Am I justified to have lost my temper or not?

Gedalia_w

Gedalia_w

Gedalia_w

Associate
Joined
7 May 2003
Posts
668
Location
London
I play 5 a side football pretty much every Sunday afternoon with a large pool of guys at a Power League near me. We make teams on the day and just play for fun for a couple of hours. I got in on the game about 6 months ago through one guy who plays that I knew, dont know the rest of the guys outside of football but they all know each other.

Last Sunday there was this guy that I had only played with once before but everyone knows him well except me and im playing defence and this guy is goal hanging the whole time and whenever we're both running for the ball or on the ball he was constantly shoving me with his hands. Not just normal jostling you would expect but full on pushing me.

I kept telling him to lay off but he wouldn’t and after the umpteenth time that he shoved me when we're fighting for the ball and I fall over I completely lost my cool and started shouting at him and pushing him.

Everyone seems to take his side and that basically im a psycho for losing my temper "its just a game" the guy keeps saying "just because im stronger than you" which ****** me off even more and he had the nerve to ask for an apology after the game, and I get a call the next day from the guy who organises the games but wasn’t there this week basically berating me for losing my temper.

If it’s just a game, why can’t he play without pushing me constantly? Every time I think about the situation my blood boils and I think about battering the ******.

Do you think I was justified or am I just plane crazy?
 
You were right not to want to be shoved but you shouldn't have bottled it up and expressed it after snapping. You should have been smooth and told him to change his attitude rather than snapping, which makes you seem like you cant handle your emotions.

On the other hand, the guy sounds like a prize **** if he asked for an apology and thinks he is stronger than you, so he deserves all he gets.
 
neither really

The amount of jostling in footy can be pretty high, and some guys who i play with i would say i'm stronger than them, yet they can push there way through or past me, or at least they could. Now i just get as forceful with them as they are me, and its all [art of the game - no need to get bothered by it really, tho in the heat of a match its easier said than done
 
Your nuts :p


Nah seriously if it was me i would knocked him out but then i do have a pretty bad temper so that wouldnt be unusual lol. Next time push him around a bit, rough it up and see how he feels about it but try to get in there first :p.
 
if people want to jostle, it's a case of learning to tackle/aggressive blocking back, same as rugby, can tackle easily, or can tackle hard, depending on who it is, and how much they wind you up ;)
 
I take it there wasn't a ref :p

In that position I'd drop the shoulder and give him a nudge, a couple of times until he learnt his lesson :)

Personally I wouldn't have let it rile me, v. little does when playing sport, I tend to just try and give it back within the rules, always more satisfying :D

However it sounds like the guy is a bit of a tool! I'd just forget about it and chalk it off to experience, so what if you lost your temper it's not unheard of, just try not to make a regular occurence of it! :p
 
I've been in a similar situation a few times, but usually I just grit my teeth and concentrate on the game. I thing I would have also lost my temper if the person kept on doing it.

It's usually the situation when the new person comes and someone will always try and prove a point.
 
Learn the art of secret fouling, à la Vincent Jones.

Only then, it might escalate.

But at least you wouldn't be told off the next day.
 
The guy sounds like a tool tbh. Personally I'd have told him after the first time to stop shoving. Your outburst probably didn't help, it made you look a bit tooly too.

Take up rugby, there's better chances for revenge. ;)
 
The thing is I tried deplomacy, I tired telling him a few times to stop and he just ignored me.

In the 6 months that ive been playing with these guys, no one has played this way. If they all did it then fine its part of the game. And to top it off there are 2 or 3 regulars who will call foul the instant anyone pushes them wrong.

As a kid I had a really short tempor and would snap at everything. It got me in to a lot of trouble in school, but I so rarely lose my tempor now which to me means that the guy really got under my skin.

If he is playing next week I will for sure get in there early with a taste of his own medicine.
 
Surely a well times "leg rake with studs" or a "two foot slide challange takieng him clean off his feet" was in order when he next got the ball? You can then apoligise for the foul and he will think twice before pushing you again. He plays ditry, you play dirty and see how he likes it. As soon as you started shouting and swareing at him you had already lost the battle.

Friends will always stick up for friends even if they are in the wrong, can't blame people for that.
 
I personally would have just shoulder charged him into next week. Being a big bloke like I am, a few people do try and take liberties and push into me (I don't play physically unless someone else starts it), but when I start pushing back they generally don't carry on. I don't let my temper get the better of me as it can only lead to two things...

1) Me smacking someone

2) Poor performance

I play footy for fun, so I always make sure I do that much at least. It someone tries to be physical, they get it back in equal measures.
 
Down at my 5 a-side I've never had that problem, with Rugby and American Football playing under my belt I'm always more than willing to shove them straight back even harder, and they soon get the message :) (was always fun playing Corner Back on Defence and giving the Wide Receiver an all mighty shove when he came off the line :D)

I would've brought it to the attention of others before losing your cool, i.e. after the first few times highlight it to your goalie or team mates, then if you do lose your cool they'll understand that it's been irritating you, and it's not just that you lost it unreasonably.
 
At 11 a side (where there are no walls) they'd get a studding down the back of the leg, or they'd be taken off their feet. Elbows would be out in close challenges/running for the ball and they wouldn't be pushing me around either. But we have refs on a saturday.

At 5-a-side I'd have put him face first into a wall.
 
Back in the old days when I played footie, aggressive play was the norm in the league I played in.
You just had to give as good as you got. If someone was being rough, the old sliding tackle with one foot to the ball and the other 'nads high usually made them think twice about it :D

You basically need to show him you won't be intimidated by him and he will soon learn.

Stan :)
 
[advert]
VeNTs contract killing service to the rescue!

just call 0800- K I L L - H I M (0800 5455 446)

are rates are LOW!
[/Advert]

dude, just keep your cool, they guys a tool and should just be ignored, maybe next time talk to the guy arranging the games etc and point out that he had been pushing you and taking the peater by asking YOU to apoligise etc, I'm sure he'll come round.
 
Yeah, studs *** (cant abriviate For the Win?), but we dont play on grass, its proper 5-a-side pitches.

When I tried to explain to the other guys that he was constantly shoving me they didnt seem to think that was a problem, and certainly not something to lose my cool about.

The guy has this annoying higher than normal pitched voice and always has this cheesy grin on his face, like Alan Cummings and that made it worse :mad:

So, woe is me for losing my temper. :(
 
I play 5 a side. Our team is all 18-19yr old lads.

All of the other teams in our league are 25-50 year olds so pretty much all games the other team think if we go in hard they will get scared.

To most extent they are right but I don't really stand for that. I don't fight them or anything but you can mash them into the wall. If they make a threat like "tackle me again and I will beat you up" I always say "It will be worth it as I love rough games". Then just go in hard and most of the time they are like wtf it didn't work and ease off.

I am probably the biggest wimp on the team and he could beat me up if he wanted. I just aint really scared of getting a whack. What's the worse he can do, jab me in the face? Not like he is going to take my head off or stab me.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom