Alcoholics Anonymous

Diddums · 27 Apr 2017 at 15:15

Not seeking medical advice.

*sigh* here we go again. My cousin is hitting the bottle hard and is getting in to all sorts of trouble. I get the feeling he's on his last legs with his employer too, and his wife wants to pack it in.

Now! We're trying to get his wife to get him some help, and obviously the first thing that comes up is AA. He's a staunch atheist and won't fit in if he is in a group fullof people that are constantly telling him that the Lord forgives all sins and all that. It'll only alienate him from the group.

I've had a quick skim of their site and there's no mention of religion, but I've heard from other people (in America mind, hence the uncertainty) that it's a very happy clappy Christian gig.

Does anyone know if this is the case? I'm trying to do what I can, if he doesn't sort himself out he'll be on the streets and homeless very soon, and I can't let that happen.

If it is the case I'll have to find an alternative.

hyperseven · 27 Apr 2017 at 15:39

Thought it was 'higher power', not deities.

Get him sectioned.

Steeps · 27 Apr 2017 at 15:41

Why not scope out a few meetings yourself? See how they are and if you think he could cope with it.

Skidder · 27 Apr 2017 at 15:48

I had no idea AA had a religious leaning

something daft already!! · 27 Apr 2017 at 15:54

If he's an Atheist, he probably wont stay with AA. They are heavily into the god nonsense even though they claim to not be. The AA organisation itself is like a religion.

I don't know what the answer is for him or anyone else but I know that being an atheist myself, when I tried a meeting, it was of no help. It made me want to take more of my substance of choice.

For me the only way was my own will power and sticking with it.

pepp77 · 27 Apr 2017 at 16:21

Give these guys a call - http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/ - they are a support group for the friends and family of Alcoholics and can offer advise on what you can do in situations like this.

Diddums · 27 Apr 2017 at 19:00

Cheers all.

I remembered a few years ago we had someone in our gaming community in exactly the same position so went through his posts on our forum, he mentions SMART recovery which seems to be much more science orientated. I'll have a look at their site and speak to his wife.

Devrij · 27 Apr 2017 at 19:43

I got sober at AA and I was about as anti-religion as you can get. If he goes to a meeting and listens, and hears part of himself in what they're talking about, he'll at least know there are people like him who got sober. If he wants that. That's what kept me coming back: people who understood me.

Yes, a big part of the 12 steps is appealing to a higher power (which I struggled with, but eventually decided that if it was give it a go or die, I'd give it a go). Some people incorporate that into their religious beliefs, some adopt a more general spirituality, and some simply appeal to a part of themselves beyond their control, or whatever. Everyone finds their own way on that if they have a good sponsor.

The steps are a lot more than that though. I found step 4/5 to be a real hinge on which my recovery turned. I had a lot of **** I was carrying around and unburdening all of it in one go was pretty intense, but when you offload some big deep dark secret and your sponsor just laughs and says "oh yeah, I did something like that" it completely loses its power over you.

I tried to stop analysing and tearing it apart and thought "this works for them, and I NEED something to work". That's when I got places with it after descending to some incredibly bad places that I couldn't get out of previously.