Being followed/stalked

[Third Opinion]

Sorry this is a bit long and complicated. What I am looking for is advice to end something peacefully and within the law.

Here is a brief background to how it all started.

I moved into my flat about 18 months ago with a new partner. We had only been in the place a few days when we met some very nice neighbours. They are the kind of people who will do anything for you and help my disabled partner a lot whilst I am at work. Things were good for the first month until we were approached by another resident.

He ranted and raved about our neighbours referring to an incident that had happened about 5 years previous. He is about 72 and his wife is younger than me (I am 40). From what I gather and it is all very complicated, his wife and another man (not my neighbour but friend of his) had something going and it ended up becoming common knowledge. A majority of people say it was a 50/50 thing between the two but this old guy believed it to be all one sided.

I don't want to go into details but I can say it was fully investigated by the Police and found to be no crime committed. Since then this old chap has been putting pressure on my neighbour to make a false statement to the Police to try and get the case re-opened. In short he has tried to use blackmail methods like he would try and implicate him in it if he didn't. He has refused.

So how do my partner and I come into it? Well when he was ranting and raving about my neighbour he asked me to make a statement to the Police saying my neighbour got drunk and confessed to being involved and knowing more. I was shocked but decided to politely decline and added I understand his frustration but this really has nothing to do with me and I don't want to be involved. He left saying my life would become very unpleasant as I now held the key to his justice.

Since then along with my neighbours we have suffered a campaign of hate. Things like my dog being reported to the Police as dangerous, car scratched up, my neighbours car reported and towed whilst it was briefly off the road (on private property) when we were doing some MOT repairs. He reported it to the managing agent as abandoned and when a note was put on it he removed it so he had no indication it was going to be removed.

In addition he will make up false allegations to the Police (apparently I broke his windscreen) and my neighbour tried to run him over (after his car was towed). I have been accused of running businesses etc. He gets back up from a couple of poisonous old bags who live below him but he is always driving them about and doing them favours etc.

The crunch came when a rumour was spread saying that there was a sex offender living in our block. We live in a very small village so it spread like wild fire.

I called the Police and they were very helpful. He was issued with a harassment warning saying he must leave my partner and I alone and not to touch our property.

Since then he has taken to following my partner and I when we go out in our cars. He will sit a few inches off our bumpers. This has steadily got worse but the Police say they are powerless to do anything as we live in such close proximity. When spoken to he just claims a coincidence but it is not that. I pulled up in the middle of the road the other week and approached him and asked what his game was. He told me he is trying to find out where my parents live so he can speak to them and get them to make me 'see sense'.

This morning I took my neighbour to work (shes a postwomen) at 6 a.m. Low and behold when I pulled into the sorting office he pulled in behind me. He waited then followed me home.

Things are so bad now my partner refuses to go out in the car alone and I have not seen my parents in weeks as I am afraid he will follow me and then harass them. They are quite elderly and would be terrified and very angry.

I have the police due out again to talk to me but every time he sees a Police car outside my place it just further enrages him. The police need a statement as I was attacked by an unknown person before Xmas who told me I had been warned this would happen.

I would love to move but it isn't an option at the moment for quite a few personal, financial and tenancy reasons.

The following I believe is just an intimidation technique but it is truly wrecking our lives.

Obviously I cannot and would not use violence as it is not the answer and would only make things worse.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this and if so how did they deal with it?

 

[Third Opinion]

wow that's quite a situation!

if you wish to remain within the law then don't think there's a great deal more you can do other than cooperate with the police and keeping them up to date.

I don't know if this is something your MP could help with, no harm in firing off a letter though.

Actually that isn't a bad idea thank you. I thought I would post it as my head is all over the place I am not thinking straight. Talking about it and putting it in writing has helped in a way to see it how it is.

There is also loads more but it would take me all day to go through all the incidents.

 

[Third Opinion]

Bloody hell mate that is messed up, the old coot sounds like a basket case... He clearly doesn't have anything better to do than to make other peoples lives a misery.

I guess the only thing you can do is to keep on at the police in the hope they can do something more substantial. Maybe keep notes on what he has been doing?

You have hit the nail on the head there. He has devoted the last 5 years of his life to this. Other neighbours say he keeps big A4 ring binders of information he collects on people. He records conversations including the Police without their knowledge.

There is a part of me that feels sorry for him as this incident has clearly eaten him away.

