Approaching the "weight" issue

The_One

The_One

The_One

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Need some advice on approaching a situation.

Been with my gf 6 months now and were really close, she isnt a size 10 supermodel she's a 16 - 18

Been on holiday with her last week and became concerned with what she was eating - basically chips with everything and loads of mayo

Ive told her before about the mayo and how unhealthy it is but she just says she likes it etc.

She works in a care home doing shifts and a lot of the time finishes work at 8pm so when she gets home she just pigs out of has "fast food"

I love her to bits but really dont know how to approach her and basically say id like her to eat more healthy and lose a bit of weight. :(
 
My gf is a size 10/12 and she thinks she's fat. It's a nightmare trying to say anything that relates to food/diet/fitness she just goes mental and says 'Am I(me) suggesting something'
 
Tell her if she doesn't lose weight you'll bugger off and find somebody else.






I am being facetious, but this did actually work for an acquiantance of mine and he didn't tart up the way he told her either.
 
That's a one way road if she is already big but you can't just tell her or influence her. Unless she decides for herself on a lifestyle change it will never work.

How old is she?
 
Liquid_Entity said:
My gf is a size 10/12 and she thinks she's fat. It's a nightmare trying to say anything that relates to food/diet/fitness she just goes mental and says 'Am I(me) suggesting something'
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Same, it's mental.


I'd just tell her that I'm concerned about her well being and the quantity of trans fats or msgs or something in her food, and her cholesterol perhaps. With regards to the fast food thing, you could cook her dinner and tell her before she leaves work so she has no excuse but to eat what you've cooked. Then, you could cook her some enormous amount of vegetables and disguise them.
 
Approach with great care is my advice and make sure it is the right time of the month.

Good luck :)
 
Always suggest doing something together. As in we should try and be healthier. We should look after ourselves more and so on. Once you get a bit of recognition from her side of the matter (hopefully you will) then you can keep breaking down the barriers to those awkward conversations. If in the end you get nowhere and she continues to treat herself badly and turn into a complete heifer you might just have to blunt up and say it how it is - it's making you unhappy.
 
dirtychinchilla said:
you could cook her dinner and tell her before she leaves work so she has no excuse but to eat what you've cooked. Then, you could cook her some enormous amount of vegetables and disguise them.
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I would do this first. Start cooking for her, that way you can at least try to help her without her getting upset about the whole thing by going straight to the point.
 
dirtychinchilla said:
Same, it's mental.


I'd just tell her that I'm concerned about her well being and the quantity of trans fats or msgs or something in her food, and her cholesterol perhaps. With regards to the fast food thing, you could cook her dinner and tell her before she leaves work so she has no excuse but to eat what you've cooked. Then, you could cook her some enormous amount of vegetables and disguise them.
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My situation is not quite as bad as the OP though.

We eat well in the week because I am the cook and I tend to do lots of chicken dishes, quorn dishes, salads, home made stuff etc so I know what's going in. She tends to make our lunches which are usually wraps with cheese or cold meats with salad. We do like our mayos and sauces though which is always our downfall. I know they are bad so do try and tend to have as little as possible.

Weekends is where it all falls apart, booze, fags, fast food. The difference is I will go play football or go for a bike ride where as she doesn't do any fitness at all, so she will indefintely put on the weight over the years.
 
Theophany said:
Tell her if she doesn't lose weight you'll bugger off and find somebody else.

I am being facetious, but this did actually work for an acquaintance of mine and he didn't tart up the way he told her either.
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Do that TBH.. If this is what you want. Short sharp shock.

Pussy footing around issues, ones that bother you, wont fix anything. A day of tears will either fix it so you are going out with a neurotic man hating weight obsessed woman with self esteem issues.

edit: Actually changed my mind.. ditch her now if it bothers you, Its unlikely she will change unless she has a personal issue with it. Try for 1 month then go find yourself another one that doesnt eat mayonnaise and shares a lifestyle more like what you perceive to be "good"

Go with Miss x, I really like/love you and i think we have a future together but....A-Bomb dropped, I dont want to lose you etc... blah blah.. If you are begin honest Its probably just easiest to speak your mind and get a box of tissues as you break her heart and destroy her life.
 
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Rather than focusing on not eating particilar food (which is negative) focus on doing exercise (which is positive). Start playing a sport together regularly; tennis is superb because it is a good workout, doest feel exhausing but is accessible to anyone.

Diet naturally changes when the body is exercising, so that will come about as well too.
 
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Ooof what a subject to try and bring up. Like another couple here, the Mrs is a small frame (5'3 and size 8/10) but because of that thinks she's always fat. I'm 5'10 and 13st4 not skinny at all and I'm like R U SERIOUS? But you can't say anything...

Either way you saying anything will get you in the bad books. I'd tear the plaster off quickly and say you're genuinely concerned about not being healthy and not being able to do the things you like together because you can't.

For me the wake up call was at 16st I was teaching the kids to ski and I was ruined. 2hrs in and I just could have died. This made me think I just can't be so unfit that I can't play and teach the kids.
 
Efour said:
Do that TBH.. If this is what you want. Short sharp shock.

Pussy footing around issues, ones that bother you, wont fix anything. A day of tears will either fix it so you are going out with a neurotic man hating weight obsessed woman with self esteem issues.

edit: Actually changed my mind.. ditch her now if it bothers you, Its unlikely she will change unless she has a personal issue with it. Try for 1 month then go find yourself another one that doesnt eat mayonnaise and shares a lifestyle more like what you perceive to be "good"

Go with Miss x, I really like/love you and i think we have a future together but....A-Bomb dropped, I dont want to lose you etc... blah blah.. If you are begin honest Its probably just easiest to speak your mind and get a box of tissues as you break her heart and destroy her life.
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Dude, are you drunk at twenty past nine in the morning?? :p
 
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