pinkpound · 20 Jan 2019 at 14:52

I had church wedding it me it was just a building and nothing more . Just nod your head and agree

Kelt · 20 Jan 2019 at 15:04

Why get married in a church if you're not a believer?

Just get married in a pub and cut out the travelling from a church to the reception.

Dis86 · 20 Jan 2019 at 15:12

Kelt said:
Why get married in a church if you're not a believer?

Just get married in a pub and cut out the travelling from a church to the reception.

Yeah I never got the point either. I have a friend who is staunchly anti religious and then got married in one :confused:

JaWalks · 20 Jan 2019 at 15:29

I went through this. As an atheist it was awkward to say the least. My wife just had to have her dream wedding in her hometown church and I just went along with it.

Had to go to two of these meetings and listen to a load of drivel from the vicar and other couples. I just let the wife do all the talking.

Kronos · 20 Jan 2019 at 15:36

I think whether you get married in a church or not is a decision the ladies make, it may well be hypocritical for an atheist to participate but why not all religions are hypocritical to some extent anyway. Just enjoy the day if it makes your partner happy.

bowey · 20 Jan 2019 at 15:50

Dis86 said:
Yeah I never got the point either. I have a friend who is staunchly anti religious and then got married in one

Well in that argument why get married at all? Churches are nice places, they normally are very welcoming simply because you've chose to get married in a church, not their to question your religion. It's more a social thing so he can get to know both of you, how you met ect.

muttclugg · 20 Jan 2019 at 15:54

We've chosen the location because it's in our village. It's a fantastic venue and I'm no means "anti religion" but I can't remember the last time I was in a church. Just wondered what we could expect next weekend.

koolpc · 20 Jan 2019 at 15:59

Why get married in a church if you dont believe in God?

james.miller · 20 Jan 2019 at 16:10

If you cant tell the difference between a church and a hall or a pub then there's no helping you. If you can then you'd know why people would want to get married in a church

paradigm · 20 Jan 2019 at 16:21

james.miller said:
If you cant tell the difference between a church and a hall or a pub then there's no helping you. If you can then you'd know why people would want to get married in a church

Plenty of stunning venues that aren't tied to a religion. We got married specifically NOT in a church as we are both atheist and thought the notion of getting married in a "house of God" was a bit rude to those of the faith.

Iamzod · 20 Jan 2019 at 16:30

Depends on the vicar, we got married in one as it's a nice building but I think religion is a load of #@%$!

It was a fairly non-religious meeting to be fair, he had us talk about why we want to get married, why in a church etc.

He was happy with us just doing it there for the venue rather than religious reasons.

Dis86 · 20 Jan 2019 at 16:43

bowey said:
Well in that argument why get married at all? Churches are nice places, they normally are very welcoming simply because you've chose to get married in a church, not their to question your religion. It's more a social thing so he can get to know both of you, how you met ect.

Country houses, halls and parks are nice places. I've been to weddings at all 3 that have easily trumped any church wedding I've been to. Especially because the ceremonies are so much quicker!

stockhausen · 20 Jan 2019 at 16:47

Surely a much more relevant question is "Why get married at all?"

Marriage is such a medieval concept; the chances are that people will end up divorced anyhow.

Participant · 20 Jan 2019 at 17:00

Kronos said:
I think whether you get married in a church or not is a decision the ladies make, it may well be hypocritical for an atheist to participate but why not all religions are hypocritical to some extent anyway. Just enjoy the day if it makes your partner happy.

Exactly this in my case.

stockhausen said:
Surely a much more relevant question is "Why get married at all?"

Marriage is such a medieval concept

And somewhat that tbh, but it's done now

. I basically got married because I liked my girlfriend enough to not want to lose her. Romantic I know.

Mr Jack · 20 Jan 2019 at 17:09

Dis86 said:
Country houses, halls and parks are nice places. I've been to weddings at all 3 that have easily trumped any church wedding I've been to. Especially because the ceremonies are so much quicker!

And, more importantly, you can do the ceremony the exact way you want. We wrote our own ceremony and vows, etc. and had a friend do it for us*. I'd much, much rather have that than anything put together by other people, especially other people of a religion I don't hold to.

* - we did the legal bit separately with close family in the morning.

Kronos · 20 Jan 2019 at 17:14

stockhausen said:
Surely a much more relevant question is "Why get married at all?"

Marriage is such a medieval concept; the chances are that people will end up divorced anyhow.

Until one of you dies then you find out how difficult things can be and I speak from experience after losing my partner of 35 years last year. Even if all it takes is a couple friends and a registrar once you reach a certain age do it and save the hassle and possible heartache.

dowie · 20 Jan 2019 at 17:15

stockhausen said:
Surely a much more relevant question is "Why get married at all?"

Marriage is such a medieval concept; the chances are that people will end up divorced anyhow.

Marriage comes with various legal/financial benefits.

So plenty of reasons, depending on circumstances. Seems a bit naive to even pose the question tbh...

Also marriage predates the Middle Ages btw... it certainly isn’t a “medieval concept”.

Church Wedding (for non church goers)

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