Soldato
"There's a hole the size of my fist in my exhaust manifold and I can't drive the car any further for fear of (a)deafening myself due to the noise (b)deadening myself due to the cabin being full of exhaust fumes."
Was driving across to our Belgian office on Tuesday and had made to halfway between Dunkirk and Lille, I was happily watching my Sat Nav tell me that France didn't infact exist (never trust your friend when he tells you that his TomTom has all the european maps on it) when the exhaust note changed from loud to "oh my God it's the armageddon" and within 5 seconds the cabin was full of fumes. Luckily I was only 1km from a petrol station so pulled in there getting the attention of at least 10 camera phones in the process (what was left of the exhaust was popping and burbling like mad). I had a quick check and it was pretty aparent that the car was going no further and I started to feel slightly smug.
Now at this point smugness was a strange emotion to feel but a mere 3 hours 30 minutes previously I had the foresight to allow my company to pay an extra £33 on top of my Eurotunnel ticket price to get me full European break down cover which otherwise I suspect I would have forgotten about. A quick call to the AA and 30 minutes later a very nice man with a low loader came and picked me up and took me to his depot where another very nice man with a taxi was waiting for me who took me to a very nice hotel in Aire sur la Lys where I proceded to do the only logical thing. Get very drunk on French wine whilst impressing a couple of local young ladies with my GCSE French (I tried to call Will (Freefaller) for a translation at one point but he had the foresight to have changed his number so didn't have the privilage of having me slur down the phone at him at midnight).
The next morning at 10am the AA phoned me to tell me that my car would have to be recovered to the UK and they would be providing me with a hire car so I had lunch with the locals and the same nice man with a taxi took me to the car hire place. Now as soon as I heard that I was getting a hire car I knew two things:
1. It would be French
2. It would have the least potent diesel engine possible
Imagine my horror when I was presented with a Renault Scenic II 1.5dci
All was not lost as despite my initial misgivings it turned out that the interior was reasonable and the driving position pretty good (for a van). Unfortionately the driving experience wasn't as pleasant, the power steering is massively over assisted and I managed to embarris myself the first time I used the brakes and nearly put my head through the windscreen. Onto the motorway and things improved, it comfortably cruises at 110-130kph and I even tried cruise control for the first time and quite liked it (as it kept my speed to 110-130kph rather than slightly more illegal speeds), coming off the motorway I was in for a huge shock, going round a long left hander at what felt like very safe speed I went over a small undulation in the road that the rear suspension totally failed to cope with and before I knew what was going on I'd applied opposite lock and caught the slide. Now having driving a mid engined, rear wheel drive car for nearly 2 years and 25000 miles and never had anything like that happen you can imagine that I proceded with MUCH more caution after that.
To be honest if this is what modern "generic" family cars are like then I'm rather tempted to get the snip when I get back to the UK so I never have kids (some would argue that it would be a good idea regardless). Whilst there is nothing wrong with the car all it does is get you from A to B with virtually zero involvment or fun. I can honestly say that I enjoy driving my 14 year old 1.1 Fiesta more.
Today I have the fun task of driving back to Calais to drop the hire car up, meet a low loader at the tunnel and try and convince Euro Tunnel that having a big hole in my exhaust is not a good reason not to let me on the train before driving off at the far end and having the car recovered back to a local garage.
Wish me luck
Was driving across to our Belgian office on Tuesday and had made to halfway between Dunkirk and Lille, I was happily watching my Sat Nav tell me that France didn't infact exist (never trust your friend when he tells you that his TomTom has all the european maps on it) when the exhaust note changed from loud to "oh my God it's the armageddon" and within 5 seconds the cabin was full of fumes. Luckily I was only 1km from a petrol station so pulled in there getting the attention of at least 10 camera phones in the process (what was left of the exhaust was popping and burbling like mad). I had a quick check and it was pretty aparent that the car was going no further and I started to feel slightly smug.
Now at this point smugness was a strange emotion to feel but a mere 3 hours 30 minutes previously I had the foresight to allow my company to pay an extra £33 on top of my Eurotunnel ticket price to get me full European break down cover which otherwise I suspect I would have forgotten about. A quick call to the AA and 30 minutes later a very nice man with a low loader came and picked me up and took me to his depot where another very nice man with a taxi was waiting for me who took me to a very nice hotel in Aire sur la Lys where I proceded to do the only logical thing. Get very drunk on French wine whilst impressing a couple of local young ladies with my GCSE French (I tried to call Will (Freefaller) for a translation at one point but he had the foresight to have changed his number so didn't have the privilage of having me slur down the phone at him at midnight).
The next morning at 10am the AA phoned me to tell me that my car would have to be recovered to the UK and they would be providing me with a hire car so I had lunch with the locals and the same nice man with a taxi took me to the car hire place. Now as soon as I heard that I was getting a hire car I knew two things:
1. It would be French
2. It would have the least potent diesel engine possible
Imagine my horror when I was presented with a Renault Scenic II 1.5dci
All was not lost as despite my initial misgivings it turned out that the interior was reasonable and the driving position pretty good (for a van). Unfortionately the driving experience wasn't as pleasant, the power steering is massively over assisted and I managed to embarris myself the first time I used the brakes and nearly put my head through the windscreen. Onto the motorway and things improved, it comfortably cruises at 110-130kph and I even tried cruise control for the first time and quite liked it (as it kept my speed to 110-130kph rather than slightly more illegal speeds), coming off the motorway I was in for a huge shock, going round a long left hander at what felt like very safe speed I went over a small undulation in the road that the rear suspension totally failed to cope with and before I knew what was going on I'd applied opposite lock and caught the slide. Now having driving a mid engined, rear wheel drive car for nearly 2 years and 25000 miles and never had anything like that happen you can imagine that I proceded with MUCH more caution after that.To be honest if this is what modern "generic" family cars are like then I'm rather tempted to get the snip when I get back to the UK so I never have kids (some would argue that it would be a good idea regardless). Whilst there is nothing wrong with the car all it does is get you from A to B with virtually zero involvment or fun. I can honestly say that I enjoy driving my 14 year old 1.1 Fiesta more.
Today I have the fun task of driving back to Calais to drop the hire car up, meet a low loader at the tunnel and try and convince Euro Tunnel that having a big hole in my exhaust is not a good reason not to let me on the train before driving off at the far end and having the car recovered back to a local garage.
Wish me luck
