OcUK Dadsnet thread
- Thread starter Devrij
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Yeah it's another one of those sounds great on the face of it but actually you save basically nothing compared to the headline rate. Can't blame the nurseries really if the govt funding is that out of touch with actual costs then they need to make the money up somewhere.
Yeah, same here. We're putting the boys in for 3 days a week from middle of next month but the nursery have now started charging for everything. Think its about £13 for the food for the day which is frankly ridiculous. The kicker is that my boys always come home hungry from nursery and they are now saying that they aren't allowed to give them more than one plate of food at lunch. My boys are not overweight in any way and I think its cruel to limit their foot intake because too many parents feed their children **** and they are overweight.
They are also changing the hours they cover in their day rate so if they are there at the times they are often there (7:45 - just after 5) we will have to pay £1.50 for breakfast and another £20 per child for 2 extra hours.
So all in all, the extra hours are not likely to save us much at all. We could end up paying another £550/month just for the breakfast and extra 2 hours a day that we use about 20 minutes of.
What's annoying is we don't really need the 'Free Childcare hours' what we need is actual regulations on nursery costs, there is no way it costs the same as a mortgage to look after a sub 4 year old for 3 days a week (That's what ours costs before the 'Free' hours, £1200 for 3 days a week) when we all know the nursery workers are getting paid minimum wage 
In other news
Our 10 week old daughter is getting to the fun stage of lots of smiles and cooing, and the occasional 6-hour sleep through the night 
In other news
Our 10 week old daughter is getting to the fun stage of lots of smiles and cooing, and the occasional 6-hour sleep through the night
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Our little one finishes today, mixed feelings as the staff she had in her final year have been fantastic for her but how much !!!
She's very upset/clingy/angry with her emotions about leaving and missing the teacher/staff and of course her friends she has made.
Going to be crying picking her up later...not sure how she will be.
She's very upset/clingy/angry with her emotions about leaving and missing the teacher/staff and of course her friends she has made.
Going to be crying picking her up later...not sure how she will be.
What's annoying is we don't really need the 'Free Childcare hours' what we need is actual regulations on nursery costs, there is no way it costs the same as a mortgage to look after a sub 4 year old for 3 days a week (That's what ours costs before the 'Free' hours, £1200 for 3 days a week) when we all know the nursery workers are getting paid minimum wage
Staffing costs, training costs, staff turnover, sickness costs, renting somewhere, admin costs, utility costs. Running a business isn't just about staffing costs and I don't think that many nurseries are making a killing.
For your 3 days a week that is 12 days a month or £100/day. Thats potentially for 11 hours of care. Thats £9/hour.
They also have to try and staff effectively when a lot of people aren't doing 5 days a week. Some days they might have 80% capacity and others 100%. Its unlikely the staff are not working those days and not getting paid.
Our boy who is 3 years old in April has been in full time since then at roughly £1500-£1600 per month. We aren't eligible for tax credits due to my income, but we do now get the 15 hours which has made a nice difference to the nursery bill. My wife started a new job in April, take home around £1800 per month, although £2800 with shift allowance top up which kicked in after her training. It's been hard on him as they're long days, it's been hard on my wife due to the shift work and the actual job, and it's been hard for me as she's only home for a full weekend one in every three.
Ultimately she decided the job wasn't for her, toxic atmosphere etc, plus the invariable toll on family life and grueling hours. But she wanted to try it and I wanted to support her. I've said to her don't worry about work for the foreseeable, we can rethink next summer as he approaches starting school and she can look for part time. But we're still going to keep him in either 2 or 3 days a week as it is good for him, and it's nice for my wife to get a break from being a mum. He is challenging, and we think a lot of that is down to him simply being overly tired combined with normal 3 and a bit year old behaviour.
I understand the costs, but I do think they're incredibly expensive and it makes it pretty difficult for normal families to have two working parents. The changes are a good thing overall, but simply having children should not mean not being able to work, and part time work is incredibly scarce beyond stacking shelves or making coffee etc. I also think the eligibility criteria is unfair. It's entirely possible to have 1 household to have net adjusted income of £199k and be eligible for funded hours, yet another household who has 1 high earner would not be eligible, or they have to sacrifice income into their pension to fall within the critera.
Ultimately she decided the job wasn't for her, toxic atmosphere etc, plus the invariable toll on family life and grueling hours. But she wanted to try it and I wanted to support her. I've said to her don't worry about work for the foreseeable, we can rethink next summer as he approaches starting school and she can look for part time. But we're still going to keep him in either 2 or 3 days a week as it is good for him, and it's nice for my wife to get a break from being a mum. He is challenging, and we think a lot of that is down to him simply being overly tired combined with normal 3 and a bit year old behaviour.
