The "punctulolage" system (as named by myself)

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Vonhelmet

Vonhelmet

Vonhelmet

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Following on from the roaring success of Angus-Higgins' bracketing system last year, I am also proposing an amendment to communication via the written word. This system is an attempt to allow two diverse groups of people to compromise over their respective uses of the English language - to meet in the middle and find common ground in their writing styles.

Specifically, my system will allow the following two groups to communicate for the first time:

1) The so called "Grammar Nazis". People with an understanding of the English language, of spelling, punctuation and grammar. These guys know how to construct sentences. They typically have a strong vocabulary. They take pride in being able to make their point clearly.

2) The "morons", as I have elected to call them. People with no concept of the English language. While this might be understandable, nay even acceptable, for genuine idiots or people for whom English is a second language, these people have no excuse. They are lazy, incoherent and unclear. Capitalisation is random, punctuation absent, spelling generally woeful. Their speech is peppered with Internet chat style initialisms - lol, rofl, omg and the old favourite, wtf.

My system will attempt to bridge the gap between these two classes of people. My system, is punctulolage.

Punctulolage essentially operates by means of substitution, so any ordinary English sentence can be adapted to make use of punctulolage. Moreover, it should become clear that most sentences written by the morons can actually be fairly well interpreted by using punctulolage in reverse. I must confess that the system is not always perfect, and a Grammar Nazi will still occasionally confuse a moron, and vice versa, but it should provide sufficient assistance that each party is able to make a reasonable guess at what is being said.

The substitutions proposed (Grammar Nazi :: Moron) are as follows:

The comma "," :: lol
The full stop "." :: rofl
The question mark "?" :: wtf
The exclamation mark "!" :: omg

More substitutions will be put forward in the future, as the system develops. For the time being, it is worth noting that I have not devised a substitution for the apostrophe as I have no reason to believe that morons are aware of the existence of such a punctuation mark and I do not wish to cause them undue confusion.

Use of these substitutions should now provide sentences that are parsable by Grammar Nazis and morons alike. Morons can read sentences of a comparable standard to their own, and Grammar Nazis need only consult the legend above to translate quickly what is being said. Consider the following example conversation between Grammar Nazis A and B, and moron C:

A: Hi lol have you heard of punctulolage wtf
B: No lol what is that wtf
A: Well lol it's a new system of punctuation lol which will allow people like you and me to be understood by people like C rofl It's really clever omg
B: Wow lol sounds good omg How does it work wtf
A: Easy lol you just change your normal punctuation marks according to a simple system rofl I'll send you an e-mail with the details rofl
C: Hey guys rofl what an interesting conversation you're having rofl Can you copy me in on that e-mail too wtf
A: Sure lol will do rofl

See how easy it was for the moron and the Grammar Nazis to understand each other? No more will we need to be confused by one another! I believe this is truly a bold step into a brave new world, uniting people regardless of their grammar abilities! This could just be the greatest thing to happen to the English language since the semi-colon (NB substitute - lmao).

So lol embrace punctulolage lol and never again will we misunderstand each other omg
 
Love it omg

How long did that take to write wtf

Some of those do need to be added to the stupid filter lol it's been a while since it was updated rofl
 
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In my opinion, the whole spelling, punctuation and grammar sometimes gets out of hand a little too much.

Now, even though I am English, my spelling isn't great. However, I do use a spell checker before I post topics. My punctuation is ok but not brilliant but I do always use capital letters, commas, full stops and question marks and hopefully I use them in the correct way. As regards to my grammar, I have always struggled structuring my sentences and they can sometimes be difficult to understand. Though I do take my time to try and make them as clear as possible.

I don't mind other people correcting me and I hope they will as long as they do it in a friendly manner. There is no need to be nasty about it and make sarcastic remarks because in all honesty, it doesn't really help and ruins that particular thread.

I understand this is a computer forum and I don't think anyone should expect a really high level of English on these forums from every single member here. However, I think it is fair to say that everyone should at least put capital letters, commas and full stops in their sentences and use a spell checker, if not for the only fact that it is much easier for other members to read your posts. When I read posts and a particular member substitutes a word like "You" to "U", then in my opinion, that is just pure laziness.

Certain words like "Where" and "Were", "There" and "Their" etc, I can sometimes get them confused with each other. Though I do hope that my posts are always readable regardless of these silly mistakes. I have noticed that a few members on here can get quite aggravated if another member uses, for example "Where" instead of "Were". That's fair enough I guess but instead of getting angry and annoyed over something like this, correct the member in a friendly way. :)
 
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apostrophe_stickers.jpg
 
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