An idea on why men act like wusses around women...

cleanbluesky · 29 Jun 2007 at 11:03

Andrew Valentine’s Unified Theory of Wussiness

Hello and welcome to my short essay. After reading a piece by David DeAngelo about why women get tired of men I got thinking about two of the reasons he cites…

1) Men behave like a wuss when they meet a woman
2) Men turn into wusses once they have start seeing a woman

And I want to examine why this is the case, in the indignant style of Nietzsche.

Why of why do we, as men, lose our masculinity in the face of the female? Time and time again I see strong, decent willed men fall for a woman who either he was once equal or in control of.

And yet there are successful men who lack our strength. There are successful men who treat women like dirt.

So why do proud men either exist as wusses or turn into wusses?

Because there is something that they think the other person can solve, that they can’t solve themselves.

Relationships are about mutual advantage – people get together because they offer each other something.

So why does this happen so often in close relationships?

Because our parents are our role models for relationships – and for a huge portion of our life they clothe, feed and take away the pain.

If anyone is going to do something for us that we cannot do for ourselves, it will be our parents.

And your parents are our role models for relationships.

So really, it is no surprise that we seek others to fill the gaps in ourselves that we are scared to fil ourselves.

Confidence is the key to healthy relationships, confidence in ourselves and a willingness to take responsibility for what we want for ourselves. To be happy with yourself is the only way to be happy with another.

DannyDan · 29 Jun 2007 at 11:05

PsiFox · 29 Jun 2007 at 11:08

Surely reason 2 is invalid as they are already a wuss according to reason 1

Arcade Fire · 29 Jun 2007 at 11:22

With that argument, wouldn't it be just as likely that the woman would turn into a wuss and become completely dependent on the man?

cleanbluesky · 29 Jun 2007 at 11:26

Arcade Fire said:
With that argument, wouldn't it be just as likely that the woman would turn into a wuss and become completely dependent on the man?

Yeah, I wrote it from a patriarchal viewpoint

MookJong · 29 Jun 2007 at 11:28

Confidence is the key to healthy relationships, confidence in ourselves and a willingness to take responsibility for what we want for ourselves. To be happy with yourself is the only way to be happy with another.

Spot on

Arcade Fire · 29 Jun 2007 at 11:29

A stark reminder of the dangers that lie in wait when people try to ape Nietzsche. He's one of the Übermenschen, don't you know.

doublehelix2 · 29 Jun 2007 at 11:29

I don't think men lose it. They just trade it for sex.

cheets64 · 29 Jun 2007 at 11:40

Confidence is the key to life, don’t get confidence and arrogance mixed up, a lot of people do.

starscream · 29 Jun 2007 at 11:40

Arcade Fire said:
A stark reminder of the dangers that lie in wait when people try to ape Nietzsche. He's one of the Übermenschen, don't you know.

I think he's ok actually. That concept was really twisted by a lot of authoritians, but if read Zarathustra a lot of it makes sense.

Arcade Fire · 29 Jun 2007 at 12:07

Oh yah, I agree with a whole bunch of what Nietzsche had to say (even if I do have to make three attempts every time I try to spell his name). He had particularly good arguments against organized religion. He's a pain in the arse to read, though - why couldn't he use a more conventional style!

cleanbluesky · 29 Jun 2007 at 12:15

Arcade Fire said:
Oh yah, I agree with a whole bunch of what Nietzsche had to say (even if I do have to make three attempts every time I try to spell his name). He had particularly good arguments against organized religion. He's a pain in the arse to read, though - why couldn't he use a more conventional style!

Yalom thinks Neizcherx !!!111 has an excellent writing style. I quite like its indignance, despite disliking philosophy. It is much more accessible than some, yet not quite accessible.

Arcade Fire · 29 Jun 2007 at 12:16

cleanbluesky said:
Yalom thinks Neizcherx !!!111 has an excellent writing style. I quite like its indignance, despite disliking philosophy. It is much more accessible than some, yet not quite accessible.

Yalom's a psychiatrist, though - a practitioner of phony medicine. I wouldn't trust anything he has to say.

starscream · 29 Jun 2007 at 12:18

Arcade Fire said:
Oh yah, I agree with a whole bunch of what Nietzsche had to say (even if I do have to make three attempts every time I try to spell his name). He had particularly good arguments against organized religion. He's a pain in the arse to read, though - why couldn't he use a more conventional style!

Yes, even as a wishy washy sandle wearing liberal, I think his master/slave theme is one of the best theories of organised religion going. He just seems to go over the top a bit IMO with the concept conflict, similar to the way that the big authoritians like Hitler and Stalin did. Maybe that's why he is held is such high regard by them?

starscream · 29 Jun 2007 at 12:21

Arcade Fire said:
Yalom's a psychiatrist, though - a practitioner of phony medicine. I wouldn't trust anything he has to say.

That Neitzsche's motivation was supressed sexual desire for his mum probably

benktlottie · 29 Jun 2007 at 12:21

Because they want sex from them. Simple really...

Arcade Fire · 29 Jun 2007 at 12:22

starscream said:
That Neitzsche's motivation was supressed sexual desire for his mum probably

I think that's psychoanalysts, but yeah ok!

james.miller · 29 Jun 2007 at 12:39

tis the truth

B&W · 29 Jun 2007 at 12:42

cleanbluesky said:
Confidence is the key to healthy relationships, confidence in ourselves and a willingness to take responsibility for what we want for ourselves. To be happy with yourself is the only way to be happy with another.

Excellent post.

Zefan · 29 Jun 2007 at 12:43

Stars.