A relationship thread we've probably never seen before...

Neh eh !

You can put someone through so much that they decide they will have less stress without you in their life to worry about.

If you really loved her, you would consider her feelings first - that would tell me a lot about the relationship.
 
yeah i'd watch out as you are putting a huge thing in front of her and she may get tired of worrying, or tired of coming second, or even just tired because you keep going away so she looks for company else where.

what would you prefer to risk loosing, base jumping, or rest of your life with her? can you not base jump in 20 years, if she goes now you may never get time with her again

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with that said i guess you can flip it around to her, she would be putting worrying before being with you, so at a risk of worrying about loosing you, she will just loose you now. if she loved you she'd put up with base jumping, just as if you loved her you'd not base jumping
 
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_PD_ said:
life is for living
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So lets risk our lives, eh? ;) There are other ways to "live life [to the full]", and it could be with her. I think she has been very supportive of you so far, and has sacrificed a lot (you may think she has stopped worrying, but maybe she's hiding that for you?).

Maybe you could sacrifice a small thing for her, and live happily ever after? I think you need to start considering her feelings, as well as your adrenaline addiction.
 
Looks like you've hit "the wall". Usually it's over kids, when years down the line one partner realises they don't want them, and the other does. Things like this can be the end of a relationship unfortunately.

Although I find BASE jumping incredibly foolish (seen a few, how shall we say, "graphic" videos), you're entitled to what you enjoy - but you need to seriously discuss this with her. If during the conversation you realise that she is simply terrified beyond belief that something will happen and she'll lose you - and nothing will change her mind - just don't do it. If she feels that strongly about you, you'd be an even bigger fool giving that up than you are for BASEing in the first place.
 
if you're really in love, then she would want you to be happy, and if that makes you happy, so be it.

Sometimes you gotta take risks in life.
 
[TW]Fox;11711389 said:
You quite obviously would, you'd improve her tolerance for your hobby
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You and your technicalities..

_PD_ said:
Talk to me, OcUK!
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Man if i was you id do it a few times before you settle down properly with this girl, once the kids are around, then stop as you dont want to run the risk of your kids been fatherless..

Do it while your young mate, but pack it in when the time is right, and let her know that, let her know that you want to experience things before its too late.. Before theres things stopping you.

Thats what id reccommend anyway.
 
I can understand where she's coming from. You say that it's a "safe" sport, but what exactly are you comparing it to? There's obviously a lot less chance of dying while playing football than there is jumping out of a plane, it's the risk that makes it fun. The same risk also makes it worrying for someone who loves you.
 
[TW]Fox;11711389 said:
You quite obviously would, you'd improve her tolerance for your hobby
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But if she was a yes-girl, that would suck. Maybe the OP likes the fact that she worries about him and doesn't want to change that?
 
My girlfriend says the same thing about me getting a motorbike. (I'm looking at doing my DSA later this year)

We've talked about it a little bit, and while on one hand its something that I want to do, on the other hand, I don't want to put her through the stress of doing what is, basically, a life threatening activity.

Try flipping it around - would you be ok with her taking up B.A.S.E jumping?
 
_PD_ said:
I'd love it! But I see what you're getting at - let's say she wanted to get into some other dangerous activity that I wasn't interested in.

I'd encourage her as much as she wanted to be encouraged - I don't believe that anyone should be held back from what they truely want to do. Sure, I'd be concerned for her safety, but she's a big girl and can look after herself.
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Well maybe she's thinking the same as you, wants to make plans with you etc - maybe she's thinking quite far ahead, kids etc. Doesn't want to possibly risk that?
 
_PD_ said:
Hmmm OK, we have some conflicting views. Pestilence, it scares me what you say about "the wall", as I fear you may be right....
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Think of "The Wall" in front of you. It's endgame here and there are two paths...you move in one direction together, or you split up and go your opposite ways. There's usually no going through as in these kind of situations both parties are very, VERY rarely happy with the outcome.

As I said, you really need to discuss this with her, reasonably. Don't argue. Discuss. Let her know how you feel, and let her tell you how she feels. If there's no convincing her to let you do it and even a compromise, for example that you'll get into it for 6 months or a year and then it's done - just something you want to experience - is still a no-go, then you have a very tough decision to make.

I do believe in that situation if you went ahead and did it anyway, her vision of you will be dramatically affected in the negative - this could lead to deterioration or even the abrupt end of your relationship - she'll feel like you simply don't care about her enough over getting your own jollies. Then again, maybe she won't - she might be hurt, but get over it, and after you've had your fill of BASEing you can stop and say "I'm still here", and that's it.

The future of the relationship is in both your hands, but ultimately the decision is yours. However she feels about it, it's whether you go BASEing or not that will determine the outcome. Life really does suck sometimes.
 
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