Asked to stop blasphemy

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Can you tell me one group of people, apart from Christians, who would take offence at "Jesus Christ!"? Again, you are completely missing the point that taking the Lord's name in vain is a Biblical commandment, a book that has zero relevance to my life, or billions of others on this planet. The original post made no mention of these phrases being used in a deliberately provocative manner.


Wow, don't you engage with people to determine why things offend them? Do you just cave in from the outset?
I would rather engage in dialogue with someone to determine why they are taking offence at something that wasn't intended as such, and if they can offer a justifiable reason then we can work towards a suitable compromise. Like I've said numerous times, if there is no malice intended then taking offence is ultimately this woman's problem and as an adult she should realise that not everyone is bound by her book's set of rules.

You are completely missing the point.

1) Its not a matter of "caving in", it isn't a battle or a fight unless you feel the need to make it such. Its obvious to a blind man why it offends her
2) Why does it have to be a justifiable reason? The fact is its something she doesn't like and now you have that information its up to you to decide what to do with it. If shouting "Jesus Christ!" in the workplace is something that is deeply important to you more so than keeping a work colleague or friend happy then carry on, if it isn't then try to avoid saying it.

This is being completely over thought simply because people like having a go at those who hold religious beliefs. In every job I've had and every friend I've had I will try not to upset people intentionally if I can. If its something I feel strongly about that is upsetting them then we have a problem, if it isn't I will attempt to moderate my behaviour accordingly as would most people for me and the world keeps turning happily.

 

[enkoda]

You are completely missing the point.

1) Its not a matter of "caving in", it isn't a battle or a fight unless you feel the need to make it such. Its obvious to a blind man why it offends her
2) Why does it have to be a justifiable reason? The fact is its something she doesn't like and now you have that information its up to you to decide what to do with it. If shouting "Jesus Christ!" in the workplace is something that is deeply important to you more so than keeping a work colleague or friend happy then carry on, if it isn't then try to avoid saying it.

This is being completely over thought simply because people like having a go at those who hold religious beliefs. In every job I've had and every friend I've had I will try not to upset people intentionally if I can. If its something I feel strongly about that is upsetting them then we have a problem, if it isn't I will attempt to moderate my behaviour accordingly as would most people for me and the world keeps turning happily.

1) This lady hasn't given a reason why it's offending her, just "I'm offended by that" - we can pretty much fathom out why, but she hasn't given any reason, let alone valid justification. I'll reiterate my point - do you instantly bow down to requests to stop doing/saying things that are generally accepted as inoffensive (unless malice is demonstrable and intended) simply because of one person? Let's say a person in your office says black clothing is offensive to them, would you stop wearing black or would you at least want a reason why?
2) You fail to understand that some phrases are said instinctively, without thought. If I happen to utter "Jesus Christ" and it 'offends' someone I'll apologise, say I didn't mean to offend them and move on. I've been saying it ever since I can remember, I use it subconsciously. If that person harps on about being offended every subsequent time I inadvertently say it, then they are being deeply intolerant of ingrained behaviour.

I find religion offensive, but I have to put with it....

Re-read TallPaul1878's reply:

This isn't about being rude, it's about people making a mountain out of a mole hill. I'm not rude to anyone in public, I conduct myself with civility at all times.

Here's how I see it. OP's wife's "friend" values their beliefs, something that is fundamentally NOT REAL, above that of the friendship of a living breathing human being.

Making someone fear what they say, especially when no offense is intended, is one of the worse things you can do to a "friend".

Do you understand this perspective on the matter?

Every manager of every company that has ever employed me in the past few decades...
Blasphemic concept aside, it's just an aspect of British culture wherein it's generally considered bad manners. Like jumping the queue or marching to the front and pushing in.


The fact that so many people still call this 'blasphemy' (which is defined generally as a form of profanity, anyway) suggests the concept of it being bad language is alive and well, and in many more minds than just those of devout Christians. Even those that claim not to be religious still call it that, so surely they know it's not considered acceptable in normal polite conversation?

It's not like mis-using one of the 43 gender neutral pronouns or something either, where it's comparatively rare to even meet someone that feels the need for them - Something like 64% of people in the UK identified as Christian (wasn't there a thread on the census, recently?) and many more as having beliefs/morals/whatever somewhat aligned with Christian values. That's the majority of people, technically...


A great many current and former Forces friends of mine will tell you it's the little things like good manners and common courtesy that make a big difference... and I would love to hear you tell them they have no life experience!


Difference is that most of those other gods either don't give a toss about your insignificant little human insults, or will happily come down and smite your ass if they think you're taking the mick.

Again, the words have no malice intended.
Fortunately I'm not really bothered about threats from any man-made entities that haven't met the burden of proof of their existence.

 

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1) This lady hasn't given a reason why it's offending her, just "I'm offended by that" - we can pretty much fathom out why, but she hasn't given any reason, let alone valid justification. I'll reiterate my point - do you instantly bow down to requests to stop doing/saying things that are generally accepted as inoffensive (unless malice is demonstrable and intended) simply because of one person? Let's say a person in your office says black clothing is offensive to them, would you stop wearing black or would you at least want a reason why?
2) You fail to understand that some phrases are said instinctively, without thought. If I happen to utter "Jesus Christ" and it 'offends' someone I'll apologise, say I didn't mean to offend them and move on. I've been saying it ever since I can remember, I use it subconsciously. If that person harps on about being offended every subsequent time I inadvertently say it, then they are being deeply intolerant of ingrained behaviour.

