Elderly Parents and subscription services

cyber69 said:
Elderly parents need auditing once every couple of years, IRS style to see what direct debits are going out.
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I know you’re joking but that’s exactly what needs to happen - and then hit the companies fleecing elderly people with fines galore. Won’t happen obviously but it’s what’s needed.
 
Thekwango said:
I know you’re joking but that’s exactly what needs to happen - and then hit the companies fleecing elderly people with fines galore. Won’t happen obviously but it’s what’s needed.
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We would love to go along to a post office to pay or gas or electricity provider, water company all on the high street. Hand over a cheque. That ship has sailed.
 
Yes, found out just recently that BT have been charging my Mother £50+ per month for a single land line into her house. Apparently it's been going on for for donkey's years. Mum is 80, has recently been diagnosed with multiple myeloma and is currently undergoing chemotherapy.
 
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Hagar said:
We would love to go along to a post office to pay or gas or electricity provider, water company all on the high street. Hand over a cheque. That ship has sailed.
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My folks are the same - both in their early 80’s but perfectly capable other than they both struggle with talking to strangers on the phone. Thankfully I deal with all their phones, broadband, tv, insurances etc on their behalf to get them the cheapest deals otherwise they’d be getting shafted like a lot of elderly folk.
 
It's called the loyalty tax, where the longer you stay with a provider, you get stung. I eventually wised up in 2019 when Virgin Media's yearly price hikes were becoming too big to ignore, so I switched providers. I needed help / encouragement from a friend on the admin side of things, so the OP could help his Dad in this way, maybe via a local relative acting as a proxy.

I can't justify paying anywhere near £114/month for any sort of TV package (at £1368/year!) when a standard TV license only costs £87.25/year for the legally blind like me and probably the same rate for a pensioner at 80.

P.S. What has Sky got to do with BT? I'm pretty sure BT has its own TV packages, so I Googled it, and indeed they do. The AI overview said that they rebranded to EE TV and it includes TNT Sports and NOW Movies. Maybe it also offers Sky Sports and that's where the BT-Sky crossover comes from?

Edited for grammar.
 
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bloodline76 said:
My Dad is 80 this year, he lives the other side of the country and its difficult doing things for him. He recently called up BT and asked if he could get the darts on his Sky, he cancelled a while back as it was too much for him.

His situation is that he has cancer and dementia (Early signs), and literally started the conversation telling them about his problems. And I found out that they have put him on a £114 per month package. He has been with them since 2016, so its not any extension of his current deal. This also includes having a phone line and paying for his calls.

Its a difficult discussion to have trying to convince him or explain to him that he can go to other providers for probably have the cost but its stressing him out.

Has anyone experienced a similar thing with their parents/grand parents?

He has 14 days cooling off, going to try contacting BT, but appreciate any advice if someone has been through the same.
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As bad as Indian scammers these clowns :( Hope you get sorted for your dad.
 
Thekwango said:
My folks are the same - both in their early 80’s but perfectly capable other than they both struggle with talking to strangers on the phone. Thankfully I deal with all their phones, broadband, tv, insurances etc on their behalf to get them the cheapest deals otherwise they’d be getting shafted like a lot of elderly folk.
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We are both quite good at phones and chats. We pay £37pm for landline and 65gb broadband, we just have free view TV and catchup no packages or subscriptions, everything else we manage fine and use comparison sites also comparing with friends and family.

We also hang up on calls we don't recognise.
 
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Used to really annoy me when you find out someone has kept a contract that they know they are overpaying and then you put their postcode into uSwitch and they could get fiber from multiple suppliers! You then explain that they could switch every 2 years and save hundreds of pounds but that's "too much effort" so just continue to get ripped off. One person I knew was paying £120 a month for basic broadband and phone..
 
Dis86 said:
Can't stress it enough as someone who worked on the inside, these companies do it on purpose. They're scum.
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It isn't just the likes of ISP's either, any sort of breakdown or insurance cover from companies like the AA will fleece the absolute crap out of people. They function on renewals and ignorance, people sign up for X service and after a year the prices spike, and then they do so again after another year. It's older people who are less likely to realise, I've seen bank records for people in their 80's that spent £150-300 + a month on breakdown cover or ISP/Entertainment services etc they literally did not need or ever use. In relation to the breakdown cover, many hadn't even owned a car let alone driven one in half a decade but were conned into the idea they could apply it to family/friends breakdowns.

There's a shocking lack of proper regulation for how a lot of industries operate, and the FCA are a wet rag of failure in that regard. Every time they put their foot down on X or Y the companies blurring the lines pay the fine (max 250K last I checked), and shuffle along a little to keep blurring lines because they made mega bucks far outstripping the maximum potential fine. Someone involved might get token fired/asked to politely resign before immediately getting hired into a similar position elsewhere. These companies actually benefit from it as it gives them a credible argument to cut bonuses from low level staff, aka the points of entry/call centre people on minimum wage that you get to talk to after wasting an hour of your life on the phone listening to dodgy music.
 
Green flag have twice accepted my suggestion that as we now owned a new car the original quote of £59 per year should remain unchanged. I will try it again in January. The car will then be three years old. I however am only 73.
:D
 
Shift them all to your own name where you can.

Organize a joint account with the agreement of siblings and use that to control everything.

