Restricting kids to dont do stuff

snowdog · 9 Apr 2007 at 19:15

In responce to this thread, didn't want to hijack :

http://forums.overclockers.co.uk/showthread.php?t=17714806

Why would someone ever block msn to his 18(!!) year old son, I'm 16 and my parent's just let me do what i want as long as it's going fine in school.

But in the linked thread the guy is 18, doesn't that mean he's an adult, or is this different in the UK, here where I live if I'd be 18 i could tell my parents to go **** themselves if they'd block me off msn, as at the age of 18 they cant tell me anything as I'm an adult, I can do what i want, is somone who's 18 in the UK still restricted to listening to his parents :confused:

?

And even if so, why block him off msn, why not let him learn from his mistakes, if he wants to talk on msn all night than thats his choise sureley, not his parents?

Any comments are welcome, just wanting to start a discussion, no offence to anyone.

trojan698 · 9 Apr 2007 at 19:17

Fair enough him being 18, he should have the right to choose I guess. But there's nothing wrong with boundaries, parents don't just set them for hell of it.

Adam · 9 Apr 2007 at 19:21

From the other thread:

mondo said:
I need to limit my 18 yr old son off the internet. He stays up all night on msn usually upto 05.00am ! So i need to let him stay on upto 00,30 and not back on till at least 08.30.

Sounds like a good enough reason to me. Staying upto 5am on MSN is hardly productive, I would consider that a waste of life. Aged 18 you have a lot of oppurtunities available to you which I can't see being taken if someone is abusing MSN to that degree. Sounds like a fair proposal to me.

Anyway, if the parents pay the bills then they have the final say. Its as simple as that. Don't like it? Move out

Royality · 9 Apr 2007 at 19:22

They are probably doing it to help their child from becoming illiterate. Your title reflects how going on msn for too long can drive one MENTAL.

trojan698 · 9 Apr 2007 at 19:23

To be fair the OP's from the Netherlands.

danieln1 · 9 Apr 2007 at 19:24

Adam said:
From the other thread:

Sounds like a good enough reason to me. Staying upto 5am on MSN is hardly productive, I would consider that a waste of life. Aged 18 you have a lot of oppurtunities available to you which I can't see being taken if someone is abusing MSN to that degree. Sounds like a fair proposal to me.

Anyway, if the parents pay the bills then they have the final say. Its as simple as that. Don't like it? Move out

Don't like it? Move out

Like that! best answer to these types of questions if you ask me

snowdog · 9 Apr 2007 at 19:24

Isn't that that an adult's own choise though, how can you force an adult, being you kid or not, to force something, I think the likeley outcome will be that his kid will get his own pc and own internet (wireless laptop solution for example) and keep doing it, or move out.

trojan698 said:
To be fair the OP's from the Netherlands.

Yes, might have something to do with that as im almost drunk atm ( legal drinking age = 16 here)

Azagoth · 9 Apr 2007 at 19:25

Yeah, but at 18 they're not a child.

FakeSnake · 9 Apr 2007 at 19:26

Its quite likely the case, that the 18yr old is living at his parents.

I that situation, the Parent has laid down a rule, and would like a means of enforcing it.

If the 18yr old does not like the rules of the house, I guess they know what to do.

My house has rules, they are quite simple, but they are enforced. One example is no shoes in the house. All of my friends know this, and just do it. Even when MY parents visit they do it.
Its a matter of respect for the house owner.

for those that would say **** you and your rules... one question, prepared to move out to have the rules you want?

Adam · 9 Apr 2007 at 19:26

snowdog said:
Isn't that that an adult's own choise though, how can you force an adult, being you kid or not, to force something, I think the likeley outcome will be that his kid will get his own pc and own internet (wireless laptop solution for example) and keep doing it.

No. As I said, if he pays for the PC and internet access that opens up more of a debate. However, anyone who uses MSN until 5am doesn't deserve to be treated like an adult.

What business is it of yours anyway?

Chrisss · 9 Apr 2007 at 19:27

He lives under his parents roof, so they make the rules.

robmiller · 9 Apr 2007 at 19:29

Their house, their rules. He's 18, he can move out if he doesn't like it.

I'd expect anyone, adult or no, to obey the rules of the house they live in—it's common courtesy.

snowdog · 9 Apr 2007 at 19:32

Adam said:
What business is it of yours anyway?

Not, just wanting to know opinions.

Just couldn't believe what I was reading, if my parents would do something to me at that age i'd just go away and never speak to them again, there's this thing called mutual respect and trust, if they wouldnt give to me I wouldn't know what to do, you are making me believe you dont care about the rights of people (due to age) and you only look at what they do (in this case talk to people on msn all night).

The OP of the thread at top just (imo) makes it clear he has no respect for his son's action's and that he's just see-ing him as a little brat who can't think and has to be restricted/disallowed to something to stop making mistakes. ( ps. this is just what I'm thinking, now saying that it's true.)

The example with the no shoes in home doesn't make any sense, shoes leave marks and cause problems, what problem is there if your son sits by his pc at night while you are asleep, it doesn't give you any work (like cleaning shoemarks )

I suppose it is true if the parents pay for power and the net and its their pc, but isn't this an example of pestering your kids away from home, I as teenager know how much i hate being commanded/restricted around and i'm lucky I'm not.

Anyhow please keep the discussion chill, no offensive posts please.

Anewbe4u · 9 Apr 2007 at 19:34

robmiller said:
Their house, their rules. He's 18, he can move out if he doesn't like it.

I'd expect anyone, adult or no, to obey the rules of the house they live in—it's common courtesy.

Spot on.

Tute · 9 Apr 2007 at 19:35

Oh great, trolling. :rolleyes:

There is no right or wrong. You do what you think is right, and i'm sure other people will.

All you're doing is condemning someone for having what is effectively an opinion.

mightynimrod · 9 Apr 2007 at 19:37

snowdog said:
Not, just wanting to know opinions.

Just couldn't believe what I was reading, if my parents would do something to me at that age i'd just go away and never speak to them again, there's this thing called mutual respect and trust, if they wouldnt give to me I wouldn't know what to do, you are making me believe you dont care about the rights of people (due to age) and you only look at what they do (in this case talk to people on msn all night).

Anyhow please keep the discussion chill, no offensive posts please.

Sorry fella, your just looking at this from your perspective i.e a 16 year old kid.

Simple really, parents house, parents rules - irrespective of age.

When he owns his own property he can do what he wants.....but being on msn until the very late early hours it seems unlikely he will get a job to fund buying one.

As said before, rules aren't there just for the sake of it.

Mickey · 9 Apr 2007 at 19:39

Adam said:
However, anyone who uses MSN until 5am doesn't deserve to be treated like an adult.

How exactly did you come to that conclusion?

Puzzled · 9 Apr 2007 at 19:41

snowdog said:
Not, just wanting to know opinions.

Just couldn't believe what I was reading, if my parents would do something to me at that age i'd just go away and never speak to them again, there's this thing called mutual respect and trust, if they wouldnt give to me I wouldn't know what to do, you are making me believe you dont care about the rights of people (due to age) and you only look at what they do (in this case talk to people on msn all night).

Anyhow please keep the discussion chill, no offensive posts please.

So when your 18 and your parents tell you for example don't stay up all night playing loud music, or don't bring friends home in the middle of the night your just going to tell them to **** off yeah?

If you do that I can see you living on the streets pretty quickly.

It doesn't matter if your 18, 20 , 40 etc when you live under someone's roof you obey their rules. If that rule is don't stay up all night typing away then so be it.

Angus-Higgins · 9 Apr 2007 at 19:41

The thing about this style of problem is that parents will almost always have something to fall back on. Most children live in their parents' houses, and a lot use their parents' internet connection; thus, surely the parent can simply say that if the child does not like how they are being treated, they can move out.

If I had someone staying at my house and they were abusing the things I provide, i.e. internet connection, electricity supply, etc. then I would probably warn them before asking them to leave.

Angus Higgins

Mickey · 9 Apr 2007 at 19:43

mightynimrod said:
When he owns his own property he can do what he wants.....but being on msn until the very late early hours it seems unlikely he will get a job to fund buying one.

Complete rubbish.

Would he have a better chance of getting a job if he was spending his daytimes on MSN instead?