Unfortunately unless we move no injunction will be effective as we live in such close proximity. That is the same with the Police.

I hate to say it but given his age I wish the worse some times which I know is very cruel.

 

[Third Opinion]

I was expecting another bunny boiler thread, this is quite different


Have you talked to his wife?

Yes I have. I am not sure how to put it politely but she does not seem to have been very well educated. They have two fairly young children together,about 6-9 in age.

After the incident 5 years ago who threw her out of their Housing association flat. This flat was given to them as a family, but he is allowed to keep a 3 bed flat on his own. She still visits and the children and her stay all weekend but he refuses to let her live their.

He wants the council to re-house her and the kids in a separate house to him. He admitted to me when we first met that he believes he is owed that flat and would like to sub let it even though he knows it is illegal.

I will also admit I am a social housing tenant after a period of ill health and homelessness.

 

[Third Opinion]

Are there any other neighbours who have been contacted by him in the same way?

Maybe you could all form an allegiance and go to the Police together.

Keeping a diary of events is also a good suggestion made by someone up there ^^^

Authorities love times, dates and events recorded.

BB x

Yes there are but unfortunately the ones he befriends have there own social problems. Two are drug dealers which is amazing in a village with a population of under 1000. I know he does their drug runs and have managed to get a drug marker put on his car.

He does smoke dope, but his allegiance with the dealers is more about using their muscle. I was beaten up by a drug dealer (not from round here) before xmas that the police need a statement from me about.

I don't do any drugs but I enjoy the odd glass of wine.

I should also add he claims to be an ex-member of the Kray gang which of course I think is BS. He is a chauffeur or ex and a well known taxi driver.

 

[Third Opinion]

West Sussex 'eh? Let me guess... Lancing, Worthing, Southwick, Fishersgate, that sort of area..? It is so nice here...

No I am further up, closer to Surrey.

I didn't want to mention the word Rape, but that was the original accusation however it was common knowledge that the two were having an affair months before.

I will also reiterate I did not live here when the accusations were made. I moved in about 4-5 years later.

I have the police out later this morning so it will be interesting what they have to say.

 

[Third Opinion]

OP, Westy made some good suggestions further up this page. I've tried to PM you with some more detailed suggestions but your trust is not configured. Please get in touch if you want some professional advice - I'm in a role where I see this type of issue on a daily basis, so I have a lot of experience in dealing with problems similar to yours.

Would really appreciate that I will configure now.

 

[Third Opinion]

When I say he is 72, I was very surprised to find that out . If you aged him without knowing I would have put him as about 56-62. He is certainly a fit guy for his age, tall as well at least 6'1.

He is definitely weird though, he drives an old BMW 5 series 520 I believe. He has the local boy racers rice it up. It now has M badges stuck all over it, a knocked off leather interior and a Cherry Bomb silencer. At least we get a giggle when he goes out at that.

 

[Third Opinion]

This is beginning to sound like an elaborate troll

/cynicism

I guarantee you I am not trolling. I can post pictures if you like.

I am just trying to give an incite into the guy and how weird he is. I guess what I am trying to explain is how he doesn't act anything like his age and the kind of BS he speaks.

Some of the younger guys are taken in by all his talk and his BMW. He doesn't impress me in the slightest. But he likes to keep these youngsters close to him as it is further intimidating for the rest of us. Imagine what it is like to have walk past him while he is chatting to a bunch of teenage junkie yobs on your own? It was one of them who attacked me before xmas.



I know it all sounds hard to believe but I have lived like this for over a year. I would invite anyone to come and see for themselves.

 

[Third Opinion]

I can give you an update on the situation.

A new policeman has been assigned to the problems in the neighbourhood. Over the last few weeks the drug culprits have been moved on. The teenagers he rely's on support from have been issued warnings. Despite being a very rural location the police are doing 3/4 driving patrols a day into the cul de sac.

I had a 2 hour meeting with the new policeman who was very convincing he intends to sort the situation. Apparently he is ex-regional crime squad and grew up near this area so is familiar with lots of goings on around here. He also let on he is furious with my stalker as he is known to intimidate some of the police officers, particularly the females.

He still follows me and my partner but not as frequently, the latest attempt was this morning an was witnessed and recorded by neighbours. The police also told me they intend to use ANPR in the area to build up a case of following me and to monitor his movements regarding drugs.

I do feel a lot better about it at the moment.