Application form / A minute of your time please

[Brizzles]

I would appeciate anyones comments on this .

It's the "any relevant experience" part on an application form .

The position is for the "business support role" which is basically running the day to day admin of the company ( A local branch of regional college ).

" Throughout my employment history, I have consistently delivered a high level of administrative quality and support; this is proven in the posts I held within *************** for 17 years.
Excellent communication skills, both in person and with a friendly and confident phone manner have also been essential during my employment and have always been maintained to a high standard.
Organisational skills, developed throughout my work history, and the need to be flexible and prioritise duties has always been a requirement of any position I have held, and I have always managed any workload with accuracy and attention to detail.
Confident when working on my own initiative, I recognise the importance of teamwork and freely adapt to either.
I am fluent in Microsoft Word, Excel and Access and use this in my current position of *************.
My current position requires an understanding of people’s needs and the ability to adapt and cater for those needs. A friendly and patient approach to supporting students is vital and the encouragement I give is proven in the success and qualifications gained by the students.
My work at *************** has shown me the importance of this position to maintain the high levels of education and learning support that ************** provides to the public, an area I am both qualified and motivated to succeed in."

Much appreciated.

Mark

 

[darkmish]

sounds good

 

[Glaucus]

the content looks good, but get rid off the bullet point like structure. Every new sentence is started with

Excellent communication skills
Organisational skills
Confident when

ect ect. Just doesn't flow nicely when read at the moment.

 

[Brizzles]

the content looks good, but get rid off the bullet point like structure. Every new sentence is started with

Excellent communication skills
Organisational skills
Confident when

ect ect. Just doesn't flow nicely when read at the moment.

You have hit the nail on the head.

That's the reason for my posting, i need some fluidity to the statment.

Any input ?

 

[Buttons]

I agree, very good but as Acid says, you've done what I always do. In an attempt to not start every sentance with "I have" or "I am", you've barely used it at all. I'd whizz an "I have excellent" in front of "Organisational skills".

Don't be scared of using, excellent, complete understanding, outstanding ability, proven expertise and other similar words and phrases, you don't come across as big-headed.

Finally I'd suggest building a paragraph on how you are looked up to in your current role as a mentor and frequently coach individuals bringing out their skills and helping them achieve their potential. You've sort of said it but I'd be explicit about mentoring.

Good Luck

 

[Brizzles]

Minor edit ( version 2 ) :

" Throughout my employment history, I have consistently delivered a high level of administrative quality and support; this is proven in the posts I held within *************** for 17 years.
I have excellent communication skills, both in person and, with a friendly and confident phone manner, which has always been essential during my employment and maintained to a high standard.
Proven organisational skills, developed throughout my work history, and the need to be flexible and prioritise duties has always been a requirement of any position I have held, and I have always managed any workload with accuracy and attention to detail.
Whilst confident when working on my own initiative, I also recognise the importance of teamwork and freely adapt to either.
I am fluent in Microsoft Word, Excel and Access and use this in my current position of *************.
My current position requires an understanding of people’s needs and the ability to adapt and cater for those needs. A friendly and patient approach to supporting students is vital and the encouragement I give is proven in the success and qualifications gained by the students.
My work at *************** has shown me the importance of this position to maintain the high levels of education and learning support that ************** provides to the public, an area I am both qualified and motivated to succeed in."

Thanks for the input so far.

Mark