ex got married

Threepwood said:
Aimlessly browseing facebook, when a mutual friend's photos of my ex's wedding came up, so I'm sad now, I thought she was the one for me, it was meant to be us, not them, but I guess if she and I were meant to be, then I'd never had the stroke, and lost her in the first place!
Still, she looks so happy, (genuinely happy in the photos) that I'm trying to feel happy about it too. If he can give her that, and all the things that I couldn't give her, then that is good, isn't it?! good on them.
I wasn't expecting that to come up so suddenly, without any warning..
.. I knew she had a fella, but still. I didn't fully realise that they were that serious, mores am I the fool.
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best thing you can do is just not look as tempting as it is.
my wife turned out to be screwing one of my closest friends - I strongly suspect whilst we were still together as looking back the warning signs were there...., and got pregnant to him before our divorce was even through. I went through a spell of spying on them on facebook but like others have said, it was not healthy for my mental well being and besides... it was nothing to do with me (none of my business).

it hurt at the time but now i am married with someone far better suited to me and with a kid of my own. Sometimes these things ultimately can work out for the best but that does not negate the pain at the time.

looking back now i am more angry at my mate than i was my wife.........

lean on your friends a bit and give it some time.
 
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ttaskmaster said:
She left you because you had a stroke?
What a ****....!!

On the other hand, she is some other idiot's problem now and, having fallen for the trap, he'll have to deal with her BS while you have dodged that particular bullet.
Think of all the bad **** you no longer have to put up with... then forget it all and decide what you'd like to get up to today!!
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Some people can't cope. It's very hard for my step dad living with my mum and her crippling depression.
I struggle a lot with my gfs medical issues. It means I do so much alone. And it does make me quite sad that I do.
Its takes your life as well.
Its such a hard decision, and it's emotive. So you can't make yourself feel differently.

People always say "leave if you aren't happy". So what do you do? It's a horrible situation. So horrible. I'm sure there's many people who stay together out of guilt and many who leave and many who stay because they want to.
 
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All sorts of very good advice in here. Its gonna suck. Its gonna feel like a kick in the nuts.
Use this as a moment to be more you. As has been said, learn something. Find something you've always been curious about just dive in to it.
 
I have some good news, 42% of marriages in the UK end in divorce.

In a few years she'll probably take him for half of everything and the family home.

feel sorry for the poor guy, he's next in line to be in a similar situation as yourself.
 
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bloodiedathame said:
Second marriages have an even higher divorce rate!
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Better just getting yourself a companion that you share interests with but both agree not to worry about the marriage thing.. only get hitched for the pension/tax at the last moment :D

A mate's dad had a mistress in the UK, a mistress in Bermuda.. got hitched to the Bermuda babe who then ran off with a large chunk of the inheritance.
 
randomuser69 said:
You need something else to occupy your mind. Do what you loved doing before meeting her.
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Absolutely! for my 1st separation a mate and I built an arcade machine from scratch. it's ace, I always wanted one. I told my 2nd wife if we split I was gonna get / build a full size digital pinball table ..... I gave up waiting and got one anyway a few years back :D

(not trying to make light of it but am just trying to agree and confirm it helps in as good a way as possible)
 
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Yep delete Facebook look forwards not backwards. Your life took a huge change, **** happens, you gotta just get on with it
 
Noxia said:
I know some people like to make light of these posts but I genuinely get concerned about OP's mental state and what may become of it.
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Thank you for the concern, I can't kill myself with only one hand though! a man can only drink so much coffee!
 
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Threepwood said:
I'm an admin for the biggest group of a certain subject in the world,
I take that pretty seriously, so I can't
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middle ground - unfriend everyone except close friends and family
but tbh, when I deleted fb I was also an admin, I just made a new account and swapped the admin over, and never friended anyone.
it's also kind of a security feature that people can't try to social engineer you by sending you a friend request that seems like someone you know - because you never under any circumstances friend someone on that account.
 
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Threepwood said:
Aimlessly browseing facebook, when a mutual friend's photos of my ex's wedding came up, so I'm sad now, I thought she was the one for me, it was meant to be us, not them, but I guess if she and I were meant to be, then I'd never had the stroke, and lost her in the first place!
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Chin up, mate! Tomorrow's a new day.

Seriously, look after yourself and if you need to talk, we're all here for you.
 
throwaway4372 said:
middle ground - unfriend everyone except close friends and family
but tbh, when I deleted fb I was also an admin, I just made a new account and swapped the admin over, and never friended anyone.
it's also kind of a security feature that people can't try to social engineer you by sending you a friend request that seems like someone you know - because you never under any circumstances friend someone on that account.
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This is the answer.
 
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