A little sister dilemma

ScottC

ScottC

ScottC

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26 May 2006
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I recently found out that my little sister, 15, is reguarly drinking in private at home. She's been keeping vodka under her bed and apparently drinking it when my parents are out. When I've been round the house a couple of times at weekends she's been in bed at like 2 in the afternoon; at the time I just put it down to teenage lazyness but thinking back now she must have been hungover. I just got back from a little reconaissance mission and found the bottle of vodka, 40% alcohol. It was virtually empty. I know she could get served. I'm pretty concerned, I appreciate underage drinking is something we all go through at parties etc. but if this is happening reguarly and is brought on by depression or whatever...

She's always been over-sensitive and quite prone to depression. Furthermore, I've always been protective of her and the long term implications of how I handle this delicate situation is the only thing that's stopping me from going round there right now and screaming in her face.

She doesn't know that I'm aware of this yet.

Would appreciate some advice.
 
Talk to her about it but don't try and lecture her. 15 year olds can be very difficult to talk to unless they feel as though you're on their side.

If you have no luck, then talk to your parents about it.

Either way, 15 years old is far too young to be drinking bottles of vodka on a regular basis and needs to be sorted.
 
Tell somebody.

I think the longer it goes on the worse the downward spiral (if she is depressed), which can only mean one thing :(

Can't you ask her why she's doing it.. Usually talking about these things helps, and can be the foothole she needs to get help.

Also, ask her to see the local GP, because if it's been happening for months then it's likely she's done some unwanted damage to her body, and may end up with problems further down the line

Hope that helps :)
 
Something most Teens go through with the whole drinking with mates, completely different issue if she is doing it alone as that could lead to problems.

Try and talk to her about it but not on the angle of stopping her drinking but more on what she is drinking and when.

Even offering to get her other drinks in preference and providing a suitable time and place to drink where it can be moderated may be a good idea.

It is certainly not the best drink to become 'used' to at that age from first had experience and alcohol should be a social experience at that age only.

She may be storing it for the next time she goes out, if that is a case just a word to be careful and only drink around people she trusts + any issue phone you and you will come and get her.

I would talk to her first and if there is any hint that she is using it as an 'escape' I would go to your parents, certainly see if you can try to sort it by just talking to her but any hint that its not getting through go and tell your parents.

Could become a nasty problem and addiction if it is not watched and associated to the wrong feelings.
 
I have been told by a boy who she is involved with that she has been drinking at home alone, he's seen her drunk over MSN messenger and contacted me as he's worried about her. And that she said something like she "drinks because of her pain", when I heard this I became extremely worried and am bouncing about in agitation at the moment not really sure what to do.
 
drinking alone regularly usually implies depression, unless shes just going through that teen stage where its "cool" to be drunk, but that tends to happen with mates

just talk to her about it, find out if shes just trying to "fit in" or is depressed...the answer to that will then lead to the appropriate remedy

if it is depression and it gets worse (self harming) get the counselors on the phone, unless you have a nack for being very persuasive and making her see the good side of life and all that counseling lark
 
Since my last post was in appropriate ill post a sensible one.

If you confront her about it dont dwell too much on the risks it has on her health, tell her about them so she knows but thats it. If shes depressed she wont care about the health risks all that much really.

If you really want to shock her and make her think the thing you tell her about is how it will effect her looks.