1) Using language like "Jesus Christ!" generally ISNT accepted in the workplace and presumably when she said it offended her she said why and that reason was because of her religious beliefs. I can only repeat myself to answer the rest of your points here, it depends on the request. If its something that costs me nothing and is easy for me to do then yeah I will do it if it keeps someone happy - in this case not swearing because someone is religious. If we have to use a ridiculous example then the black clothes one is more difficult as I tend to wear black shirts in the office quite often so that would be a different matter because it DOES cost me something to modify my behaviour i.e wear different shirts, buy different shirts. In this case I also cant imagine a reason as obvious as religious beliefs but clearly in this case this would be one of the situations where we have a problem.

2) I understand it fully. This is why I have said in my office despite trying not to swear I sometimes do because, as you say, it can be instinctive. In that instance much as you suggest I'll apologise and move on. My colleague wont even mention it because, as I say, she is aware i'm making an effort for her and she appreciates it, as opposed to me saying "shove your God up your ****, I have as much right to swear as you have to not want me to". Its about give and take

 

[ttaskmaster]

1) This lady hasn't given a reason why it's offending her, just "I'm offended by that" - we can pretty much fathom out why, but she hasn't given any reason, let alone valid justification.

1/. Since when does someone have to give you any detailed justification for asking good manners from you?
2/. As explained, many people still consider it rude even though many of them do it themselves, so you shouldn't need an explanation.

Let's say a person in your office says black clothing is offensive to them, would you stop wearing black or would you at least want a reason why?

Depends.
If, over the last 40-50 years, the society in which I have lived has generally looked down on and reacted quite badly to the wearing of black clothes, then I shouldn't need to ask the reason, much less conduct a full interrogation into their personal life and put them on trial to justify themselves.
If it's something I'd never encountered I might very well enquire, particularly if it was something I could easily avoid in future.
But in cases like this, people know damn well what the offense is, the reasoning behind it and that it's generally considered at best an impoliteness. Otherwise everyone would be using the terms on BBC breakfast TV and in job interviews.

2) You fail to understand that some phrases are said instinctively, without thought. If I happen to utter "Jesus Christ" and it 'offends' someone I'll apologise, say I didn't mean to offend them and move on.

Would you?
Why would you?
Why would you not demand they prove that their offense is valid and justified, before turning around and telling the mother ****** to stuff it up their goddamn **** and **** off, because you're not going to change your behaviour for anyone....?
Moreover, why would the OP not follow your example?

If that person harps on about being offended every subsequent time I inadvertently say it, then they are being deeply intolerant of ingrained behaviour.

I don't believe such a thing has been the case in this thread... but even if it were, that's fair enough. It's offensive and you've been asked to take care with your words. Ingrained does not mean impossible to change.

I find religion offensive, but I have to put with it....

You have to accept and respect the fact that other people believe in it, yes... but you don't have to accept them preaching the Word of God at you uninvited and are well within your rights to politely request that they butt out of your own spirituality, just as they are within their to request that you don't

Do you understand this perspective on the matter?

"Here's how I see it. OP's wife's "friend" values their beliefs, something that is fundamentally NOT REAL, above that of the friendship of a living breathing human being"
I understand that poster's specific interpretation of the situation, yes.
I also disagree with it - If the friend did value God over her friendship, she'd just walk away. IMO, it's precisely because she wants to remain friends with the wife that she asks her not to use those terms.

Making someone fear what they say, especially when no offense is intended, is one of the worse things you can do to a "friend".

Most friends will know you well enough not to mention something that might upset you and refrain from doing so to avoid such offense, anyway.

Again, the words have no malice intended.

I've known plenty of ex-pat Rhodesians and South Africans who used certain words to refer to certain persons of non-caucasian heritage, again habitial ingrained behaviour and often with no malice intended at all... doesn't make it any less offensive.

Fortunately I'm not really bothered about threats from any man-made entities that haven't met the burden of proof of their existence.

Oh, Thor exists.... It's true, I've seen the movies with him, and everything!

 

[Craig R]

Wife rang me up this morning with an interesting one. She's friends with one of the people in her building and they chat every day. Not the same company, they just know each other from daily interactions and get on well. My wife and I have no kids and our speech proves this as we are both a bit loose with our tongues. We're not religious either so saying things like "oh god" and "jesus christ" come fairly naturally to us. Now this woman my wife is friends with has asked her to stop using these terms as it offends her.

Her instant reaction (in her head, she was polite) was to **** off, I am who I am and if you don't like it then go hang out with other people, and I'm inclined to agree. She shouldn't have to change her mannerisms because it offends someone, something I support fully.

I won't change my mind on this either but thought it might make in interesting topic for discussion so here we are. What say you GD?

There are actually still some religious people in Britain? How quaint!

I'd tell said woman to bolt, or switch to using proper curse words instead and see how she likes 'em apples.

 

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What I don't understand here, if the use of the language is no big deal and completely acceptable why does the OP by their own admission imply that had they had kids they would be moderating said language? Perhaps because we are well aware that it isn't actually that acceptable in certain situations after all?

 

[ttaskmaster]

What I don't understand here, if the use of the language is no big deal and completely acceptable why does the OP by their own admission imply that had they had kids they would be moderating said language? Perhaps because we are well aware that it isn't actually that acceptable in certain situations after all?

Er... sorry, but do you mind? This is GD and we find sound, logical, sensible reasoning to be offensive round these parts!!

 

[Tefal]

Ask yourself this

Would you use the c word in the same situation?


If not why are you willing to not use one curse word because of social pressure but you're unwilling to not use a differnt one?

 

[nitram100]

Offense is taken not given, **** that woman.