How important is your relationship / family / career / social life / hobby to you?

[KittensCake]

Importance for each on a scale of 0-10

Relationships - 0/10

Family - 9/10

Career - 3/10

Social life - 3/10

Hobbies - 10/10

 

[[DOD]Asprilla]

Good friends tend to last longer than good relationships on average.

Good friendships can be put down and picked up again, that's what defines them as being good.

I've got mates all over the UK and I worked it out that I see them maybe every 3 months. I've also got mates who live all over the world and I'm lucky if I get to see them every three years.

However, I know that if I needed any of them or if they needed me we'd be there for each other.

You can see by looking at the ages and situations of the posters here tha most people start out putting their family first, then move on to mates and then onto relationships, returning to mates if the relationship screws up or family when they have their own.

Balance is great, but your priorities can and do change over the course of your life.

 

[thesubstitute]

I like this topic, its something I put a lot of thought into.

I definitely subscribe to balance, but the weightings sometimes change.

Up until this point I have tried to form a foundation of Career, family, friends and Personal Health (fitness etc) in my life.

Those things come first. If I feel I am on top of those, I am comfortable exploring relationships and hobbies/interests.

I dont really know if thats the best way of going about it, look forward to others' comments.

That's an interesting expansion to the principle of balanced life, and I'd agree to an extend regarding exploring relationships when you feel on top of the other aspects.

I certainly went through a period of my life purposely staying single because I didn't feel content enough with how things were going in other areas. My belief was that it's inevitable that I'd destroy a potentially beautiful relationship if my life wasn't going well. I was most reluctant to the idea of developing a dependency on a relationship.

However, I've changed a little since, and feel that if someone comes along that I do like, I wouldn't ignore the opportunity to do something about it. While I might not be on top of my life at the time, and I might damage the outcome of a relationship - it's better than to miss the opportunity entirely.

Obviously if everything in my life has fallen apart and I'm in a vunerable state, I'd deter myself from starting anything. But I think I need to be prepare to take chances with relationships.

For me my career has the lowest priority, maybe because I don't enjoy my job. I earn enough to do everything I currently want to do so money is not really an issue (not that I'm rich by any stretch of the imagination!)

I like to think to myself that possessions don't matter but I do like to "treat" myself to a new gadget or bits for my hobbies (buying bits that are more than I realistically need to do the hobby)

Social life, Relationships and Hobbies all have the highest importance, not sure I could cope if one of them were to be voided from my life.

For me, career and job isn't the same thing - mostly because my job is nowhere near my ambition of a career. However I do enjoy my job despite that. Never imagined I'd get into it on the first place, but it's a feel good job with lovely colleagues that I enjoy spending time with. So it's a win win for me

Careerwise I want to get into film making, which is a strong enough passion for me, spending all my idle time working on my stories in my head. Tricky to go further without some major networking though

 

[krooton]

Good friendships can be put down and picked up again, that's what defines them as being good.

I've got mates all over the UK and I worked it out that I see them maybe every 3 months. I've also got mates who live all over the world and I'm lucky if I get to see them every three years.

However, I know that if I needed any of them or if they needed me we'd be there for each other.

You can see by looking at the ages and situations of the posters here tha most people start out putting their family first, then move on to mates and then onto relationships, returning to mates if the relationship screws up or family when they have their own.

Balance is great, but your priorities can and do change over the course of your life.

I know, I have mates who I don't see for 6 months, but then when we do it's like we've never been apart, it's great.

The relationship aspect obviously changes when engagements/marriage come into play, as does family once you start your own, but being a recently ex-engaged guy, my priorities lie with my friends at the moment (family aren't in this country).