Tell her it will make her skin go all pimply and oily or dry. Tell her how her hair will become much weaker then it once was. Tell her that she will age quicker and get wrinkles quicker.
Just google the side effects it has on you outer body because 15 year old girls are vain and thats all they really care about.
Try it and see if that works :)
 
aye talking works, find the cause of the problem and then give some lecture about life being better yadda yadda, lifes to short, its not worth beating yoursefl up over it etc etc
 
Zip said:
If you really want to shock her and make her think the thing you tell her about is how it will effect her looks.
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I think that's bad advice. If someone is depressed, they generally have very low self esteem. Being told they are looking worse is not going to help the situation, and if anything spiral it even more out of control. The key to dealing with depression is encouragement, praise and reward, not shock tactics.
 
starscream said:
I think that's bad advice. If someone is depressed, they generally have very low self esteem. Being told they are looking worse is not going to help the situation, and it anything spiral it even more out of control. The key to dealing with depression is encouragement, praise and reward, not shock tactics.
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You dont tell her she is ugly you tell her if she keeps it up she will get ugly :)
 
You have to help her admit to herself that what she's doing isn't natural or healthy. Reprimanding her would only make situations worse. Discuss the underage drinking thing, and whilst acceptable (to an extent) at partys, is very worrying outside that context. It's also very important that you express your concern. good luck
 
I wouldn’t worry about it too much to be honest, since I was 14 I always had loads of alcohol under my bed/hidden, its totally normal.

I wouldn’t confront her about it if I was you, as you found the alcohol by routing through her stuff, which I don’t think she will appreciate, especially as she is 15 and trying to become more independent and wants more privacy.

Just ask her casually without accusations if she likes alcohol, obviously when you’re alone with her, not when your parents are there otherwise you may get a biased reply. If your close to her then she will most likely open up, then you can decide what’s the best action to take, its better for you to supply her with alcohol on strict guidelines, rather than you tell your parents which will most likely result in a big argument and she will most likely never share her thoughts/feelings with you again, telling your parents will just drive the ‘problem’ underground.

Remember you have no evidence that she is hangover when she gets up late, she may actually just be lazy/tired, I have a niece that stays up all the time until about 4 am in the mornings on the computer msn/web browsing and she usually gets up about 1 – 2 pm on the weekends too, she’s 14. Also is she drinking alone or taking the Vodka with her to parties/friends house etc?? :)
 
Zip said:
Since my last post was in appropriate ill post a sensible one.

If you confront her about it dont dwell too much on the risks it has on her health, tell her about them so she knows but thats it. If shes depressed she wont care about the health risks all that much really.

If you really want to shock her and make her think the thing you tell her about is how it will effect her looks.

Tell her it will make her skin go all pimply and oily or dry. Tell her how her hair will become much weaker then it once was. Tell her that she will age quicker and get wrinkles quicker.
Just google the side effects it has on you outer body because 15 year old girls are vain and thats all they really care about.
Try it and see if that works :)
Click to expand...

Terrible advice.
 
if shes doing it alone there are some serious issues involved here. its not the same as going and getting drunk with friends and being stupid. i agree that knocking her self esteem further will not help and could only distance you. sadly this is as far as i would be willing to offer advice, although maybe try AA.
 
-Colli$ion- said:
I wouldn’t worry about it too much to be honest, since I was 14 I always had loads of alcohol under my bed/hidden, its totally normal.

I wouldn’t confront her about it if I was you, as you found the alcohol by routing through her stuff, which I don’t think she will appreciate, especially as she is 15 and trying to become more independent and wants more privacy.

Just ask her casually without accusations if she likes alcohol, obviously when you’re alone with her, not when your parents are there otherwise you may get a biased reply. If your close to her then she will most likely open up, then you can decide what’s the best action to take, its better for you to supply her with alcohol on strict guidelines, rather than you tell your parents which will most likely result in a big argument and she will most likely never share her thoughts/feelings with you again, telling your parents will just drive the ‘problem’ underground.

Remember you have no evidence that she is hangover when she gets up late, she may actually just be lazy/tired, I have a niece that stays up all the time until about 4 am in the mornings on the computer msn/web browsing and she usually gets up about 1 – 2 pm on the weekends too, she’s 14. Also is she drinking alone or taking the Vodka with her to parties/friends house etc?? :)
Click to expand...

the ostrich approach doesnt normally work, but then neither does honesty in the majority of cases.
 
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