Free ads fun!

Scuzi · 22 Apr 2006 at 18:04

Make the most of your free ads paper and get a laugh out of it. I've been engaging in the practice of strange ads for a while now and they can bring amusement to thousands of readers. Some examples of ads I have placed are below.

DIY section
ONE SCREW - 1 silver coloured screw in good condition, self tapping with a star head. 3" long. Only used once. Suitable for hanging a picture. £1.50

Lost & Found
LOST SWARM OF BEES - Swarm of bees last seen in the Portadown area. Roughly 1000 in total. £5 reward for their safe return.

Clothing
ONE SLIPPER - One brown slipper in used condition. Has a few holes and the sole is coming off at the front. Otherwise a decent slipper. Offers around £20

The phonecalls are hilarious too. One guy called about the screw acting deadly serious...
"Do you think it would hold a 16" by 11" frame?"
"Aye it might do, but she might struggle"
"Ahh right, I was in the market for one of about 4" or so, thanks anyway"

Slipper caller...
"Hello I'm interested in the slipper you have in the paper, is it still for sale?"
"No I'm afraid not, a fella drove up from Dublin and picked it up this morning"
"Ahh right, that's grand, thanks anyway"

Give it a go, and while you're at it post your ads and phonecall experiences here.

Charlie Bravo · 22 Apr 2006 at 18:22

"Otherwise a decent slipper"

That cracks me up

Veritas · 22 Apr 2006 at 18:26

Haha classic. Might have to give this a bash

basmic · 22 Apr 2006 at 18:44

I've lost a swarm of bees - what's the number?

Luke · 22 Apr 2006 at 18:46

You're an odd fellow, aren't you?!?

Scuzi · 22 Apr 2006 at 18:51

emailiscrap said:
You're an odd fellow, aren't you?!?

Delightfully quirky

I never get bored now, I always find something amusing to do

basmic · 22 Apr 2006 at 19:02

emailiscrap said:
You're an odd fellow, aren't you?!?

You think this is bad? He's a right little queen in iSketch.

pyro · 22 Apr 2006 at 19:06

I don't see the mamogram you ungraitfull pig :mad:

Scuzi · 22 Apr 2006 at 19:07

pyro said:
I don't see the mamogram you ungraitfull pig

I don't want ugly munters calling me for a free feel! Maybe next week

Naffa · 22 Apr 2006 at 19:14

Hmmm.. I may actually have to give this a try. But Dublin.. for a.. come on

pyro · 22 Apr 2006 at 19:18

Scuzi said:
I don't want ugly munters calling me for a free feel! Maybe next week

Scuzi · 22 Apr 2006 at 19:27

naffa said:
Hmmm.. I may actually have to give this a try. But Dublin.. for a.. come on

The people who call aren't actually serious (I hope not anyway), they're in for the laugh too.

Make sure you post your results.

Spunj99 · 22 Apr 2006 at 19:49

WANTED
136 chinese men and 2 elephants for an elaborate prank. Please call 3578643.

Luke · 22 Apr 2006 at 20:20

Spunj99 said:
WANTED
136 chinese men and 2 elephants for an elaborate prank. Please call 3578643.

Robert Rankin? I know I've read that ad somewhere before (and it wasn't in a free ad paper!)

Spunj99 · 23 Apr 2006 at 15:57

emailiscrap said:
Robert Rankin? I know I've read that ad somewhere before (and it wasn't in a free ad paper!)

Can't remember. I think it was from Jimmy Carr live, the 1st DVD. :confused:

paradigm · 23 Apr 2006 at 16:00

OMG that is just class scuzi! Have some stars!

K.C. Leblanc · 23 Apr 2006 at 16:19

Wanted.

Flux Capasitor suitable for fitting to a 1982 delorean.
Please call before 1978, or I won't be in.