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[Junglist]

Well…it’s finally time for me to join this thread!
Come October, we’ll hopefully be welcoming a third family member into the household. I’m excited but also completely terrified!

Congrats man. It's natural to be terrified but you have nothing to worry about

Maybe I'm speaking from a place of ignorance of only having one child but I'd ignore parents that make it sound like parenting is the hardest thing you'll do. It's hard and tiring but what they never mention is just how rewarding it is that makes all the hard work forgettable.

Though becoming a parent flicks some weird lizard switch in the brain that changes you and how you see the world. I used to feel like I was a sociopath not really caring about others apart from me and mine but turns out I've now gone to the other side and I'm a empath feeling something for everyone

 

[Azza]

Awkward...

hahaha odd. Let's use a different host.

Well…it’s finally time for me to join this thread!
Come October, we’ll hopefully be welcoming a third family member into the household. I’m excited but also completely terrified!

 

[tom_e]

I'd ignore parents that make it sound like parenting is the hardest thing you'll do.

Let's not start straight out lying to the guy

 

[Junglist]

Let's not start straight out lying to the guy

Don't get me wrong. It's a challenge and welcome to always being tired and just getting used to various states of tiredness....

But I feel some parents really ham up how hard it is being a parent to those without children. Then when they come you realise you just make it work because you have no other choice.

 

[dirtychinchilla]

Has anyone else gone from premade formula to powder and found the whole system mystifying? I don't understand wtf they're doing with the quantities.

150 ml of premade formula requires 5 scoops of the powder, but that makes about 170 ml of formula.

And then, it turns out that 150 ml of premade formula has the same nutritional content as 150 ml of powdered formula.

So which is it? I can't get my head around it.

 

[Ayahuasca]

Don't get me wrong. It's a challenge and welcome to always being tired and just getting used to various states of tiredness....

But I feel some parents really ham up how hard it is being a parent to those without children. Then when they come you realise you just make it work because you have no other choice.

I think it massively depends on the individual. For example, some people have always done okay with less sleep or have more energy in general.

If you're someone who really needs sleep to function and you end up with a baby who wakes up 5-6 times a night, it's absolutely going to be the hardest time of your life. Long term sleep deprivation is absolute hell and there's a reason why the military use it when interrogating people.

You also get some babies who are calm and others who scream if they're not held etc. Of course, you'll find a way, that's what humans do best, and in time you'll forget all those sleepless nights and just have the good memories to look back on.

 

[Junglist]

Has anyone else gone from premade formula to powder and found the whole system mystifying? I don't understand wtf they're doing with the quantities.

150 ml of premade formula requires 5 scoops of the powder, but that makes about 170 ml of formula.

And then, it turns out that 150 ml of premade formula has the same nutritional content as 150 ml of powdered formula.

So which is it? I can't get my head around it.

We were lazy and just bought one of these and had it handle it all for us. We refuse to sell it just in case we do have another one.

I think it massively depends on the individual. For example, some people have always done okay with less sleep or have more energy in general.

If you're someone who really needs sleep to function and you end up with a baby who wakes up 5-6 times a night, it's absolutely going to be the hardest time of your life. Long term sleep deprivation is absolute hell and there's a reason why the military use it when interrogating people.

You also get some babies who are calm and others who scream if they're not held etc.

Yeah, you're right on the sleep part. I cope fairly well with little sleep. My partner? My lord she can be a ******** in the middle of the night/morning if she's tired

 

[Haggisman]

But I feel some parents really ham up how hard it is being a parent to those without children. Then when they come you realise you just make it work because you have no other choice.

I don't think those two statements are mutually exclusive!

It's also not just about the physical demands/tiredness - if anything, those are the easy things to deal with:

1. Your needs essentially become a distant second place to theirs - for the rest of your life.
2. You constantly worry about whether you're doing "the right thing", they don't come with a manual!
3. It's a constant learning experience - every day comes with a new challenge, a new problem to solve, with no real guidance (every child is different, so while there is plenty of advice out there, a lot of it conflicts; how do you know which advice to listen to (see point 2)).
4. You never ever fully switch off; they're always in the back of your mind.

 

[Junglist]

Oh don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's easy. It's not. But no matter how hard it is or how annoying they're being, they make it worth it in the end and when you see them happy I find you forget about all the hard work you had to do.

My little trooper got her proper cast yesterday. 1 week down. 2 more to go

 

[tom_e]

If you're someone who really needs sleep to function and you end up with a baby who wakes up 5-6 times a night, it's absolutely going to be the hardest time of your life. Long term sleep deprivation is absolute hell and there's a reason why the military use it when interrogating people.

This was me when my little one was first born, combined with the fact she literally wouldn't let me hold her without screaming at me for the first 6-7 months. 100% absolute torture.

Obviously it's not the same for everyone but I feel it's important to point out contrary to what a lot of people say it aint all rainbows and butterfly's it can be hard really excruciatingly hard, once I'd spoken to a couple of mates who said the same I felt much better knowing it wasn't just me that wasn't getting the warm fuzzy new dad feeling 24/7.

 

[Haggisman]

Oh don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's easy. It's not. But no matter how hard it is or how annoying they're being, they make it worth it in the end and when you see them happy I find you forget about all the hard work you had to do.