Do not leave it late, it becomes impossible to change anything if they have an official diagnosis.
 
Oh yeah had similar problems with mum had no end of fun sorting that stuff out. Even had to tidy up after a nearly successful scam attempt or two. She at least was pretty good about it she left it up to me when it came to making decisions about it rather than resisting everything.

Hagar said:
We are both quite good at phones and chats. We pay £37pm for landline and 65gb broadband, we just have free view TV and catchup no packages or subscriptions, everything else we manage fine and use comparison sites also comparing with friends and family.

We also hang up on calls we don't recognise.
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That... still seems excessive I grumble when I get my £27pm landline bill for the maximum my line will support.
 
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bloodline76 said:
Yes, I have considered this.

Power of attorney would be probably the best, but I would have those issues that you mention. I am not a single child, so there is already a sign of people arguing over inheritance, and there is the problem that with dementia my Dad doesnt understand that as a problem and being a strong character would reluctantly accept that is a problem.
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I feel for you.

My dad died earlier this year after years of severe dementia and my mum has dropped off a cliff mentally since then, almost as though she'd been holding it together to care for dad.

As you say everybody is different, dad was easy to deal with in that he accepted his position in many ways and, as mum had always run the household anyway, was fine with having decisions taken out his hands and being told he couldn't do things any more.

TBH I don't like my mum much any more, we obviously love her and still try and do the best for her (I'm 1 of 4) but god she makes it hard. Every thing you try and do to help her manage her condition is taken as criticism and she gets belligerent, angry and verbally agressive.

Have you got an official diagnosis of dementia and a lack of capacity? That will help smooth the path to POA and may help with managing your dad.

We took mum's car keys off her because she was dangerous and kept getting lost. Absolute hell broke loose, accusing us of being cruel and vindictive, telling us dad would be disgusted with us, etc.

We finally agreed to give them back if she passed a driving assessment, which she failed. But having a professional outside the family tell her that, rather than us, made her listen to reason and also took the blame away from us and has made it easier to manage her anger.

Edit re: POA, yes getting it in place is easier before diagnosis, but sometimes not possible because of the personality of the person, when I say what I say I mean more from a managing the person perspective than the legal situation.
 
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It's worth going though all the accounts. I thought my parent was on top of everything even (no dementia) but wasn't simply got too much for them. I had a assumed a sibling still living at home was helping but discovered they weren't.
 
Hagar said:
We are both quite good at phones and chats. We pay £37pm for landline and 65gb broadband, we just have free view TV and catchup no packages or subscriptions, everything else we manage fine and use comparison sites also comparing with friends and family.

We also hang up on calls we don't recognise.
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That seems very expensive..
 
InHuman said:
Used to really annoy me when you find out someone has kept a contract that they know they are overpaying and then you put their postcode into uSwitch and they could get fiber from multiple suppliers! You then explain that they could switch every 2 years and save hundreds of pounds but that's "too much effort" so just continue to get ripped off. One person I knew was paying £120 a month for basic broadband and phone..
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My mum is usually good in that she'll get me to buy her laptops but she'll randomly also do things herself without checking.

That's why she's half way through a three year phone contract for a mid range Samsung paying for more data allowance than even i'd get through. :rolleyes:
 
Get power of attorney sorted. I have it for both my father and mother, my mother has it for my father as well. Father is on the something or other register so basically can't actually sign up for anything legally, and for things like energy they're on tariffs that rather than just go up and up the company has to put them automatically on the best deals each time. I stuck them on a mobile internet deal, that again when the contract comes to an end they have to automatically put them on the best available deal.
 
wesimmo said:
I feel for you.

My dad died earlier this year after years of severe dementia and my mum has dropped off a cliff mentally since then, almost as though she'd been holding it together to care for dad.

As you say everybody is different, dad was easy to deal with in that he accepted his position in many ways and, as mum had always run the household anyway, was fine with having decisions taken out his hands and being told he couldn't do things any more.

TBH I don't like my mum much any more, we obviously love her and still try and do the best for her (I'm 1 of 4) but god she makes it hard. Every thing you try and do to help her manage her condition is taken as criticism and she gets belligerent, angry and verbally agressive.

Have you got an official diagnosis of dementia and a lack of capacity? That will help smooth the path to POA and may help with managing your dad.

We took mum's car keys off her because she was dangerous and kept getting lost. Absolute hell broke loose, accusing us of being cruel and vindictive, telling us dad would be disgusted with us, etc.

We finally agreed to give them back if she passed a driving assessment, which she failed. But having a professional outside the family tell her that, rather than us, made her listen to reason and also took the blame away from us and has made it easier to manage her anger.

Edit re: POA, yes getting it in place is easier before diagnosis, but sometimes not possible because of the personality of the person, when I say what I say I mean more from a managing the person perspective than the legal situation.
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Sorry to hear that. Hang in there.

POA is not likely to happen I am one of 4 as well and the others dont seem to care too much, but do when inheritance is mentioned. It would cause my dad too much stress, and as he has cancer and struggling with that at the moment, he doesnt want the extra pressure.

I am trying to get his account details so I can be an account manager, but my older brother wont speak to me (Who will have the second account), and my dad doesnt know the username/password or the email address details.
 
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