Arsenal Crumble...

Chong Warrior

Chong Warrior

Chong Warrior

Soldato
Joined
18 Oct 2002
Posts
12,050
Location
Manchester
INGREDIENTS FOR ARSENAL CRUMBLE

Ready Made Crumble Mix

1 German Prune (well passed its sell by date)

4 French Lemons

3 African Melons

1 Spanish Plum

2 Brazilian Nuts

2 English Gooseberries, if you have them lying around (please note! These fruits are seriously over rated!)

COOKING INSTRUCTIONS

It is recommended that you adhere to the recipe but as it is an 'Arsenal Crumble' some cheating is expected

For a good 'Arsenal' crumble topping the ingredient need to be well beaten before cooking (5-1 should do it!)

Add all the fruits together in a hot cauldron (Anfield is perfect) and make sure they stew for 90 minutes You will know that they are properly stewed as they will completely break down and lose all of their structure.

Add a generous splash of 'Chateau Wenger' whine to add to the sour taste.

Once this has been done cover with the crumble mix and place into a very hot oven (Old Trafford) for a further 90 minutes.

The 'Arsenal Crumble' is now complete!!!

Arsenal supporters may find this dish very bitter to swallow!!

If so they can help themselves to a large slice of humble pie which we made earlier!!!
 
Thieves took advantage of the "Battle of Britain" Champions League match
Between Liverpool and Arsenal on Wednesday night to burgle two more footballers' homes. The first unfortunate player was Liverpool skipper
Steven Gerrard . The crooks got away with countless items of football memorabilia including many of Gerrard's own medals. Amongst the items
currently being hunted by police are:
2 FA Cup winners medals, FA Youth Cup winners medal, 2 league cup winners medals, Champions league winners medal, Uefa cup winners medal
2 super cup winners medals & 2 charity shield winners medals
They also took a number of personal awards including player of the year, young player of the year and his much cherished MBE.

The other unfortunate player to be targeted was Arsenal's Cesc Fabregas.
Thieves are thought have escaped with a kettle and a toaster.
 
Monday 14 April
'Wake up early. I set my alarm clock for later but, naturellement, someone
has been in my room during the night and adjusted the time. I will not say
who - we will let others judge.

I trip over the rug in my bedroom. The rug is not penalised in any way. If
furnishings are allowed to keep getting away with these travesties of
justice then it is the end for Arsene.
I am waiting for a package but my postman - who seemed to get himself in a
good position - fails to deliver. Is my postman Emmanuel Eboue?

For sure it has not been the best of starts for me but I am working hard to
make sure that nothing bothers me anymore but getting on with the job. I
have lunch with my friend William at Pizza Express.

I have a Pizza a la Noci, but William doesn't want anything off the
children's menu. I try to tell him he must have something and he goes out
the door and sits on a traffic island for the next three hours. He is an
excellent role model to my young team.

Next I meet Phillipe Senderos on a street corner. It is good to see him.
However as soon as we leave that corner I lose him very easily and he
spends the rest of the afternoon about ten yards away from me at all times.
It is very frustrating.

I return to my car to find that a penalty fine has been given against me.
Strange how all the other cars on the street have not been given tickets
and yet they are all parked too.

The traffic warden tells me they are not parked on double yellow lines like
mine. I tell him that I know what is going on, I am not stupid. He asks me
what I mean and I smile and say 'Let us think our own thoughts, mon ami.'

It takes me an age to get to the training ground. All the traffic lights
are against me. Red and yellow lights everywhere, but only for me.

Finally I arrive and I'm greeted by my squad of wonderful players. Adebayor
and Bendtner are holding hands and laughing and joking as usual.

Jens Lehmann is giving everyone fine words of encouragement as befits his
status as our senior professional. Young Theo is coming on leaps and bounds
with his French A-levels.

I call the boys together and tell them they are all winners. They play the
best football. Then we play my favourite practising game 'Twenty Passes
Before You Can Score.'

Hoyte is terrible at this. Adebayor suggests we practise our free-kicks and
corners - then every one falls about laughing! He is a funny guy.

It is great that humour can break the tension. I tell them another joke -
that Alex Ferguson is going to buy van Persie for 10 million euros. Why
does Robin not laugh?

Then I get serious with the boys. I tell them not to listen to the voices
in their head that tell them to be paranoid. I tell them not to be neurotic
- just leave that to me.

I tell them not to be concerned for my mental state. I may be a bit wobbly
right now but I'm not Tom Hicks. I tell them that we will come back
stronger, fitter and better than ever.

Cesc, le petit Espagnol, asks if I will be able to buy anyone in the summer
to bolster the squad. I smile and nod. He need not worry. I have my eye on
two Malian goat-herders as we speak plus a fine central defender from the
Finnish second division.

In five years, I tell him, they will be football Gods comme Cygan et
Stepanovs, especially the girl from Helsinki.

During training the boys look sad and tired. Moi aussi. Staying positive in
this situation is about as feasible as winning a penalty at Old Trafford.

Sometimes, I think to myself that I am the only one who understood Eric
Cantona's sardines and trawler story. I too have been charting new
territory in my elegant vessel the SS Arsenal (it would have been a 747
liner but we had to keep Bergkamp with us in the early years.)

Many have followed us with delight, but many others have tried to peck out
the eyes of my vision. There have been stormy waters and troubled times. We
were les Invincibles and maintenant, we are les Miserables.

My seagulls are not journalists and reporters. They are the sight-forsaken
Rileys and Wileys of this world. These men of selective vision (and I know
how that works, believe me!) People accuse me of having a persecution
complex but these people are just out to get me.

I am a man of principle. There are ways to play le beau jeu but I know only
one. I will not change. And we shall not crumble like an Englishman on the
last day of a major golf tournament. And if it never succeeds again then it
won't be my fault.

Because I tell you this, mes amis:
Non, Je ne regrette rien!*
*Except picking Senderos. And moving Toure to right-back. Oh and selling
Diarra.
 
we doing some harmless arsenal mickey taking?



fergarsene.gif


"C'Mon Arsene! Dinnae look left, Dinnae look right..Straight ahead Son!
 
Around the mids 90s I would say Arsenal and Spurs where the same team and had the same money but we all know what Wenger did.
 
Finally I arrive and I'm greeted by my squad of wonderful players. Adebayor
and Bendtner are holding hands and laughing and joking as usual.

Jens Lehmann is giving everyone fine words of encouragement as befits his
status as our senior professional. Young Theo is coming on leaps and bounds
with his French A-levels.

I call the boys together and tell them they are all winners. They play the
best football. Then we play my favourite practising game 'Twenty Passes
Before You Can Score.'

Hoyte is terrible at this. Adebayor suggests we practise our free-kicks and
corners - then every one falls about laughing! He is a funny guy.

Epic paragraphs.
 
In 12 years time Spurs fans will actually be able to brag, once they have won the league 12 years straight and then have more league titles that their neighbours.

Oh and Cesc has more than a kettle and toaster.:p
 
i'd post the ingredients to the spurs mediocrity pie but everybody already knows it by heart.

still, after the carling cup win i imagine the agents are just banging on your door with quality players for a fair price.....*cough* Bent *cough* LMAO
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom