I don't know if I want kids or not

McGraw

McGraw

McGraw

Soldato
Joined
16 Jan 2006
Posts
3,020
kinobestew123 said:
The best memories of my life so far (28 years) are all of having a great time with my parents and extended family (sister, aunties, uncles and cousins, etc). I can't really remember a lot of the places we've been as they're not important, it's who I was with that sticks in my mind. Absolutely nothing so far has beaten time spent with family having parties, days outs and Christmas.

We have our baby boy due in the next week or two and I can't wait to be able to do those same things with my own children.

When I'm 50-60 and my son is getting married, getting a car, getting a house, having children (my grandchildren), or doing whatever he chooses to do. I'll be looking on, and joining in, proudly. The fun family times will continue. I'll be surrounded by great loving people.

If you think a short break to Lisburn is better then I feel sorry for you.
Click to expand...

The theory sounds great but the risk of a life of digging them out of holes or having to look after them for the rest of your life badly put me off.
 

Tunney

Tunney

Tunney

Soldato
Joined
11 Oct 2004
Posts
14,549
Location
London
malachi said:
I have never met any parent who has said they regret having kids BUT I have heard the odd "I wish I waited abit longer to have them"
Click to expand...

No-one says they regret buying a GTX 1080 either. The investment they made is too great and they don't want to look like they made the wrong decision. They'd rather argue on Internet forums ad infinitum about how what they did was the best thing ever. :p
 

boxman2000

boxman2000

boxman2000

Soldato
Joined
10 Mar 2009
Posts
4,473
Location
South West
subbytna said:
Pro dad tip....wait until your mid 30's before starting a family. That gives you 15 years from when you are 20, to do things you want to do while you're young.
Click to expand...

Trouble is, I have a 4 month old and just turned 37... I don't seem to bounce back the same way I did with our first when I was closer to 30.

For a woman it is actually more of an issue the older she is and complications are quite common after 35 years, so is definitely worth considering.

Ultimately the decision is yours and there is absolutely no right or wrong answer. All I know is I really wasn’t ever bothered by kids (I’d never held a baby until I held my first) and I had a nice fancy car, went on nice holidays with the missus and it was a bit of a reality check when kids came along. I spent my entire birthday weekend with my daughter puking up into a bucket and my son screaming his head off every now and then due to teething, but those are not every day and in all honesty the joy I get from seeing my children growing up, learning, making friends and just having great family times, they make up for the harder days 10x over.

I wouldn’t trade having kids for an ‘easier’ or more affluent life, now I have them, but not everyone is geared for having children and I know several people that would admit themselves to be far too selfish to consider sharing their life with children – that’s their choice.

All I would say is don’t let the more negative stuff put you off as the positives really do outweigh the negatives.

One last tip. If you are waiting until you can afford to have children then you will never have them. Kids are as cheap or expensive as you allow them to be. They eat what we eat, wear hand-me-downs or second hand stuff (which quite frankly there is nothing wrong with at all) and they really don’t care about going to Disney when they’re 3 years old, they will remember the quality time you spend with them making mud pies in the back garden.
 

Ayahuasca

Ayahuasca

Ayahuasca

Caporegime
Joined
23 Apr 2014
Posts
29,475
Location
Dominating rooms with symmetry
subbytna said:
Pro dad tip....wait until your mid 30's before starting a family. That gives you 15 years from when you are 20, to do things you want to do while you're young.
Click to expand...

Then you'll have to find a younger wife/partner as many women don't want to wait till mid 30's to have kids, with a lot of them believing the child will be born with mental/physical disabilities which isn't surprising with statistics like this: But there is one key risk factor for Down syndrome: maternal age. A 25-year-old woman has a 1 in 1,200 chance of having a baby with Down syndrome; by 35, the risk has increased to 1 in 350
 

platypus

platypus

platypus

Caporegime
Joined
25 Jul 2003
Posts
40,104
Location
FR+UK
Angilion said:
I think that if you don't know you want kids then you probably don't want kids. It's not really a "maybe" kind of thing.
Click to expand...
I think it is a maybe thing, unfortunately you can't know until you've had them.

Do I want kids? Well one down and one probably on the way and I'm still not sure. Infuriating and amazing at the same time though.
 

Tunney

Tunney

Tunney

Soldato
Joined
11 Oct 2004
Posts
14,549
Location
London
Ayahuasca said:
Then you'll have to find a younger wife/partner as many women don't want to wait till mid 30's to have kids, with a lot of them believing the child will be born with mental/physical disabilities which isn't surprising with statistics like this: But there is one key risk factor for Down syndrome: maternal age. A 25-year-old woman has a 1 in 1,200 chance of having a baby with Down syndrome; by 35, the risk has increased to 1 in 350
Click to expand...

A lot of serious physical disabilities can be screened at an early stage. We had a test for Down's syndrome at 10 weeks and I believe it's even available on the NHS now.
 

francky

francky

francky

Associate
Joined
7 Jun 2011
Posts
1,650
I'm 31.....my Mrs is 26.....just bought a 4 bed house in preparation for starting a family in the near future......thing is like you, me and my Mrs aren't particularly keen on Kids....she is not very maternal and we are both very money focused in our careers, but then also both agree that never having children would probably be a big regret as we get older.

So we have decided to get a Dog first which will give us some responsibility, bar just looking after ourselves and then think about kids in the next 2 years.

From our point of view, money isn't the issue.....it purely a selfish idea of not being able to do whatever you like, when you like and also hearing colleagues in the office talking about only having 2 hours sleep, as they were kept all night by their kids or woken up early on a Saturday morning, sends shivers down my spine! :D
 

413x

413x

413x

Caporegime
Joined
13 Jan 2010
Posts
32,574
Location
Llaneirwg
francky said:
I'm 31.....my Mrs is 26.....just bought a 4 bed house in preparation for starting a family in the near future......thing is like you, me and my Mrs aren't particularly keen on Kids....she is not very maternal and we are both very money focused in our careers, but then also both agree that never having children would probably be a big regret as we get older.

So we have decided to get a Dog first which will give us some responsibility, bar just looking after ourselves and then think about kids in the next 2 years.

From our point of view, money isn't the issue.....it purely a selfish idea of not being able to do whatever you like, when you like and also hearing colleagues in the office talking about only having 2 hours sleep, as they were kept all night by their kids or woken up early on a Saturday morning, sends shivers down my spine! :D
Click to expand...
Same ages as me and my gf.
But we're not money driven, but everything else holds true. We also want a dog each, but would like to stop there. It would also cause money worries. Along with my natural worries it wouldnt be a pleasant situation.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom