Feelings of superiority

AdamSee · 2 Aug 2007 at 22:37

I had a 'friend' through school, used to put me down a lot during those years. When he left school he chose to goto uni for 3 years. During that time, I spent much of it at home, teaching myself skills without any real formal education beyond poor As levels, to add to that I'm 3 time drop-out; sixth form, another sixth form and college.

In his last year at uni, I was at a point where I had very little money at all, but I knew where I was going and what I could achieve. During a visit to our home town August last year, he humiliated me in front of all my friends, I mentioned that couldn't afford to go on holiday this year. He retorted "Should have gone to uni then", indicating that I'd be going no where in life, and the whole group laughed. I knew where I was going and I that I didn't need uni to get there. I thought to myself... "just wait... a years time from now".

He failed uni, has tons of debt and ended up with a really crap job earning very little money. On the other hand, I'm doing exceptionally well. The problem is, next time I see him I feel like I won't be able to help myself in putting him down for all the past violations to my character.

It would be so easy to do, yet I know it's wrong. Why should I want to hit a man when he's down? Even if that man put me down? That's the honorable side of it. The conflicting emotional side is a great feeling of satisfaction if I were to do it and a closure to a friendship that never was.

Anyone been in a similar situation?

Noxis · 2 Aug 2007 at 22:39

Has tons of debt and ended up with a "what" job?

Myself and the department I work for are comfortable with our superiority, its not just a *feeling*

vincent1989 · 2 Aug 2007 at 22:41

just do it, you'll feel better, and he'll get some of his own medicine, and perhaps he will be less inclined to rub his higher education in your face next time you can't afford something.

Greenlizard0 · 2 Aug 2007 at 22:41

It's unfortunate that you feel that way about him. I think it's a case you've let him get away with such behaviour (which sounds bullyish). There are ways around it, I know this sounds vague but where there's a WILL there's a WAY.

I don't wanna sound condescending but brush it aside get on with it. If in the future you next see him getting out of a nicer car than he has then fair play

.

HaX · 2 Aug 2007 at 22:42

I've been in situations where other people have taken advantage of my misfortune by putting me down and making me feel bad about it.

Having been on the receiving end of such treatment, I would not want to dish it out to anyone else. I think it is totally unnecessary to point out the obvious, and totally deplorable to do so with the aim of humiliating someone.

It sounds like you are in more of a position to be able to point and laugh than he ever was. You are obviously the better man. Affirm this by refusing to stoop to doing what your "friend" did and try and offer him support in any way you can.

Jonny L · 2 Aug 2007 at 22:43

I don't think you should rub his face in it, perhaps you should be really nice about it, then he will reallise *** a ***k head he's been and feel really bad.

Wang Computer · 2 Aug 2007 at 23:11

Two options:

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Or...

Stop being so melodramatic and get on with your life.

lay-z-boy · 2 Aug 2007 at 23:14

Shove it in his face like this:

The_TailGunner · 2 Aug 2007 at 23:18

eh, rub his nose in it, laugh at him and call him a nob.

it isnt nice, but it'll feel good, and he did it to you...

and lets face it, its how you feel, and you may as well be honest with yourself.

TG

MookJong · 2 Aug 2007 at 23:30

Don't lower yourself, to be honest I wouldn't even want the guy in my life and I certainly wouldn't need to prove anything to him because he was always the looser by the sounds of it.

vincent1989 · 2 Aug 2007 at 23:33

he's an ex isnt he?

Dingo · 2 Aug 2007 at 23:40

Quiet contemplation over a beer with your "friend" is always most effective....say nothing and smile a lot......a dish best served cold methinks?!!

Toryglen-boy · 2 Aug 2007 at 23:41

if your nasty to him, he wil get over it, and feel justified in being an arse to you...

at this point, i would like to point you to the famed Aesop's fable, you know the one where the wind and sun have a bet to get the cape of the rider on the horse (please people, if you dont know it stay with me)

so the wind and sun are watching a ritching clutching onto his cloak, as he is riding accross the countryside to get home etc. and they make a bet, the wind says 'i bet you i can get that cloak from the riders back' and the sun says 'ok, your on' so the wind blows, and blows, and blows, and the riders clutches onto his cloak harder and harder, and the wind blows with all its might, and the rider holds onto his cloak harder and charges down, hanging onto his cloak with all his strength, so the wind stops, being knackered, and says 'i couldnt do it, your turn' and the clouds part, and the sun beams, does nothing ,but shines all nice and warm, and the rider stops, and lays down in the grass for a kip, and takes his cloak off

a bit bizzare i know, but the point is?

take quite satisfaction in knowing that you have done well, and beam with inner strength. This guy is obviously the wind (a load of hot air it sounds like) and just let him go about his business, you have nothing to prove to anyone other than yourself.

joeconway · 2 Aug 2007 at 23:41

i have a 'friend' who does that all the time to me, except its the other way round because he is the dropout and im the one going to uni :confused:

your guy will probably always feel superior because i've found that people will kid themselves into believing whatever they want

just dont bother as you would be fighting a losing battle and enjoy having got to where you are

Justintime · 2 Aug 2007 at 23:45

Shout to him how much hes a loser now and scream "I'M THE ALPHA MALE NOW!"

Nah, just don't do anything, you're the better man that you've even considered your response to him.

stickroad · 2 Aug 2007 at 23:50

lay-z-boy said:
Shove it in his face like this:

LOL LOL

Mr.Orb · 2 Aug 2007 at 23:53

Do it subtly, don't rub it in his face.

Chaos · 3 Aug 2007 at 00:56

Isn't Karma great

Forget about him and don't lower yourself to his levels.

AdamSee · 3 Aug 2007 at 01:17

I've considered the idea that it could contribute to his life by me causing total pain to him. You know you have those moments where you say 'NEVER AGAIN', the moments of clarity where your life turns around and you're compelled to action. It could be one of those.

He'll hate me of course, but he'll definitely have something to prove after. It would probably provide most benefit, or it could backfire and knock him down.

It's either all intensely or nothing.

TriedandTested · 3 Aug 2007 at 01:41

A year on and it still bothers you?

Yeah ok, say something to put him down in front of all your friends...it'll make you look as much as a muppet he did when he put you down.

Move on.