 

[Abraham]

Relationship - For the past few years I've been somewhat take it or leave it, I think i've probably just not found the right girl or whatever but it wouldnt make a great deal of difference to me if I lost my gf, when i split up with my ex it was for this reason and most of how upset I got was just for hurting her in that way

Family - Although I dont have a great deal of contact with my family, see them every few months, speak on the phone once every couple of weeks, I cant really imagine them not being there, my parents have recently seperated and it's made me think about future things like xmas's which are always a big event with my mums side of the family, and now i cant see my dad will be involved in that event, but i still cant really imagine it, time will tell i guess, but they are very important to me

Career - I have a job I enjoy, I actually have several that I enjoy for different reasons, but other than the financial impact I dont know how bothered I'd be about losing my main job, the most I'd worry about would be the reason for losing it and whether it would affect my future opportunities, my second job on the other hand I'd be more emotionally upset if I lost it, I really enjoy it and that's pretty much the only reason I do it, obviously I get paid, and fairly well at that but I do it as a hobby really.

Social Life - I'm not sure about this really, I've lost a friend who I barely had any contact with but knew he was a solid deep down friend, and that really cut me up, I can handle having limited contact with certain friends because I know that when I see them it's like nothing's changed from when I see them every day, but overall my friends are important, I'd put them above my gf, but I wouldnt tell her that

Hobbies - I'd be sad if i couldnt do any one of the things I spend my spare time doing (including as mentioned my other job) but I'd get by, and probably just spend more time on the other things or with my friends

 

[Andeh]

well I wont ramble on about my life, but on a scale of 1 to 10 this is how I rate things:

Relationships - 2/10

Family - 4/10

Career - 6/10

Social life - 9/10

Hobbies - 10/10

Apparently im a very "cold" person, if that makes sense. So when it comes down to a relationship, I tend to not put a lot of effort into it, and I don't attach myself to that person. That way if it all goes pear shaped, I don't end up in shambles. Maybe thats my downfall....

 

[Abraham]

Apparently im a very "cold" person, if that makes sense. So when it comes down to a relationship, I tend to not put a lot of effort into it, and I don't attach myself to that person. That way if it all goes pear shaped, I don't end up in shambles. Maybe thats my downfall....

I'm the same but I do try, I just dont really feel the attachment myself, possibly makes me worse because they get more attached :s

 

[Adsta]

Thing is aswell with this kinda topic, everyone reacts differently depending on the situation, ie how it broke/fell apart etc etc

on a side note how could you lose you hobbies

As for me
Relationships 5/10 - i just broke up with my gf upset for a bit but im fine and happily getting on so.
Family 8/10
Career 10/10 - im a bit of a workaholic, dispite writing this at work
Social life 3/10 - never really cared for friends i have my select few but otherwise a bit of a loner hehe but i dont mind. You can only trust on one person in the world i feel and thats number 1
Hobbies 8/10 - i like my hobbies

 

[thesubstitute]

Thing is aswell with this kinda topic, everyone reacts differently depending on the situation, ie how it broke/fell apart etc etc

on a side note how could you lose you hobbies

As for me
Relationships 5/10 - i just broke up with my gf upset for a bit but im fine and happily getting on so.
Family 8/10
Career 10/10 - im a bit of a workaholic, dispite writing this at work
Social life 3/10 - never really cared for friends i have my select few but otherwise a bit of a loner hehe but i dont mind. You can only trust on one person in the world i feel and thats number 1
Hobbies 8/10 - i like my hobbies

If your hobbies are rock climbing and cycling, like myself - not having a bike and not living near a rock climbing club can lead to losing it

 

[Adsta]

good point never thought of that

 

[krooton]

good point never thought of that

Or, say you get into a relationship, and she doesn't like you doing your hobbies, would you give them up for her?

There's a fine line, especially dependent on the hobby, but I don't think people should change what makes them them, to appease their partner, they should love you for who you are.

 

[MookJong]

I don't attach myself to that person. That way if it all goes pear shaped, I don't end up in shambles. Maybe thats my downfall....

Thats no way to live, you'll never find love if your holding yourself back like that man.....let go.


For me:
Relationship / Friends / Family / Hobbies > Work

 

[thesubstitute]

Family and friends come a distant second. For instance, I wouldn't let a friendship or family relationship stop me from moving to the otherside of the world for a job. In fact i wouldn't even consider them as influencing factors in the decision. I love my mates and family, but I haven't chosen to spend the rest of my life with them.

This I always find interesting - what people value the most? Family, Friends or Partner.