I understand the costs, but I do think they're incredibly expensive and it makes it pretty difficult for normal families to have two working parents. The changes are a good thing overall, but simply having children should not mean not being able to work, and part time work is incredibly scarce beyond stacking shelves or making coffee etc. I also think the eligibility criteria is unfair. It's entirely possible to have 1 household to have net adjusted income of £199k and be eligible for funded hours, yet another household who has 1 high earner would not be eligible, or they have to sacrifice income into their pension to fall within the critera.
Yeah, its silly. You want people active in the economy and it simply doesn't stack up. The birth rate in through the floor and the only reason our population is increasing is through immigration, plenty of which is not of benefit to the country beyond the fact society is build upon a pyramid that constantly requires larger and larger generations to keep kicking the can down the road.
Part of the problem is that any child benefits are sneered at by a lot of people without children and there is negative connotations and the view that "you shouldn't have kids if you can't afford them". Well if you want to play that game then no one would have kids because about 10% of the population can afford them without benefits and those high earners might not want them because they have prioritised a career or have a very demanding career that makes children tricky.
Society needs to work out how they are going to support parents better going forwards because this decline ain't going to stop. The more immigration we use to plug the native population, the more civil unrest there will be and having children is, up to a point, somewhat cultural. If no one around you is having kids then society will change to reflect that and less and less people that would have them won't. Its a shame as well because children are wonderful. I don't know too many people that wouldn't have 2-3 kids if they could afford them once they have one. The issue is time and money.
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On an unrelated note, does anyone elses missus seem to make more work for you when you already have more than enough. She thought it would be a good idea to get them some soft toys as comforters...when they are nearly 2.5. They have never had any issues with going to sleep or shown any inclination to want something like this. Now we have 2 boys who constantly want their pig and horse before bed and everywhere they go. She gets them toys they don't need when they already have millions. We probably have about 40 little toy cars now. Her justification? Other children have far more toys. Brilliant. I'm happy those children have so many toys that 90% of them get played with for 2% of the time vs the toys they actually use the other 98%.
We're trying to move house, have no time and shes adding more and more crap all the time. I don't know if this is just normal or the results of her spending too much time looking at social media and mummy influencers. The funny thing is she knows its all BS and for show but clearly it still makes her feel bad when other kids have things ours don't. Personally I think what kids need is attention and affection, not more toys.
Completely agree, however in our case it’s family members that feel compelled to buy lavish toys that the girls don’t need(with my partner having been on maternity for just over 2 of the last 3 years, we couldn’t even if we’d wanted to!).
It’s always from a good place in wanting to treat them and make a fuss over them, but the reality is that as you say they’ll get played with 2% of the time, the other 98% they’ll sit within the stack of other toys and occasionally get a look in.
More often than not they are interested in playing with the boxes as opposed to the actual toy! My youngest is fascinated with empty water bottles
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Don't enjoy it too much. When they get to junior / secondary school the money fountain gets turned on again for uniform, shoes, residential trips, clubs etc.
(my eldest needs three different kind of trainers just for PE, that he grows out of every 6 months )We've had a week of utter hell with our newborn. Up every 30 mins to feed, 5-6 nappies that I ended up giving him nappy rash changing every night, fine during the day. Finally had one night last night where he only got up twice for a feed. Wow, we both fee like we've slept for a week.
Looking at baby monitors but a lot seem really tat or the ones that seem like they could be good are worth enough money to do some research pre-purchase. Is there a standard go-to option that has been implemented very well? Everyone I know irl with one always moans about one feature or another (usually connectivity) and I'd rather get something that doesn't end up being half-done.
I've also got a tapo camera from when the dog was a puppy. It's not portable but I could rig that up again? I've got ubiquiti throughout the house so Wi-Fi signal shouldn't be a problem.
Looking at baby monitors but a lot seem really tat or the ones that seem like they could be good are worth enough money to do some research pre-purchase. Is there a standard go-to option that has been implemented very well? Everyone I know irl with one always moans about one feature or another (usually connectivity) and I'd rather get something that doesn't end up being half-done.
I've also got a tapo camera from when the dog was a puppy. It's not portable but I could rig that up again? I've got ubiquiti throughout the house so Wi-Fi signal shouldn't be a problem.
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You want one that does not use WiFi. Check out Babysense.
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Vaseline every nappy change with Bepanthen if it starts going red.
We’ve been using one of these since he was born:
VTech Smart Video Baby Monitor RM7767HD Multi Colour Night Light With 7'' Display (Renewed), White : Amazon.co.uk: Baby Products
VTech Smart Video Baby Monitor RM7767HD Multi Colour Night Light With 7'' Display (Renewed), White : Amazon.co.uk: Baby Products
amzn.eu
Works a treat, can check it anywhere on your phone and we’ve taken it on holiday.
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30 minutes sounds like hell mate - we were feeding every 3 hours for his mild jaundice but tried to spread it a bit with her breast feeding and me doing bottles of expressed milk which helped a bit.
It does get better I promise!