I'll go
I posted this before on ocUK but it is worthy of this thread and hopefully sparks others involvement...
My first strip club experience in Port Elizabeth, South Africa when I was 18 (total truth and probably not that kid friendly)
Arrived at the downtown, small, seedy joint with 2 of my best mates. Bouncer frisk, pay and we go in
You walk in and there's a bar along the left wall which leads to a square stage, mirrored wall on 3 sides with couch benches on the perimeter and a pole in the middle with music, lights n all that jazz
We order drinks and take a bench seat, acting cool (this is normal, relax) and start watching whats being shown on the tv screens up top of each corner of the stage...
The WEIRDEST pron movie we've ever seen! Guys stroking their leg which turns into a massive dong, dudes with double penises which ejaculate at the same time, nipples 3 inches long etc... I'm still scarred!
We were early and after around an hour, with most of the benches now occupied with other blokes (no eye contact!), the first pole dance begins. During the routine the girl comes over and grabs my mate (he's the Italian stallion, mafia connections, lives on a farm, presses his own bullets for his guns, bodybuilder yada yada... girls fornicated over him). She sits him down on a chair in the middle, lies across his lap and prompts him to pop ice cubes up her woowoo - which he obliges with incredible finesse.
Other mate and I are like totally 'WTF!'
Afterwards he sits down all nonchalant (she was quite hot, the barsteward!), her act finishes and we continue chatting, acting cool, watching the weirdo pron that's resumed whilst waiting for the next routine to begin.
A woman approaches me and says she's performing the next pole dance routine and would I mind if she pulled me up (I'm thinking ice cubes so yeah!) and can she pull my trousers down leaving my undies on. I'm now totally not so keen but my mates are like come on man, come on, aaah don't be a wuss etc. I look around and observe it's just other blokes around, I'll still have my undies on, hot naked chick! what the hell I reluctantly agree.
We continue to chat and be a gasp at the pron, me getting more and more nervous.
Her act begins, she does her thing then comes over and pulls me up, me acting all shy yet dominating.
She does the following all while still dancing sexily around me, she takes my shirt off and continues to 'floss' herself before tossing it aside, kneels in front of me, grabs the top of my trousers and in one movement pulls
everything down to my ankles.
It's at this point I realise I have massive stage fright, the smallest shrivly in the world and random older blokes all staring at me with my mates creasing themselves up. It takes all I have, to try own the situation and stand there for the next 2 minutes (felt like an eternity) in all my glory while she finishes up her routine (no ice cubes
)
Her routine ends, the lights get brighter, I pull up my stuff and she's all like well done etc etc. I can't really remember things are blurry now.
I grab my shirt from the stage floor, walk over to my mates, who are still canning themselves and say, "We're outta here!"
I can't bear to look at any of the other blokes on the way out for pure embarrassment (what if they wink at me AAAARGH). Swiftly walking past the bar towards the exit, all the other pole dancers are there and pinch my bum on the way out - "Hey sexyyyyy."
We get back to the car and drive towards the beach area to find a club - then all of a sudden we're all like '**** me what's that fishy smell!' and realise it's my shirt
Another toe curling story would be from the perspective of the other blokes around the stage at the time lol
