A really helpful thread with invaluable tips for life.

Hellsmk2 · 18 Dec 2008 at 22:25

I am sitting here in agony resulting from my own stupidity. I thought I should share this most valuable lesson life has just taught me in the hope someone else does not make the same mistake.

I just finished attempting to cook myself a nice mexican meal. I can't cook and this was my first time trying this recipe. I chopped up some ridiculously hot chillies and cooked up my meal. It tasted great!

However, I hadn't washed my hands after chopping the chillies. I had a serious case of itchy nads, the kind which no amount of scratching through my jeans could soothe. "No problems" I thought, "I'm all alone, let's put my hands down my pants and thoroughly banish that itch." JESUS **** WHAT THE CHRIST GAH! This was a big mistake for which I am not suffering, and have been for the best part of 30 minutes.

My invaluable life tip: Don't rub chillies on your nads, or even touch them after handling chillies.

ins0mn1ac · 18 Dec 2008 at 22:26

Serious need of the Jesus picture required.

Nitefly · 18 Dec 2008 at 22:27

I made the same idiotic mistake with an itchy eye.

Never again.

deleted said:
Serious need of the Jesus picture required.

Serious need of you having sex.

J1234 · 18 Dec 2008 at 22:28

I used to have this problem.

Washing your hands with milk normally gets rid of it.

I used to have trouble when taking my contact lenses out, they'd burn for a good few days after I removed them.

LabR@t · 18 Dec 2008 at 22:28

oh yer chilli in the eye done that before

Morba · 18 Dec 2008 at 22:29

Does milk work for this like it does for your tastebuds?

edit: too late

Nitefly · 18 Dec 2008 at 22:29

Morba said:
Does milk work for this like it does for your tastebuds?

Milk cools you, really?

HamZilla · 18 Dec 2008 at 22:30

Nitefly said:
I made the same idiotic mistake with an itchy eye.

Rubbing your eye with chilli balls?

Le_Petit_Lapin · 18 Dec 2008 at 22:30

Justin said:
I used to have this problem.

What? Rubbing your testicles with chilli covered hands was a "problem" for you?

Hellsmk2 · 18 Dec 2008 at 22:31

I want the misery to end

I have no milk, or my balls would already be swimming in it!

caff · 18 Dec 2008 at 22:31

Don't eat yellow snow.

Morba · 18 Dec 2008 at 22:32

Nitefly said:
Milk cools you, really?

It's not hot, so no, milk doesnt cool you :]

caff · 18 Dec 2008 at 22:32

Hellsmk2 said:
I have no milk, or my balls would already be swimming in it!

Any fats should do - yoghurt, cream, cheese, butter... lard... mustard.

Nitefly · 18 Dec 2008 at 22:33

HamZilla said:
Rubbing your eye with chilli balls?

Yes. After a cheeky bit of salsa flavoured self pleasure, they were the closest instrument to give relief at the time.

:eek:

Le_Petit_Lapin · 18 Dec 2008 at 22:33

Hellsmk2 said:
I want the misery to end

I have no milk, or my balls would already be swimming in it!

Mustard has a umm......thingy, forget the name.....in it that counteracts the stingyness of chillis.

Rub some of that on your bits, probably best to not do this if someone is liable to get intimate with you later. Mustard smelling genitals isn't the sexiest thing in the world.

gillywibble · 18 Dec 2008 at 22:34

Buy low, sell high.

Amnesia · 18 Dec 2008 at 22:35

dip them in apple pie.

Nitefly · 18 Dec 2008 at 22:35

Morba said:
It's not hot, so no, milk doesnt cool you :]

Surely it would have to be cold to cool you... ?

scouse · 18 Dec 2008 at 22:36

Mustard is good as a remedy

Hellsmk2 · 18 Dec 2008 at 22:39

Yes, of course! Mustard.

I also heard rubbing more chillies onto my sac will cancel out the pain. Am I right?