Any spider experts in here?

Domo

Domo

Domo

Soldato
Joined
11 Feb 2004
Posts
4,532
Location
Surrey, UK
These webs have popped up all over our garden but I don't recognise the proud Mum in these shots - and she herself doesn't look like her offspring. Maybe she's an imposter? Anyway - does anyone know which type of spider she is? She's reasonably big compared to other garden spiders, and didn't like me getting to close with my phone taking pics :eek::o

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Just LOL if the mental torture of when, not if, this spider army will attack doesn't drive you to relocate you and your family to Iceland leaving every possession, relationship, and memory of your previous life to die in an arachnid apocalypse.
 
RIP Domo, just remember that calling in a nuclear strike from orbit is a better way to go than what that horror will do to you.
 
See what you have there is the rare russian sleeper spider, a throwback to the days of the cold war when they were experimenting with making a genetically modified spider that could interbreed with native spiders and make them poisonous. The idea was it would eradicate most of the populace who werent scared of spiders making for a much easier invasion.

Fortunately for you these spiders have been known to be susceptible to high volumes of radiation as a side effect of their already extensive genetic alteration in an attempt to make them fire proof, so nuking from orbit is definately your safest option.

Whatever you do don't touch it and dont leave it be, because soon you'll have an army of highly toxic spiders to deal with....
 
dont like to boast but yes i am an expert, spiders have five legs, can live to 45 years, they prefer battenberg cake to toffee eclairs, and are extremely
rude about the Welsh [ which is no bad thing ].
 
Worth posting just for the lols while waiting for my train this morning. Thanks for the advice. All taken onboard.
 
Get a vaccum with a loooooooooooong extension so you don't have to be anywhere near it.
Suck it up and spin till it dies.
 
Spider expert here and I can tell you that, the beastie in your pics is indeed a spider. Time to move home, or call Dan Goodman.
 
CREATIVE!11 said:
They're probably harmless anyway....

That is one of perks of living in the UK compared to say Aus/South Africa. Most things can kill you over there....
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You know there are actually quite a few species of poisonous spider in the UK, but very unlikely to do you any serious harm, the false widow being the worst, although no reported deaths in the UK.

There is of course then the mother in law...
 
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