Anyone ever had a relationship where...

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Hostile_18

Hostile_18

You became more like best friends than boyfriend/girlfriend?

We have the most pointless arguments, like an old married couple and so consequently our relationship has suffered. Anyways today we talked a lot and decided to split up. It was really, really hard desision to make. What makes it more difficult is you never know if going through the hard times now is worth it when you meet someone else down the road or if your making a massive mistake letting the other person go and not fighting to keep them. I think we could have "settled" easily enough but I don't think that would have been what either of us deserve. We are still best friends but are officially not a couple after today. Anyone else have to make the tough desision to end a relationship due to similar circumstances? How did it work out did you later meet your perfect other half... or did you regret it?

Sorry for the not very manly thread, just interested hearing other peoples experiences. :)
 
Eh? Isnt there that saying best friends are relationships or something.

Your break up doesnt make sense
try again and keep it simple.

dont get too attached
let one door close for another to open

go and and screw ten women - you wont remember this one after that.

EDIT - dont bother with my above request of making it simple.
tuck in your skirt - and go out!
loll
 
By becoming best friends I mean you kind of become too comfortable with each other, still love each other but the spark kind of dies... you argue more and it feels more like a friendship than a relationship.

I'll find my skirt lol.
 
good question by shoosh.

if you got in the argument stage - aye...its died out.
learn from your past and excel in your future
IE - never make it too comfortable
JUST SAY NO - sometimes
even if it means smashing her pastie - JUST SAY NO

you could try the other route -
avoid contacting her too much - once or twice a week
be seen with another hot girl
say youre busy or whatever with some friends
make it so youre doing stuff that could involve a girl
dont give out too much info on her or what you get upto with her

your ex might want you to smash her pastie for the sake of it!
 
Yeah I've had this/am having this at the moment. We had stupid stupid arguments where no one would win and it really wrecked the quality of things. We were on and off for ages, then finally decided that that was that and it was time to move on. Tried it as friends for a couple of weeks and things.... erm.... reverted.

Thing is, I think we both know overall we're not long long term right for each other, but those little moments make it seem like we are. It's a tricky situation to be in.

I would echo grandmaster's advice with the JUST SAY NO, but it's hard.
 
Sure, my wife and I are like best friends in some regards and we have stupid arguments as well. The 'spark' is more of an occasional thing than something I feel every day, but I think that is fairly normal in a long term relationship.

On rare occasions I have wondered what it would be like to split up but I think it would be harder than it first seems, for example when I was at Glastonbury festival it was probably the longest I've ever gone without seeing her (5 days), and I did find myself missing her at times.

My personal view is that if you have got to this stage, and are having to question whether it would be worth fighting to keep her, you have probably made the right decision. If you felt that strongly about it chances are you wouldn't have let it get this far.
 
Me and Mrs. LordSplodge are like best friends. We don't argue much though and I still stick my willy in her. Seems to be the best of both worlds really. Why wouldn't you want a wife/GF who was like your best friend. As long as you don't argue all the time and still screw the snot out of each other from time to time, of course!
 
i know exactly where you are OP. me and the, now-ex, missis went through the same thing. We were together for 4 1/2 years. We've cut all contact to get our own space and it's probably been about 3 months now. I still probably think about her every day but I know it was the right decision. It'll get harder before it gets easier.

B@
 
JUST SAY NO!!

If you say no, it makes her work for it. Women like working for it. Believeeee me!
A boy says Yes to everything
A MAN can say no and continue without a blink of thought.
 
Same happened with me after being with an ex for 6 years. I finished it 2 years ago after realising I was in pretty much the exact situation you described. It was crap for a long time, going back for a casual fling only makes it worse, so I'd say cut all ties and it'll be easier in the long run. The cliche that it gets easier with time is spot on. Looking back it was one hundred percent the right decision to end it.
 
Just remember - girls will make some crazy justifications to be friends - and it will make sense....but to be honest

She just wants to use you for the attention.

Simple as.
 
grandmaster said:
JUST SAY NO!!

If you say no, it makes her work for it. Women like working for it. Believeeee me!
A boy says Yes to everything
A MAN can say no and continue without a blink of thought.
Click to expand...

grandmaster said:
Just remember - girls will make some crazy justifications to be friends - and it will make sense....but to be honest

She just wants to use you for the attention.

Simple as.
Click to expand...
i think you're projecting here matey, it doesn't sound like this is what's going on at all.

B@
 
Honestly i'm not sure why this best friends and arguments thing are connected. I see what you mean about something changing over time where you become more 'settled' as it were with each other. But there's no reason being best friends can't be from day one or should ever change.

I would suggest that if you're arguing all the time, especially over stupid things, then that's a sign that the friendship isnt at that 'bff' level any more.

I havent ended a relationship like that myself, but i've certainly been best friends before, throughout and after the relationship. Guess it's all down to perspective :)
 
I know what you mean, I was with my ex for nearly 4 years. After a few years you really are accustomed to that person, you are so relaxed around one another that it can feel solely like a friendship. We weren't having sex anywhere near as much as we use to, we didn't have a great deal to say to one another being around each other all the time and we were nattering at each other about silly things. The relationship required effort by both sides to work and after another stupid argument we both agreed this isn't what we want right now so it was ended.

I would just advise to lose contact at much as possible, you will still maintain feelings for one another if you are still meeting/sleeping together etc.
 
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Nanoman said:
I know what you mean, I was with my ex for nearly 4 years. After a few years you really are accustomed to that person, you are so relaxed around one another that it can feel solely like a friendship. We weren't having sex anywhere near as much as we use to, we didn't have a great deal to say to one another being around each other all the time and we were nattering at each other about silly things. The relationship required effort by both sides to work and after another stupid argument we both agreed this isn't what we want right now so it was ended.

I would just advise to lose contact at much as possible, you will still maintain feelings for one another if you are still meeting/sleeping together etc.
Click to expand...

Yeah that pretty much sums up the situation. I really don't want to lose contact though especially after been with each other every day for a year and a half. Though I'm not naive as to think there won't be problems when we both enter other relationships. We also both have a dog who we love to pieces so it's joint custody! Lol.
 
Hostile17 said:
By becoming best friends I mean you kind of become too comfortable with each other, still love each other but the spark kind of dies... you argue more and it feels more like a friendship than a relationship.
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I wont bore you with all the details but you have pretty much described why my marriage collapsed after 5 years. We were best friends before (knew her since we were like 5 yrs old) and got married.

Trouble was...we stayed best friends.

Think carefully my friends before you tie the knot...very carefully. I didnt.

I know its tough but if its any comfort - you did the right thing by splitting up. Theres no need to kid each other anymore - both of you now are on separate paths and Im sure you will find a good gal one day :) And heck..(if youre cool with it) no ones saying you cant stay friends. But if you cant do that then sever all contact and get on with life!
 
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