OK back in the 80s in my early teens, a friends father had mole problems on his crown green lawn at the front of their 16th century vicarage house in the Peak District. He offered me and his son a fiver for every mole we caught. You see where this is going... to cut a long story short, after 3 days of catching no moles, we decided to take the nuclear option, hoses, funnels a couple of gallons of petrol, some loo roll (as a fuse) and a box of matches. We thought that we would burn them out with fireballs going down the little mole tunnels, like we had seen in the movies. What actually happened was a dull thud, a whoomf noise and pretty much the entire lawn heaved about two foot vertically, upwards. The rest of the summer was spent digging it out and relaying the lawn (which mostly died through petrol poisoning!!). Needless to say, we never earned any fivers.
