Am i overreacting?

dlockers said:
To be fair, I'm sure my opinion would change if she winged how expensive my house was and she couldn't afford it whilst living in my attic at age 40.
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That's why you build a basement.

Also depending how old she is now, the average age of moving out is creeping upwards... down here it's in the 30s...

You better be ready for the long haul ;)
 
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Dis86 said:
My parents booked a holiday and were away for the birth of my child (their second grandchild).

They've now just announced they've booked another holiday for this year (they go on about 5 or 6 a year) and as a result will miss her first birthday.

When it came to my nephew they dropped and will drop literally anything for him.

Would you be miffed or am I being a delicate little flower?
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Are you the younger sibling?

Think it’s not unusual for this to happen to the younger.

Also, I wouldn’t worry about it and would be happy that my parents are taking holidays whilst they’re still able to do so. They don’t have as much time as you left to do these things after all.
 
I missed my own daughter’s birth by two months, and every subsequent birthday since. Although with the change of job, it’s now looking like her 4th birthday this coming August will be the 1st one I’ll actually be home for, which is lucky seeing as this would probably be the first one where she would have actually noticed my absence.

Although your situation might be annoying for you, luckily the little one won’t notice, so it’s only your parent’s loss really. And besides, even if you were being a delicate little flower about this, which you’re not, I’d still love you anyway.
 
Dis86 said:
My parents booked a holiday and were away for the birth of my child (their second grandchild).

They've now just announced they've booked another holiday for this year (they go on about 5 or 6 a year) and as a result will miss her first birthday.
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It's a baby / 1 year old. They have zero understanding what a birthday is. 1 year old birthdays are just for the benefit of the parents. The holidays sound like a much better choice if you ask me. I assume they see your child plenty when not on holiday?

Dis86 said:
When it came to my nephew they dropped and will drop literally anything for him.
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Are you sure? Is it just a coincidence and you're reading too much into it? It'd be highly unusual for parents to play favourites unless for a good reason.

Dis86 said:
Would you be miffed or am I being a delicate little flower?
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You're an oversensitive little flower. Let your parents enjoy their holidays in their retirement. Clearly that's what they want to do. It's their lives.

If we were talking about always missing 3rd/4th/5th birthdays then you'd have a fair enough point, but we're not.
 
When was the last time anybody ever looked back through old photos of their birthdays etc as a toddler and wondered wtf certain people weren't there?

Hopefully dis86 isn't trying to raise a flake :p
 
Yeah I'd say you are.

If your dad booked a holiday when you were born, or your parents did for your first birthday, then that would be unreasonable. But you probably wouldn't know about it anyway.

edit: as for the photos, my children like looking at old photos of when they were young. But they don't ask why grandad wasn't there (he was there for some birthdays and not others).
 
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Dis86 said:
With me I think a lot if it comes down to amazing memories from my childhood of time spent with my grandparents and also the fact we have the photos showing my grandfather holding me the day I was born, my grandmother sitting with me on her knee at my first birthday and such.
Heck, they used to travel 400 miles to see me at christmas and my birthday when we moved away!
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I'm sure it's down to my grandad why I love birds and nature and still feed them today.
I remember watching birds from their living room window on the farm with my bird book and asking what they were etc.


We had quite a close family back then. So sad it's all fractured now.
 
If my family was giving notably and objectively more special attention to another (favouritism) then yes on paper I might be a little bothered. But, eh, life - people might just be doing things without realising it.

Best thing to do is probably just mention it to them in a semi-embarrassed way.

“Sorry, I feel perhaps silly for mentioning this but this is what has happened and this is how I’ve been feeling - not necessarily fair but I don’t want to feel that way so thought I’d say…”

Either they will be sorry to have made you feel that way, or they will confirm that they are ********* and therefore you can be rightfully annoyed and then eventually put it down / shift the dynamics of your life. Problem solved.
 
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dlockers said:
Your parents sound like my in-laws. Just remember they had it significantly easier than us and don't see life the way we would (I know right now when my girl has kids I am going to be surrogate mother/father and do all their DIY).
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To be fair, if you were my son in law I'd probably want to forget and avoid the whole situation as well. :D
 
413x said:
'm sure it's down to my grandad why I love birds and nature and still feed them today.
I remember watching birds from their living room window on the farm with my bird book and asking what they were etc.
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I spent a lot of time with my grandparents as well, staying with them most summers etc. Very few actual birthdays spent together though i.e being together on the exact day.
 
On the the title...yes you are over reacting. Now stop caring and get with stuff.

My in-laws are the best grandparents I could ever wish for but you know what...they also have a life that doesn't revolve around our choices so just crack on with your normal life stuff and stop looking for drama's that exist nowhere but inside your head.
 
Nitefly said:
Best thing to do is probably just mention it to them in a semi-embarrassed way.

“Sorry, I feel perhaps silly for mentioning this but this is what has happened and this is how I’ve been feeling - not necessarily fair but I don’t want to feel that way so thought I’d say…”
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No, you need to go passive aggressive...

"It's OK, I understand you can't always cancel your holidays like you did for <nephew>'s football game, my daughter will have loads of first birthdays, you can just come to the next one, when would it suit you for her to turn 1 next?"

:p
 
200sols said:
I spent a lot of time with my grandparents as well, staying with them most summers etc. Very few actual birthdays spent together though i.e being together on the exact day.
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I don't remember any birthdays back then to be honest. But I do remember stuff like that. So really, missing birthdays isn't a big one for the kid. But spending quality time creates memories.
 
I personally would not have any issues and don't put any real emphasis on grandparents being around at the birth of the child.. never mind their first birthday..

The important thing for children is you are there and when old enough, their friends..
 
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