Is it weird I don't want kids at 32?

Lysander said:
The point of living is not to leave a legacy but to do the very best you can for yourself and yourself only.
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Come on dude, that's your view on it. Other people find comfort in knowing they are leaving something and someone behind.
 
Fubsy said:
I
(no one is ever going to own up to regretting having their child are they?! I bet it does happen)
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People do regret it and they do say so. My parents both told me I was a mistake and my mum went so far as to attempt to rectify that mistake. Needless to say, I have little or nothing to do with my parents.
 
Castiel said:
People do regret it and they do say so. My parents both told me I was a mistake and my mum went so far as to attempt to rectify that mistake. Needless to say, I have little or nothing to do with my parents.
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You see this is what I fear. I know that I have the capacity to be that cold which is why I have made my feelings clear to my current girlfriend over the matter. I would never want to do that to a person, but I feel I'd have no choice for my own sanity.
 
Lysander said:
The point of living is not to leave a legacy but to do the very best you can for yourself and yourself only.
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I would say that the point of life is to be a good person, not simply live for yourself and yourself only. That seems a very selfish way to approach life, I don't think I would be comfortable living like that.
 
Fubsy said:
You see this is what I fear. I know that I have the capacity to be that cold which is why I have made my feelings clear to my current girlfriend over the matter. I would never want to do that to a person, but I feel I'd have no choice for my own sanity.
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I know exactly what you mean, given my genetic stock for want of a better phrase, I worried about being a decent father for a long time, luckily I am nothing like either of my parents in that regard.
 
Castiel said:
I would say that the point of life is to be a good person, not simply live for yourself and yourself only. That seems a very selfish way to approach life, I don't think I would be comfortable living like that.
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"Don't be a ****" is how I live my life. Having great friends, sharing good times and enjoying laughs is what it's all about to me. If people say "Narj was a really decent bloke!" when I've popped my clogs then I'd say that was a success, really.
 
Narj said:
"Don't be a ****" is how I live my life. Having great friends, sharing good times and enjoying laughs is what it's all about to me. If people say "Narj was a really decent bloke!" when I've popped my clogs then I'd say that was a success, really.
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That's not a bad way to live your life, it isn't what Lysander said though.
 
Castiel said:
I would say that the point of life is to be a good person, not simply live for yourself and yourself only. That seems a very selfish way to approach life, I don't think I would be comfortable living like that.
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I wouldn't be comfortable like that but only because I've been programmed and I think Lysander makes a good point.
The majority of male animals don't have a care in the world and once a year try to get a shag and then bugger off again.
 
Dimple said:
I wouldn't be comfortable like that but only because I've been programmed and I think Lysander makes a good point.
The majority of male animals don't have a care in the world and once a year try to get a shag and then bugger off again.
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Not all, and are we not supposed to a social, civilised species, capable of empathy and cooperation?

Lysander's view of what the point of life is seems somewhat contrary to that, and I don't think it is because we have been programmed, it is simply because we are social and empathic creatures to one degree or another. I suspect that even Lysander cares enough for someone that his statement is somewhat hollow.
 
IMO if you have a wife then you might as-well have children?

For me it will be neither, only whores or random girls who i will never again speak to in my lifetime.
 
v0n said:
No, in this century, a planned parenthood is a pure lifestyle choice. Even if we leave alone the "pregnancy as a method to get more rooms and money out of powers that be" scenarios and focus purely on middle and upper class fully planned pregnancies. It is still a lifestyle choice, ie. you get a house, a car, a pet or a kid, or both and you make your life revolve around one or the other for number of years.

In planned scenario most people decide to have kids for no other reason than to complete set up of their nest/house, as an alternative person "to love" in ones life. In case of most families lifestyle choices follow career first, for a decade, then go into "house making" mode in second decade, to which gradually one adds a cat, a labrador, and up to two children. But also, to put it brutally, as a method of repairing the nest. As a reboot of the "love" element in "house" environment after relationship strain following the "career years". This scenario is very pronounced in UK where average age of middle class pre-planned parenthood age goes up with every decade, and now oscillates in late 30ies and early 40ies.