I suppose your partner IS your friend, and they're essentially family if you have kids together (of course one could argue where the line is).

Of course this revolves heavily around different factors:
- time you spend with each in a typical day / week / month / year;
- how they become a part of your life to begin with.

The first factor is obviously important but can be changed depending on your circumstances. I see my colleagues as friends, subsequently I spend more time with my friends than I would with a partner certainly if I was in a relationship.

On the other hand I might live with my family still and spend more portion of the time with them than friends / partner etc.

Of course time spent together could have an inverse effect on how much you care for them depending on the nature of the relationship.

This isn't even taken into account how long you've been with each category growing up. For me, family actually comes very low time wise since I grew up in a single parent family with no siblings.


The second factor I find also fascinating in that - you obviously don't choose your family because you're born with them. Many point out that you choose your friends - but I'd argue that you don't always choose them because you meet a lot of them through school, work and other friends. I certainly am not close to any of my school friends anymore since I went to uni.

Then with your partner, assuming you weren't married into an arranged marriage, I'd say it's very much your own choice. But then again, you could have met them through your friends / family / work, though you certainly are the one who makes the ultimate decision on sticking together.

The downer on that is of course - you can't really blame yourself for the family you're "stuck" with; and you can't totally blame having friends you might not like because they've simply been around all these years. Whilst with your partner, a bad relationship is pretty much all from your own direct decision, and it probably has a bigger impact if it falls apart than anything else.


I think I've long lost my train of thought and have started rambling...

 

[Adsta]

Some points made during the ramblings

 

[[DOD]Asprilla]

Snip.

My family are my family, love them or hate them there isn't a lot I can do about it.

My friends are people with whom I usually share common interests and an emotional bond based on shared experiences.

My wife is someone with whom I've deliberately entered into a mutual agreement of love, support and sharing until we die.

If my wife wasn't by far and away the most important to me then there would either be something wrong with my decision process or my value structure.

 

[Twinblade]

I gave up a very well paid 6 figure salary because I wasn't seeing my wife and daughter as much as I wanted. I was constantly sent all over the world on business, and because I was eager to impress I didn't turn the trips down, and my then employer realised this.

I now have a lowish paid job but have all my evenings and weekends back.

As a result I get all evenings and Saturdays, with the occassional Sundays to spend with my wife and daughter and I see my family (brothers/parents), friends on Sundays and participate in my own hobby (football) on a Sunday morning during the season.

It is clear from my choices that my wife and daughter are by far the most important people in my life, and they are followed by my family and friends. I put everything else below that.

The main thing is that I happy with my life now and wouldnt want to change anything about it.

 

[thesubstitute]

It is clear from my choices that my wife and daughter are by far the most important people in my life, and they are followed by my family and friends. I put everything else below that.

The main thing is that I happy with my life now and wouldnt want to change anything about it.

This reminds me of something a bit unrelated - empathatic people who finds joy in the happiness in people around them.

I certainly know of a couple of friends who put their friends and family above themselves, and it's from their happiness that they find joy. They still, far as I'm aware, use their free times on themselves, but would drop everything if anyone rings.

I can relate to that to an extend, but I differ in that I feel the need for personal time more so than they do.

 

[Adsta]

End of the day people will do what pleases them.
I've got friends who live and i mean LIVE on facebook and have their phones on at all times everyday. Just incase one of their friends wants to go out for a night out. Take either facebook away or break their phone they freak out Crazy.

Yet if their parents ring em they ignore it lol some ppl

 

[thesubstitute]

End of the day people will do what pleases them.
I've got friends who live and i mean LIVE on facebook and have their phones on at all times everyday. Just incase one of their friends wants to go out for a night out. Take either facebook away or break their phone they freak out Crazy.

Yet if their parents ring em they ignore it lol some ppl

I assigned an annoying traditional telephone ring tone for my flatmate just so that I know to ignore it. Since the only reason he ever called me was because he'd have forgotten his keys, and this was almost a weekly thing.

Then my manager at the time got pissy with me whenever my phone rang (even though her mobile phone was always ringing) and I put it on silent at all time - subsequently I failed to tell the difference...

 

[Adsta]

very odd