Oh yeah, I definitely don't disagree there! It's absolutely worth it

I think it's only really when you get a couple of days "off" that you realise how much work it is though.

We managed to get snooker tickets for the Masters last week, so had my mum looking after ours for a couple of days (we tagged on a couple of days in the Peak District since she was here anyway ), and it's all the little things that do add up; making sure they've got clean clothes for school, their tablet is charged, finding a happy compromise for dinners (i.e. something everyone is happy to eat, that's also healthy and balanced, doesn't cost a fortune, doesn't take 3 hours to make), tidying the mess they somehow manage to constantly make, helping with homework, etc. it's amazing how much spare time you seem to have when you don't have all of that to take care of!

 

[dirtychinchilla]

We were lazy and just bought one of these and had it handle it all for us. We refuse to sell it just in case we do have another one.

Hah! I talked my wife out of buying that and we got the Tommee Tippee. But you'd still have the same issue if you looked at it closely - your 150 ml feed from there would not, apparently, be 150 ml of premade formula.

 

[Mr Oxide]

R.I.P hahaha

Joking aside. It is hard at times, but worth it. Mine is 28 and just made me a Grandad 8 weeks ago

If that nappy stinks. I only need to pass her to the parents this time

 

[TNA]

Don't get me wrong. It's a challenge and welcome to always being tired and just getting used to various states of tiredness....

But I feel some parents really ham up how hard it is being a parent to those without children. Then when they come you realise you just make it work because you have no other choice.

Adding a second more than doubles the difficulty imo. Just one is very nice. You get the rewards without much difficulty (relatively speaking)

Can't or least don't want to imagine a third. Good luck Maccy!

 

[platypus]

No, I think a third would put me in an early grave. Already 9 years in with no proper sleep...

 

[theone8181]

Felt like a bad parent last night. Parked at my local Asda and left my 8 year old son in the car watching YouTube (I asked him multiple time but he wanted to stay in). I took my 11 year old daughter round the corner to the bike shop and when we came back he was Infront of the shop with an Asda worker. He said he wandered in saying he was lost and went to the bike shop. The guy in Asda was fine, but I felt really bad (although it's not a busy area).

 

[Mysterae_]

Felt like a bad parent last night. Parked at my local Asda and left my 8 year old son in the car watching YouTube (I asked him multiple time but he wanted to stay in). I took my 11 year old daughter round the corner to the bike shop and when we came back he was Infront of the shop with an Asda worker. He said he wandered in saying he was lost and went to the bike shop. The guy in Asda was fine, but I felt really bad (although it's not a busy area).

Not wanting you to feel any worse than you do already but you got off lightly considering what could have happened and you know that.

I'll always remember the day I went out for a Sunday drive but needed something from Sainsburys first. As I pulled in to a parking space (not a parent and child space) the front passenger door of the car to my right was suddenly opened by a child - crunch - I hit the door thankfully and not the boy. Had that kid jumped out of the car any quicker it might have been a lot worse. I of course looked for the parent but there was only another child in the car - the mother was in the supermarket doing her shopping . It caused a right scene - distraught kid, absent parent, me trying not to freak the lad out anymore than he already was whilst containing my anger. The lad then blindly ran off screaming and crying and I thought, crap, now what do I do?! I waited and eventually the mother showed up.

 

[fez]

Felt like a bad parent last night. Parked at my local Asda and left my 8 year old son in the car watching YouTube (I asked him multiple time but he wanted to stay in). I took my 11 year old daughter round the corner to the bike shop and when we came back he was Infront of the shop with an Asda worker. He said he wandered in saying he was lost and went to the bike shop. The guy in Asda was fine, but I felt really bad (although it's not a busy area).

Little menace!

And yes, as others have suggested, kids are hard and there is a whole industry around pretending that its just absolutely magical 24/7. The mummy influencers are ******* awful. My brothers wife is a SAHM with 4 kids and posts a fair amount of stuff to instagram etc with ***** captions. You would think her house is peaceful and beautifully kept and her children and little angels. Its carnage and they are fiends quite a lot of the time.

I also didn't feel that bond to my boys for quite a while. They give you very very little at first and demand everything. Sleep depravation makes it 10x worse. When they start becoming humans though, there is nothing like it in the world. Best thing I have ever done by a country mile. Gives your life purpose and gratification like nothing else.

 

[Priapus]

I also didn't feel that bond to my boys for quite a while. They give you very very little at first and demand everything. Sleep depravation makes it 10x worse. When they start becoming humans though, there is nothing like it in the world. Best thing I have ever done by a country mile. Gives your life purpose and gratification like nothing else.

This is something very difficult to explain to non-parents that I don't even bother. Someone tried to get me into a debate about having kids vs not. My opinion is, do what works for you. If you want kids, great - if not, also great. It's your life.

Our boy turns 3 at the end of this month. How the time has gone by. His diction gets better every week and now he is potty training (Nightmare in itself) and we are considering another.

 

[theone8181]

I have left my 11 year old in the car as she's pretty responsible (I think in her eyes she thinks she's an adult ). Normally when I leave either alone it's somewhere that visible from where I am, won't be doing that again with him for a while.