It's no longer "want" as a existential requirement (in the way you "want" and pursue things in life - ie. "I want roof above head and food on my table for my family"), it's "want" in lifestyle sense and in cold hearted clinical terms, it's relatively selfish one - you make a decision to follow that lifestyle, together with accessories to play it - estate cars or 4x4's, nannies and extra space in household dedicated to "it", while relying on the rest of society to maintain the health of, educate and provide your child with a job or purpose in the future at considerable cost of many not being able to afford this lifestyle in their lifetime.

All of the above make me sound like a heatless a-hole, and I hate myself for saying this, but in purely sociological terms, in 21st century, in our lifetime, as the society ages and the costs of maintaining 0-21 age group far outgrows costs of maintaining retired age group (happens already) we will see reverse of all policies surrounding children and encouragement to "have" children. Couples will be financially rewarded for not having one (already happens in some countries). And as soon as free education and financial support for children is revoked, "kid" lifestyle will be replaced with open top sports car and holiday homes as lifestyle choice.
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I pity. :(
 
Efour said:
v0n and Dolph should have kids, it would be an economical benefit to the collective.
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Would it though? Show me the maths/research you have done into this. Would an extra person be a useful resource commodity or ultimately another bag of useless chemicals raping the other chemicals? Who is to say that we need more workers anyway, we really need to slow down here, make rational choices based on socio-politico-economic circumstances, and not listen to the biological instincts that serve only as a mechanism to quash existentialist meaningless that plagues our limited linear perception and experience of life. What's the ultimate point if not individualism?

P.S. Under no circumstance would I condone a systematic eradication of 'tax distortion babies'. It would be unethical.
 
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Fubsy said:
I've held a baby once and it was one of the most disgusting experience of my life
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You've quite possibly given me the most hysterical moment of my life! :p

Fubsy said:
Also selfishness plays a part, I don't want to share a part of myself with a child of my own, I want to die knowing that I was the last part of me and nothing continues after that. It's a weird thought, but one I've had since my teens.

I sound totally crazy when I write this down!

(no one is ever going to own up to regretting having their child are they?! I bet it does happen)
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I would say that is slightly weird. Personally, I shy away from as much responsibility as possible but I find the thought of deciding to terminate a long lineage lends to itself a huge degree of responsibility in my mind. I know I will regret not having children (not for aforementioned reason I hasten to add).

But hey, apparently Newton declared on his deathbed that his greatest achievement was dying a virgin. Each to their own.
 
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I'm 32, nearly 33 and have zero desire to ever have kids. Through every phase of my life people used to tell me 'Wait and see, it'll change'. It doesn't. I don't think it will ever. I've never liked kids and find parents to be woefully ignorant when it comes to their little sprog. Every kid is almost the most smart, most beautiful thing that's ever been. Even when little Jimmy looks like a ginger alien and spend his day wailing and chewing his toe nails.

I've no desire to sit between other parents while they all lie to themselves. Not my scene.
 
Lysander said:
Yes, my parents went through quite a messy divorce and one that even now my dad talks about, much to my disgust. My two older brothers have no interest in having kids either. It's no secret our parents have screwed us up on that front but it's part of our programming, it'll never change
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Same here. We're 4 kids. All over 30, none of us ever wants kids. Dad was an absolute waste of space. I've never met a bigger oxygen thief in my life. I know it's harsh to say, but whether he lives or die, it makes no difference to any of us. The man couldn't have done a better job ****ing up his own life and that of his kids if he actively tried. He was just another mindless ape that had kids because everyone else was doing it without stopping for a second to think whether it was the right thing to do or not.

It's no difference today. Stupid, ignorant, entitled people with no prospects pump them without any regard of the cost and responsibility involved. Thankfully most people that have kids don't fall under that category.
 
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